Depression

[The Moonster]

3 minutes ago, AL-FFC said:

TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

Have you referred yourself for CBT or anything like that?

I burst into tears at work one day and my employer was really helpful in taking me to a doctor, then to a mental health nurse. From there I was put forward for CBT but you can refer yourself to the mental health nurse at any time. I'm on a waiting list for CBT which is due to start early next year, but I've had 2 meetings with a nurse since then which helped me a lot more than I thought it would. It's not for everyone I don't think, but even by that second meeting I'd realised a couple of things I had to change immediately about my life, and others that I would need to work hard at over time. 

Your employer will be obliged to help you with any of this stuff too, don't ever be afraid to go to your HR and ask for help, maybe someone pushing you towards help will make a difference, rather than you worrying about where you're going to get help from.

I wish you all the best, just try to keep telling yourself that this feeling you have is only temporary and the tears will pass.

[AL-FFC]

Just now, The Moonster said:

Have you referred yourself for CBT or anything like that?

I burst into tears at work one day and my employer was really helpful in taking me to a doctor, then to a mental health nurse. From there I was put forward for CBT but you can refer yourself to the mental health nurse at any time. I'm on a waiting list for CBT which is due to start early next year, but I've had 2 meetings with a nurse since then which helped me a lot more than I thought it would. It's not for everyone I don't think, but even by that second meeting I'd realised a couple of things I had to change immediately about my life, and others that I would need to work hard at over time. 

Your employer will be obliged to help you with any of this stuff too, don't ever be afraid to go to your HR and ask for help, maybe someone pushing you towards help will make a difference, rather than you worrying about where you're going to get help from.

I wish you all the best, just try to keep telling yourself that this feeling you have is only temporary and the tears will pass.

Self Employed contractor unfortunately the nature of the job i do doesnt help much in the mental health side of things.  in the process of changing jobs.  I was paying my own way for CBT  think i prob need to look at few more sessions to help.

Thanks to everyone for the replys and advice got me in tears again (in a good way so thank you)

[Dons_1988]

Look after yourself al.

Don’t waste too much energy berating yourself for feeling shite. Been there, done that. Nearly packed it all in.

Time to be selfish and look after yourself, do whatever you need to help yourself whether it’s medical or otherwise.

Share whatever you like on here, we’re all absolute reprobates so nothing to be embarrassed or apologetic for.

[Brother Blades]

Self Employed contractor unfortunately the nature of the job i do doesnt help much in the mental health side of things.  in the process of changing jobs.  I was paying my own way for CBT  think i prob need to look at few more sessions to help.

Thanks to everyone for the replys and advice got me in tears again (in a good way so thank you)

I’ve said it often, but I’ll reiterate, this thread is the best part of the forum, we are all human & have frailties. The thing we have in common is the love of football,?Doesn’t matter what team you support, the bond is inbuilt, ffs we’ve all followed our teams through bad periods, and we should do the same to each other.
Glad to hear you are greeting for a different reason today, the people on this thread are magnificent specimens (apart from the Dees! Lol). You can DM me anytime.

[heedthebaa]

2 hours ago, AL-FFC said:

TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

I was like this for 18 months, although I knew the reason for it. It was horrible and uncontrollable, just a massive wave of emotion would come over me. I’d refused to get help in that time, but I came home one day to my wife and Doctor sitting waiting on me,  they dished a few telts out, I got on board and never looked back. All the best with this bud

[8MileBU]

My dad passed nearly 3 weeks ago, after failing for over a year. I thought I’d have it under control when the time came, 82, good innings etc but I’m broke by it. As you say the numbness and dreams, the emptiness and helplessness which has got worse since the funeral. I’m also proud though, the way we all dealt with his passing, especially in his last weeks and days as a family. You stay strong bud

I’ve basically been the exact same since January when the missus and I went through the miscarriage. Loss, in a sort-of different way, but with the same resulting feelings and emotions. I cannot wait to see the back of 2019. It can honestly get so far to f**k.

[Guest Moomintroll]

TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

Honestly have been there so many times, think I am fine, feelings start swirling & before I know it, I am in floods of tears. I then get frustrated at myself for being that way & the cycle continues. I try to use the headspace app as much as I can when I go that way as it usually eventually brings me back but I always feel utterly emotionally exhausted & embarrassed afterwards which I can't shake off even if no one else has witnessed it.

[heedthebaa]

5 minutes ago, 8MileBU said:

 

I’ve basically been the exact same since January when the missus and I went through the miscarriage. Loss, in a sort-of different way, but with the same resulting feelings and emotions. I cannot wait to see the back of 2019. It can honestly get so far to f**k.

 

I’ll drink to that mate, it can f**k right off for me

1 minute ago, Moomintroll said:

2 hours ago, AL-FFC said:

TBH this is the one place that i know or feel at home or no one gets judgey i dont like bothering folk at the best of time.

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason, am ok when i get to the gym for a bit then get home its almost like you wake up to being back to where you are.

 

Honestly have been there so many times, think I am fine, feelings start swirling & before I know it, I am in floods of tears. I then get frustrated at myself for being that way & the cycle continues. I try to use the headspace app as much as I can when I go that way as it usually eventually brings me back but I always feel utterly emotionally exhausted & embarrassed afterwards which I can't shake off even if no one else has witnessed it.

It was the embarrassment that got to me, I was avoided like the plague by people, although I did understand  why

[AL-FFC]

Thanks lads, feeling a bit better. i thought the crying thing was just me and the last 3 days havent been able to pick myself up, i can go days/weeks where i feel fine then like i say it just hits me for 6 once i think i have it under control.  Its the thought of this hanging over me the rest of my days as i know its never truly going to go away.  I even go through spells of being unable to answer the phone as just dont want to speak to people. I know inside me that best thing is being around people or speaking but times i just dont want to face either.

really is horrible as f**k and wouldnt wish anything like this on anyone.

[D.A.F.C]

It was the embarrassment that got to me, I was avoided like the plague by people, although I did understand  why

Why did people avoid you?
I feel the same, like its incredibly difficult to connect. At school or with others until in became withdrawn it seemed easy but when you're at school everyone pretty much likes and does the same things.
I think I need some sort of professional to help with why I cant fix confidence. Is it due to lack of validation or guidance from friends? What was telling was when I did connect with a few old friends and they asked questions as if I was a mental case like did I still have a job.
Personally if it was me and an old friend became withdrawn I would have went out of my way to help. I see people come out of jail or are just bad news and they reconnect with people. This is what i dont understand.
Sorry if this is a bit ranty.
Maybe I need to find validation in myself first? How?

[heedthebaa]

17 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Why did people avoid you?
I feel the same, like its incredibly difficult to connect. At school or with others until in became withdrawn it seemed easy but when you're at school everyone pretty much likes and does the same things.
I think I need some sort of professional to help with why I cant fix confidence. Is it due to lack of validation or guidance from friends? What was telling was when I did connect with a few old friends and they asked questions as if I was a mental case like did I still have a job.
Personally if it was me and an old friend became withdrawn I would have went out of my way to help. I see people come out of jail or are just bad news and they reconnect with people. This is what i dont understand.
Sorry if this is a bit ranty.
Maybe I need to find validation in myself first? How?

They avoided me because I was a mess, if you did dare to stop and speak to me, not many did it twice. Some people just don’t feel comfortable with other people’s grief or problems. Mine were very public at the time, which is par for the course in a small community. I had quite a few friends beforehand, I came out with one and what a friend he is. Professional help I’d recommend, it certainly helped me

[Guest JTS98]

10 hours ago, AL-FFC said:

I dont know if anyone else has ever had it where they break down in tears for no reason,

 

Been there, mate. In the past and still happens occasionally. It's not just you. I'm happy to take a DM any time and so are loads of others on this thread.

 

[Dons_1988]

I used to break down watching the news.
I’d see so many people in genuinely awful circumstances and start battering myself for being miserable when in reality nothing was “actually” wrong with my life.
It’s pretty normal for anyone suffering to have those moments of crying. It’s a natural body function and it helps. You probably don’t realise it’s just a build up of emotion that has erupted at an unexpected moment.

[Guest Moomintroll]

Been there, mate. In the past and still happens occasionally. It's not just you. I'm happy to take a DM any time and so are loads of others on this thread.
 

Can only echo this, my advice will be shite but happy to listen anytime someone needs it.

[D.A.F.C]

Starting to think that there’s a way out of this, I can envisage myself doing things. With work I need to just realise that there’s a small group who I won’t get on with. As someone said on here you will always get arseholes. They probably think I’m an arsehole too. What matters is what they do officially and it’s all been good or excellent when it mattered. I can’t control what others think but I can control how I think.

I watched a joe rogan interview with someone who was miserable and is now transformed. Self help sounds a bit hit or miss but he mentioned a few good things about turning almost everything around into a positive and practising meditation as a constant mindset. Yes some things are terrible but they’re a learning experience. What I’ve been doing for nearly two decades is caring about other people externalising their faults or problems. Giving a f**k about the important stuff and giving your best to everything and ignoring the toxic stuff is the way forward. It might take months or years but I’m going to try it. I’m also reading the Goggins book and the accountability thing sounds good. I used to write down a weekly plan every Sunday and would try to follow, I felt a lot calmer and less stressed when I did it. 

It’s all about interpretation and how you see things, I need to stop focusing on the worst aspects and letting it destroy my mind and worth. 
Ive literally been living scared and shutdown for so long for no reason. 

[Stellaboz]

So I'm back today in Scotland first time since my dad's funeral last year.
So nervous about it though. Going to go to the crem gardens where I scattered them both (that's fucking weird to see written down) and I hope it helps with the random dreams I have where theyre alive and I get confused, then upset when I wake.

Good thing is seeing most of my pals Saturday with the missus, and a Stephens bridie.

[Dosser-fae-the-shire]

Scattered my dad’s ashes today and I’m a complete fuckin mess.

[SweeperDee]

3 hours ago, Dosser-fae-the-shire said:

Scattered my dad’s ashes today and I’m a complete fuckin mess.

 

Understandable bud. There’s no correct way in dealing with the aftermath of a parents’ passing. There’s no set time on how long you grieve. It may sound cliche, but just try and surround yourself with friends and family; reminisce about your old man. On the flip side, you don’t need to do any of that; if you need space from everyone, if you need to cry, shout or scream, go for it. You’d have to have a heart of stone to judge someone for mourning the death of someone they care about. Do what you feel is correct.

 

Edited December 13, 2019 by SweeperDee

[Nutz_the_Squirrel]

On 11/12/2019 at 22:53, D.A.F.C said:

It’s all about interpretation and how you see things, I need to stop focusing on the worst aspects and letting it destroy my mind and worth. 
 

This could be a dictionary definition of CBT.  Well done sir. 

[Robin.Hood]

So I'm back today in Scotland first time since my dad's funeral last year.
So nervous about it though. Going to go to the crem gardens where I scattered them both (that's fucking weird to see written down) and I hope it helps with the random dreams I have where theyre alive and I get confused, then upset when I wake.

Good thing is seeing most of my pals Saturday with the missus, and a Stephens bridie.

Through to Dundee game ? If so eh am out in town tomorrow. Yasss