NorthernJambo Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Happy to new year to all good folks involved here. 2016 probably been the worst year mentally for myself but it's done now and made it through so it's all good [emoji106] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Happy new year to all the posters on here who fight this b*****d on a daily basis. All the best chaps & chapettes 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Snelders Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Yep, Happy New Year to all on here- better days are ahead. They always are. Been a shite year having been told I also have PTSD, so 2017 is the year things have to change. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 52 minutes ago, Theo Snelders said: been told I also have PTSD The Queens Park game? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Snelders Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 5 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: The Queens Park game? Thankfully nothing as bad as that Shandon 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 1 minute ago, Theo Snelders said: Thankfully nothing as bad as that Shandon You don't mean,,, not the Stenny game?? Take care of yourself/your brain anyway. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theo Snelders Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 (edited) Oh, it might have been the 9-0 horror show at Parkhead,lol. Don't worry, brain is on the mend Have a good New Year Edited January 1, 2017 by Theo Snelders 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 Hi mate, I can only give you advice from my perspective but hope it helps. Firstly - what kind of organisation do you work for. Any biggish company will have a policy for B&H - it will be bog standard but will exist along with grievance procedure etc. Do you have an HR department? Call them and ask for a copy. This action alone can raise alarm bells and they may well try and find out whats going on - this can often sort problems as the bullies get wind and shit themselves and stop. You might not be able to but even just saying things like - "I find your tone very intimating and feel like you are harrasing me - please stop" can be enough - this worked for a colleague of mine. Manager who was bullying actually went white and asked him if he wanted to go out for a drink. Without fully knowing you or exact situation that may be an impossible thing to do. You are doing the correct thing keeping a diary - continue with this as it will be invaluable if you choose to or indeed can instigate a formal grievance. Don't worry about exact dates just record what you can. Are you in a union? If so speak to local rep or union regional office for support and advice. The homophobic and racist insults is a concern and the one thing that will have your HR dept shitting it as legally this is a minefield - it should be construed as a hate crime so make sure you accurately record these instances. Good attitude though not running away - the grievance MAY be a cover up but rest assured it will be used sometime in the future against the culprits re organisations for example. My main bit of advice would be tackle it head on - otherwise it will fester - you will end up exploding and getting into bother. Keep your nose clean, work hard. Join a union if you can - failing that maybe go to CAB? Good luck - hope 2017 goes better mate. Thanks so much. Really appreciate the advice I told one of the nasty fuckers I was going to hr and they went white and shat themselves. Have decided that 2017 is a clean slate and will record or report anything and ask hr for advice. f**k this this I've spent hours worrying family members and sleep over this. It's over the end. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Article about depression and anxiety by Isabel Hardman, political journalisthttp://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/isabel-hardman-mind-stopped-working-realised-just-badly-treat/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Been debating whether to post this or not recently.I feel so down and worthless. My marriage broke down about seven months ago. I knew things weren't going well, but I didn't take it that well. I moved out five months ago, rented a nice flat literally a two minute walk from my old house, so very close by for my kids and obviously still see them loads as a result. They love to stay at my house and have taken the family split much better than I anticipated really. I'm also getting on with my ex much better than I was when we were together.I was dating a girl recently, probably the nicest, most thoughtful and understanding person I have ever met, but it was quite full on fairly early (neither of our faults really, we got swept up quite quickly), I thought it was going too fast and, if I'm honest with myself, I was terrified of getting to a stage where we maybe considered moving in together, and it breaking down and ending up back at square one, so I ended it as I don't think I could go through it again.I sometimes can't help but feel that I've totally fucked my life. I can't see me ever owning a house, I basically live from one wage to the next and after my last two relationships, I genuinely doubt I will ever be with someone and be able to trust them.I've got a pretty good job, I earn enough that I can afford to live on my own in a nice house with my children and have some money to spend on a night out or whatever. I know that there are people in situations that are a million times worse than mine, so instantly I feel guilty that I am upset and angry at how my life has turned out.Two days after NY I was walking to the bus stop after working an overtime shift at work, nothing bad had happened that day, and I, very rationally, was talking to myself about how I could throw myself in front of a bus and be done with it. I've felt pretty terrible in the past, as it has been a massive change in my life in the last twelve months, but it was only when I got home and made some dinner that it frightened me how rational and accepting I had been that I could have killed myself, and how I was quite happy at the thought of not being alive anymore.I have terrible trouble sleeping at night. Even with sleeping tablets from my Doctor I am lucky if I get four hours in total. I have started going for walks, both when I have the kids and when I don't, I try my best to do anything but sit in the house, drinking tea or beer and feeling sorry for myself, keeping active etc... but I still really struggle to sleep. I have terrible nightmares, recurring ones in which I do awful, terrible things, and that worries me about sleeping at night. It's just been a shanner of a year really. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Do you feel any worse for posting it, Adam? They say it's good to talk...I assume they meant via P&B. I'm sure most folk go through hard times and opening up about it can only be healthy. c***s are quick enough to shout about things being the best ever 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostin' Kev Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Start looking for professional help in your area this weekend and contact the ones you think are most appropriate on Monday morning. There should be free options that hopefully won;t take too long to get an appointment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Do you feel any worse for posting it, Adam? They say it's good to talk...I assume they meant via P&B. I'm sure most folk go through hard times and opening up about it can only be healthy. c***s are quick enough to shout about things being the best ever No, I am not sorry for posting it, I don't feel any better for posting it even though literally no one, not even my Doctor, knows how I am feeling. It's strange, I would never dream of posting anything like this on FB, and there are a few posters on here who know me well, but I guess it is a bit of a safe haven really for posting how you feel.I've been reading lots about grief and stuff, and I think I'm probably still grieving for my marriage and my relationship with the girl I was going out with too. I have said it a million times to myself, but I think if I had met her one year from now, I would have married her. Just one of these things really. Think I'm just going to stay single, but then I don't really enjoy my own company that much and if I have nothing to do, such as swimming or have the kids, or see friends, I end up in the pub or sitting on my own feeling shite about everything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boostin' Kev Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Just read you haven't spoken to the doc yet. Given the seriousness of what you're talking about that might be the best idea. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthernJambo Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 No, I am not sorry for posting it, I don't feel any better for posting it even though literally no one, not even my Doctor, knows how I am feeling. It's strange, I would never dream of posting anything like this on FB, and there are a few posters on here who know me well, but I guess it is a bit of a safe haven really for posting how you feel.I've been reading lots about grief and stuff, and I think I'm probably still grieving for my marriage and my relationship with the girl I was going out with too. I have said it a million times to myself, but I think if I had met her one year from now, I would have married her. Just one of these things really. Think I'm just going to stay single, but then I don't really enjoy my own company that much and if I have nothing to do, such as swimming or have the kids, or see friends, I end up in the pub or sitting on my own feeling shite about everything. No, sorry. Think you've picked me up wrong. I didn't mean for you to feel sorry or regret posting it. More you don't feel worse for posting so in that way it was the right thing to do. Agree with Keith re the pro help but that's me being hypocritical because I haven't. I just bottle it up and exclude myself from social. It's a real pity about the marriage splitting up and probably even more a shame that the next relationship didn't work out. Life can be a real shitter sometimes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8MileBU Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Been debating whether to post this or not recently.I feel so down and worthless. My marriage broke down about seven months ago. I knew things weren't going well, but I didn't take it that well. I moved out five months ago, rented a nice flat literally a two minute walk from my old house, so very close by for my kids and obviously still see them loads as a result. They love to stay at my house and have taken the family split much better than I anticipated really. I'm also getting on with my ex much better than I was when we were together.I was dating a girl recently, probably the nicest, most thoughtful and understanding person I have ever met, but it was quite full on fairly early (neither of our faults really, we got swept up quite quickly), I thought it was going too fast and, if I'm honest with myself, I was terrified of getting to a stage where we maybe considered moving in together, and it breaking down and ending up back at square one, so I ended it as I don't think I could go through it again.I sometimes can't help but feel that I've totally fucked my life. I can't see me ever owning a house, I basically live from one wage to the next and after my last two relationships, I genuinely doubt I will ever be with someone and be able to trust them.I've got a pretty good job, I earn enough that I can afford to live on my own in a nice house with my children and have some money to spend on a night out or whatever. I know that there are people in situations that are a million times worse than mine, so instantly I feel guilty that I am upset and angry at how my life has turned out.Two days after NY I was walking to the bus stop after working an overtime shift at work, nothing bad had happened that day, and I, very rationally, was talking to myself about how I could throw myself in front of a bus and be done with it. I've felt pretty terrible in the past, as it has been a massive change in my life in the last twelve months, but it was only when I got home and made some dinner that it frightened me how rational and accepting I had been that I could have killed myself, and how I was quite happy at the thought of not being alive anymore.I have terrible trouble sleeping at night. Even with sleeping tablets from my Doctor I am lucky if I get four hours in total. I have started going for walks, both when I have the kids and when I don't, I try my best to do anything but sit in the house, drinking tea or beer and feeling sorry for myself, keeping active etc... but I still really struggle to sleep. I have terrible nightmares, recurring ones in which I do awful, terrible things, and that worries me about sleeping at night. It's just been a shanner of a year really. I'll be honest - that wasn't a nice read mate. Genuinely hope you lift yourself up soon. Like you say, it's just been a tough year for you and I'm sure things will pick up. Unfortunately there's no time frame for getting over these things but you just need to soldier on for both you and your kids sake. Heid up mate. PM/DM any time if you've anything you just want to get off your chest. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 2 hours ago, Adam said: Been debating whether to post this or not recently. I feel so down and worthless. My marriage broke down about seven months ago. I knew things weren't going well, but I didn't take it that well. I moved out five months ago, rented a nice flat literally a two minute walk from my old house, so very close by for my kids and obviously still see them loads as a result. They love to stay at my house and have taken the family split much better than I anticipated really. I'm also getting on with my ex much better than I was when we were together. I was dating a girl recently, probably the nicest, most thoughtful and understanding person I have ever met, but it was quite full on fairly early (neither of our faults really, we got swept up quite quickly), I thought it was going too fast and, if I'm honest with myself, I was terrified of getting to a stage where we maybe considered moving in together, and it breaking down and ending up back at square one, so I ended it as I don't think I could go through it again. I sometimes can't help but feel that I've totally fucked my life. I can't see me ever owning a house, I basically live from one wage to the next and after my last two relationships, I genuinely doubt I will ever be with someone and be able to trust them. I've got a pretty good job, I earn enough that I can afford to live on my own in a nice house with my children and have some money to spend on a night out or whatever. I know that there are people in situations that are a million times worse than mine, so instantly I feel guilty that I am upset and angry at how my life has turned out. Two days after NY I was walking to the bus stop after working an overtime shift at work, nothing bad had happened that day, and I, very rationally, was talking to myself about how I could throw myself in front of a bus and be done with it. I've felt pretty terrible in the past, as it has been a massive change in my life in the last twelve months, but it was only when I got home and made some dinner that it frightened me how rational and accepting I had been that I could have killed myself, and how I was quite happy at the thought of not being alive anymore. I have terrible trouble sleeping at night. Even with sleeping tablets from my Doctor I am lucky if I get four hours in total. I have started going for walks, both when I have the kids and when I don't, I try my best to do anything but sit in the house, drinking tea or beer and feeling sorry for myself, keeping active etc... but I still really struggle to sleep. I have terrible nightmares, recurring ones in which I do awful, terrible things, and that worries me about sleeping at night. It's just been a shanner of a year really. Sorry to hear this bud. I can't relate personally to your problems, but can to feeling like utter shite. As KK says, get yourself to your GP, sooner the better. I waited two years to do so and it was two years wasted in a shitey wilderness. All the best 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
well fan for life Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Think I mentioned this on another thread about my recent experiences. I'd probably say the past 4-5 weeks has been the lowest I've ever felt in my life in my own head. The whole of last year was a never-ending shitstorm, various health issues in the family (both mental & physical issues) culminating in me finding my uncle dead in his living room one morning. Not necessarily a shock as he had been ill for years but still something I don't think I'm over completely. Currently I'm going through the worst break up of my life. The girl I was convinced I'd spend the rest of my life with split up with me before Christmas and it's been entirely her decision. She's made some bad choices, but I still care about her a lot and I sit wracked with anxiety that I could end up not being with her. She was feeling there were problems in the relationship but didn't want to open up about them because she hates rocking the boat and it's resulted in this absolute nightmare for me. I've found myself waking up in the night having proper nightmares about her fairly often since. I've ended up just taking days off work to sit in bed, which I know for a fact isn't healthy. Pretty much the last 7-8 months has absolutely kicked me into the ground and every time I think I can turn it round it feels like it just gets worse. Venting at a football forum is a strange step to take, but I wanted to put this out there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy Dufresne Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Having known you for 10 years Adam i would have said man up,but after the way i felt at the beginning of Dec then i know how you feel.Give me a phone if you want too talk and go to the Docs.I went the day after i broke down and after talking to her i felt much better.I am doing an online course called Beat The Blues and it is helping. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjw Posted January 13, 2017 Share Posted January 13, 2017 Always keep 'breathing space' in mind if your head isn't in the right place.Its sometimes good to unload on someone who is just a voice on the end of a phone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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