pittsburgh phil Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 Since the untimely death of Keith Harris, Orville has retrained and now has a mid level job in human resources for a leading retail company. After a period of low self esteem and alcohol problems Cuddles the monkey has found religion and now runs a new age retreat on the Isle Of Man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie95 Posted December 5, 2017 Share Posted December 5, 2017 On 30/11/2017 at 19:43, Hedgecutter said: STV sold Scotsport seasons 1991-2008 to North Korean TV on a cheap 17 year contract, who dub it and tell their viewers that this is the top league outside of Korea. Millions of viewers think that Kilmarnock are the current European Cup champions and several recent deserters have requested onward travel through AT Mays. Kilmarnock are such a well respected club in North Korea, that every year on their birthday, North Korean children must leave one of their gifts outside their house as a way of showing respect and honour to Danny Invincibile. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon EF Posted December 6, 2017 Share Posted December 6, 2017 (edited) French Napoleonic War commander, Marshal Ney, had a horse called Marshal Neigh. Marshal Neigh was mistakenly given command during the Battle of Waterloo, which was a major contributing factor in the French defeat. Edited December 6, 2017 by Gordon EF 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Michael Fassbender has been cast as Pedro Pony in upcoming Lars Von Trier big screen adaptation of Peppa Pig. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 One in ten second-hand paperback novels show somebody's full passport details (full name, DoB, passport number etc) imprinted on the cover due to people filling out border control forms on top of the novels they were reading during travel. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 At an MSP's christmas night out recently a worse for wear Ruth Davidson and Nicola Sturgeon made a remake of 'two girls, one cup' Johann Lamont filmed it but its only viewable on a group chat of MSP's which no one else has access to. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellinwigan Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 Terry Nutkins will take over from Daniel Craig as James Bond after the next film 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 A National Day of Mourning has been announced following the death of Kilmarnock Supreme Leader Keith Chegwin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topcat(The most tip top) Posted December 11, 2017 Share Posted December 11, 2017 The popular song “Old MacDonald” is based on the real life story of a ventriloquist and agricultural subsidies fraudster who had a really shit hand in a game of scrabble 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted December 12, 2017 Share Posted December 12, 2017 Upmarket men's fashion retailers in France and Italy sell socks in packs of three to combat the problem of odd socks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 On 12/12/2017 at 07:04, NewBornBairn said: Upmarket men's fashion retailers in France and Italy sell socks in packs of three to combat the problem of odd socks. Though in Italy men wear the extra one rolled up in their underpants to look macho. This once went tragically wrong when one guy mistakenly put his sock down the back and people ran away screaming. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Contraception advice from Italian priests until recently was back door only. That might be true though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 USB stands for unimaginable stupid b*****d in a tribute to the sadist who decided to make it polarised but unreadable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moniton Posted December 22, 2017 Share Posted December 22, 2017 I told my daughters that Debbie McGee of strictly fame was 73. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 A successful Chinese super-budget film about Scotland that was filmed entirely in China costs us an estimated £50 million a year in lost tourism as millions of Chinese think Scotland just looks the same and isn't worth visiting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Blades Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 A successful Chinese super-budget film about Scotland that was filmed entirely in China costs us an estimated £50 million a year in lost tourism as millions of Chinese think Scotland just looks the same and isn't worth visiting. The entire film consisted of a time-lapse camera shot of the hedge at Glebe Park other than an action shoot out outside the crumbling Flicks location. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: A successful Chinese super-budget film about Scotland that was filmed entirely in China costs us an estimated £50 million a year in lost tourism as millions of Chinese think Scotland just looks the same and isn't worth visiting. 2 hours ago, Brother Blades said: The entire film consisted of a time-lapse camera shot of the hedge at Glebe Park other than an action shoot out outside the crumbling Flicks location. A section of the Great Wall of China was painted green in order to look like the hedge for the filming. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Chesney Hawkes gave the Queen Mother an STD in 1988. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 The one and only was originally called the queen just pumped me but radio one would not play it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Brian May initially refused to join Queen and was only persuaded when the lead singer promised to change his name to something to do with astronomy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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