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Best nicknames you've heard


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We've had a good few in our work over the years - a guy called Windy, 'cos you always had to open one after he'd left, a really skinny girl whose best pal was enormous who collectively were called Twiggy and Tanky, and a boss we called Mr Burns - when he heard about it he was quite pleased, because he thought it was on account of him being strict.

Less pleased when he found out it was because he looked a bit like Simon Weston.

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There was a cracker on Off The Ball the other week about a short school janitor called Janny De Vito.

I'm sure when Off the Ball did it before there was one where a guy was called Brad by all his workmates, and he thought it was because he looked like Brad Pitt. In truth it was short for bradawl because he was a small boring tool.

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Go to the Arbroath games with a guy called James. During the World Cup we pronounced it the way the commentators said James Rodriguez. In about September one lad approached me and asked if his name was Hamed. After telling him no and why we said it the way we did the lad looked at me and said "I thought his name was Hamed because he owned a paper shop"

He has been known as Hamed since.

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I worked with a Joiner down in Manchester that liked the drink so much that he was known as "tampax" cos he'd be "in for 1 week then out for 3"!

Shame really as he was a very good joiner.....just a piss tank!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Shamelessly stolen from yesterday's Off The Ball when they were talking about tight mates at the pub:

A guy called 'crime'' because 'he doesn't pay'.

A guy known as 'The Blacksmith' because every time it's his round 'he makes a bolt for the door'.

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