Tinder

[itzdrk]

12 minutes ago, RuMoore said:

I always thought that game was some urban dictionary type of myth but I met someone who actually participated and ate said biscuit. 

He was exactly how you'd imagine someone that may do that would look like. 

Rugby lad eh. 

[Wee-Bey]

2 minutes ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

Asian/Malaysian 

The only 2 genders.

[SweeperDee]

12 minutes ago, Bonksy+HisChristianParade said:

Asian/Malaysian 

I mean I was just specifying what part of Asia she was from….obviously.

[Boghead ranter]

2 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

. It might be new to me but she checks her sugars with that wee arm monitor thing and a phone app during sex, and depending she might need to go get a biscuit or a dextrose tablet. What am I supposed to do? 

At least she's right into p***ks, don't knock it.

[SweeperDee]

Just now, Boghead ranter said:

At least she's right into p***ks, don't knock it.

She’s p***ked me a few times. Perfect blood sugar. 

[scottsdad]

2 minutes ago, SweeperDee said:

She’s p***ked me a few times. 

[Derry Alli]

17 minutes ago, SweeperDee said:

She’s p***ked me a few times.  

[Miguel Sanchez]

2 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

I’ve expanded my fairly limited scope of people I’m attracted to and have been seeing this Asian/Malaysian bird for a couple of months from Tinder. Lovely girl, smart, going to be a doctor, very “housewife-y” in that she insists on doing things for me, always does the dishes, that sort of thing. Great ride as well. 
 

However, she is diabetic. This in of itself is not an issue, my grandfather was diabetic and he was the love of my life. She goes on about it…quite a lot though. Like, probably more than a regular diabetic would. Like she defines herself by it. Yes, diabetes is awful, it’s a pain in the arse and especially when you’re not a typical fat person who gets it cause they eat too much sugary shite. It must be hard for her to balance medicine and being diabetic but I know there is support in place for NHS staff with diabetes. 
 

It might be new to me but she checks her sugars with that wee arm monitor thing and a phone app during sex, and depending she might need to go get a biscuit or a dextrose tablet. What am I supposed to do? 
 

Ach, I’m being a moan. I’m very lucky, I’m actually going through a tough time in my life and she’s been a light in it. She does like a whinge though. 

 

[Mr. Brightside]

28 minutes ago, SweeperDee said:

She’s p***ked me a few times.

I thought you said she was Malaysian?

[Guest]

How does she manage to grab her phone and check her blood sugar before 30 seconds....

[BFTD]

2 hours ago, RuMoore said:

I always thought that game was some urban dictionary type of myth but I met someone who actually participated and ate said biscuit. 

He was exactly how you'd imagine someone that may do that would look like. 

I worked with a guy who'd been in the army. On a long train trip, he once regaled us with horrifying tales of the kind of shit squaddies get up to, including...

Spoiler

a game they played where someone's spunk would get passed mouth-to-mouth between them, with the loser having to swallow. I forget the details, but I assume it was some kind of musical chairs/pass the parcel affair.

This was about twenty years ago or I'd have asked if they all remembered to say "no homo" afterwards.

[velo army]

4 hours ago, SweeperDee said:

I’ve expanded my fairly limited scope of people I’m attracted to and have been seeing this Asian/Malaysian bird for a couple of months from Tinder. Lovely girl, smart, going to be a doctor, very “housewife-y” in that she insists on doing things for me, always does the dishes, that sort of thing. Great ride as well. 
 

However, she is diabetic. This in of itself is not an issue, my grandfather was diabetic and he was the love of my life. She goes on about it…quite a lot though. Like, probably more than a regular diabetic would. Like she defines herself by it. Yes, diabetes is awful, it’s a pain in the arse and especially when you’re not a typical fat person who gets it cause they eat too much sugary shite. It must be hard for her to balance medicine and being diabetic but I know there is support in place for NHS staff with diabetes. 
 

It might be new to me but she checks her sugars with that wee arm monitor thing and a phone app during sex, and depending she might need to go get a biscuit or a dextrose tablet. What am I supposed to do? 
 

Ach, I’m being a moan. I’m very lucky, I’m actually going through a tough time in my life and she’s been a light in it. She does like a whinge though. 

Have a basket of fruit next to the bed and some other tasty diabetes friendly snacks.  She likes to take care of you, but often complaining about stuff is an indicator of a desire to be cared for. Having some luxury snacks next to the bed (or making her something as a prelude to said pumping) would help her feel heard and cared for. 

I dare say it will increase the quality of your sex life too.

[RuMoore]

31 minutes ago, BTFD said:

I worked with a guy who'd been in the army. On a long train trip, he once regaled us with horrifying tales of the kind of shit squaddies get up to, including...

  Reveal hidden contents

a game they played where someone's spunk would get passed mouth-to-mouth between them, with the loser having to swallow. I forget the details, but I assume it was some kind of musical chairs/pass the parcel affair.

This was about twenty years ago or I'd have asked if they all remembered to say "no homo" afterwards.

Ahah I know an army lad that had equally as horrific stories. Also wouldn't stop saying things were "jack". 

[BFTD]

6 minutes ago, RuMoore said:

Ahah I know an army lad that had equally as horrific stories. Also wouldn't stop saying things were "jack". 

Good God, that's even worse.

[SweeperDee]

4 hours ago, Empty It said:

How does she manage to grab her phone and check her blood sugar before 30 seconds....

Aye, very good.

[SweeperDee]

3 hours ago, velo army said:

Have a basket of fruit next to the bed and some other tasty diabetes friendly snacks.  She likes to take care of you, but often complaining about stuff is an indicator of a desire to be cared for. Having some luxury snacks next to the bed (or making her something as a prelude to said pumping) would help her feel heard and cared for. 

I dare say it will increase the quality of your sex life too.

I mean I’d like to think I’m a pretty caring partner, but the things she complains about relates mostly to her diabetes and her studying for her medicine exams. There’s f**k all I can do about that other than reassure her she will do absolutely fine with them.

A bowl of fruit beside the bed though…has anyone in the history of mankind done this or am I scurvy-tarnished swine? Sounds to me like OFTW behaviour. 

[velo army]

29 minutes ago, SweeperDee said:

I mean I’d like to think I’m a pretty caring partner, but the things she complains about relates mostly to her diabetes and her studying for her medicine exams. There’s f**k all I can do about that other than reassure her she will do absolutely fine with them.

A bowl of fruit beside the bed though…has anyone in the history of mankind done this or am I scurvy-tarnished swine? Sounds to me like OFTW behaviour. 

Who cares what is common or not? If she's experiencing mid-coital hypo-glycaemia (ken, I'm a silver-tongued bassa) then that's a circumstance that requires a solution. I'm not suggesting you permanently keep fruit there, but if you know she's coming over it might be a nice thing to have. I wasn't implying you were inconsiderate, but there's always ways in which we can be more caring.  Behaviour is broadly designed to either bring things towards us or push things away. Complaining is often a bringing in behaviour in which the person frames themselves as the victim in order to elicit sympathy and attention. I'm just offering an interpretation. It could be shite.

Food and sex are often closely linked. Perhaps you can find foods that are also aphrodisiacs (grapes and figs are particularly erotic) so you could do a bit of research on that. She's Malaysian so that gives you lychees, which are lovely and sweet, but also papaya. Melted dark chocolate with its magnesium and theobroma (which increases blood flow and dopamine production, increasing the sense of pleasure) can make it a bit of a playground (by dipping fruit into it and perhaps feeding each other) as well as keeping her blood sugar at the right level.

So aye, it might not be familiar territory, but it could be a playful way of addressing her concerns and increasing the intimate connection between the two of you.

Enjoy.

 

Edited May 9, 2023 by velo army

[alta-pete]

^^^ Dr Ruth found. 

[Sergeant Wilson]

8 minutes ago, velo army said:

Who cares what is common or not? If she's experiencing mid-coital hypo-glycaemia (ken, I'm a silver-tongued bassa) then that's a circumstance that requires a solution. I'm not suggesting you permanently keep fruit there, but if you know she's coming over it might be a nice thing to have. I wasn't implying you were inconsiderate, but there's always ways in which we can be more caring.  Behaviour is broadly designed to either bring things towards us or push things away. Complaining is often a bringing in behaviour in which the person frames themselves as the victim in order to elicit sympathy and attention. I'm just offering an interpretation. It could be shite.

Food and sex are often closely linked. Perhaps you can find foods that are also aphrodisiacs (grapes and figs are particularly erotic) so you could do a bit of research on that. She's Malaysian so that gives you lychees, which are lovely and sweet, but also papaya. Melted dark chocolate with its magnesium and theobroma (which increases blood flow and dopamine production, increasing the sense of pleasure) can make it a bit of a playground (by dipping fruit into it and perhaps feeding each other) as well as keeping her blood sugar at the right level.

So aye, it might not be familiar territory, but it could be a playful way of addressing her concerns and increasing the intimate connection between the two of you.

Enjoy.

 

Fucking hell!

[Mark Connolly]

It's just a new take on "I'm fat because every time I shag yer maw, she makes me a sandwich"