longjohn Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 About time we had some culture and refinement in this place. I attach for your cultural enjoyment the following ode that was forwarded to me by one of my esteemed collegues who is obviously a man of critical literary taste... I know a man whose name is Jim I really love throwing tomatoes at him Tomatoes are soft and don't hurt the skin But these fuckers do, coz they're still in the tin 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Just in time for Valentine's Day. Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 If I had the wings of a sparrow If I had the arse of a crow I'd fly over Dens Park tomorrow And shite on the b*****ds below - Winston Churchill 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Roses are red Violets are blue I was in goal at Rangers Wait, so was I too Andy Goram 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WaffenThinMint Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Mary had a little lamb it always was a grunting so she tied it to the garden fence and kicked it's fuckin c**t in! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Down at Fraggle Rock Grab a Fraggle by the cock Swing him round your head Until the b*****d's dead - Geoff Capes 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 The only rhyme that bitesStep back while I attack the micDemon rhymes like a script from Fright NightWrote like a poetDesigned like a sculptorCarved from steel ‘cause strength is my culture - MC Tunes 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 A cab combs the snake, Tryin' to rake in that last night's fare, And a solitary sailor Who spends the facts of his life like small change on strangers Paws his inside P-coat pocket for a welcome twenty-five cents, And the last bent butt from a package of Kents, As he dreams of a waitress with Maxwell House eyes And marmalade thighs with scrambled yellow hair. Tom Waits 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamDFC Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Saturday mornin', Frost on the ground, Welshbairn quotes a poem, 'walloper found' 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I cut and I slash slice and gash Last night was a blast I can't quite remember when I had that Much fun of a half pint of a jack My last Vic and a half A flashlight up Kim Kardashian's ass I remember the first time I dismembered a family member December I think it was, I was havin' drinks with my cousin I wrapped him in Christmas lights, pushed him into the stinkin' tub Cut him up into pieces and just when I went to drink his blood I thought I oughta drink his bath water that oughta be fun That's when my days of serial murder manslaughter begun The sight of blood excites me, that might be an artery son Your blood curdling screams just don't seem to bother me none It's 3 A.M. and here I come so you should probably run A secret passageway around here man there's got to be one Oh no there's probably none, he can scream all that he wants Top of his lungs, but ain't no stoppin' me from choppin' him up... up 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Joseph Stalin Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 We often heard the sound of your voice And listened silently, with folded hands, As each word sank into our souls. We all know: The day will come That frees us from need and compulsion. What is a year! What is a law that would restrain us The pure faith that you have given us Pulses through, guides our young lives. My Führer, you alone are the way, the goal! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 Sitting nude in my living room, it's almost noon I wonder what's on the tube, maybe they'll show some boobs Surfin' every channel until I find Hannah Montana Then I reach for the Aloe and lanolin Bust all over the wall paneling dismantlin' every candle On top of the fireplace mantle and Grab my flannel and my bandana then Kiss the naked mannequin man again You can see him standin' in my front window if you look in I'm just a hooligan who's used to usin' hallucinogens Causin' illusions again Brain contusions again Cutting and bruisin' the skin Razors, scissors and pins Jesus, when does it end? Phases, that I go through Days that I'm so confused Days that I don't know who Gave, these molecules to Me, what am I gon' do? Hey the prodigal son The diabolical one Very methodical when I slaughter them 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 a poem by John Donne I remember from school which I mutter when festering in bed with hangover on a nice morning..... Busy old fool, unruly sun, Why dost thou thus, Through windows, and through curtains call on us? Must to thy motions lovers' seasons run? Saucy pedantic wretch, go chide Late school boys and sour prentices, Go tell court huntsmen that the king will ride, Call country ants to harvest offices, Love, all alike, no season knows nor clime, Nor hours, days, months, which are the rags of time 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisal Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Pump up the special Pump up the special TARTAN! Wadsworth. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy_K_97 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Roses are red Violets are blue I'VE GOT A GUN GET IN THE VAN 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Roses are red Smell yer maw 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I like to eat slice sausage Especially on a piece But if you eat too many It can make you obese So I think I'll change my diet My waistline it will please I've binned the sausage pieces And now eat roasted cheese ETA.Its fucking slice sausage and roasted cheese !!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banana Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Unleash The Nade What the f**k is roasted cheese Mods, banhammer please 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie95 Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 I'm trying to write a poem that can hopefully rhyme yet again I could always just plagiarize, that can't be too much of a crime. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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