BFTD Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Sorry I missed your witty retort. Rich teas are shite, not fit for eating and bought by Sengas fir wee Sevcoigne to eat on the bus back from Farmfoods ,and occasionally shoplfted by Smackheads for they're flea ridden dugs. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Been texting a Czech burd I met in Tenerife, not sure I fancy paying a couple of hundred quid to fly to Prague for my hole, though. Get her to come over here - these foreigners are all desperate to invade Britain, take our jobs, and steal our women, dontchakno. What's so great about our women anyway? You never hear lassies complaining about foreign burds stealing our men. We must be absolute arse 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Sainsbury's are out of fair trade bananas. Can I learn to live with myself at returning home with an unfair trade bunch? Perhaps I should seek counseling? Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Bairn Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 The Dundee branch's roll machine was broken yesterday so I had to buy some croissants instead. Oh the humanity, Grimbo. What's this roll machine you speak of? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 The Dundee branch's roll machine was broken yesterday so I had to buy some croissants instead. Oh the humanity, Grimbo. Mozza2 I think we can only learn the humanity of any given circumstance by walking that mile in others shoes (yuk). I feel your pain sir! Can you now call yourself a francophiliac? Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 A green line has appeared on my 60" TV in the living room and I have no cover for it. Looks like the wean is going to "accidentally" launch something at it and break it and thus the house insurance will be getting claimed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 My hummus has the beginnings of mould on it this morning. What the hell am I going to dip my pitta bread in now? Am sure mould would improve the taste of hummus. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Philistine. They invented hummus. And the kebab and Channel 5. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 The storms here today have spoiled any chance of getting my pool cleaned. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 The storms here today have spoiled any chance of getting my pool cleaned. That is SO Real Housewives. I'm picturing you gingerly typing that with one finger, while scowling that your fingernails are taking so long to dry 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grim O'Grady Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I complained to the wife that my 2nd cup of tea (from the pot) was stewed. She replied that she didn't know how to stop it from becoming stewed, for Christ's sake, how difficult is it for her to lift the cosy, take off the lid (once the tea has brewed) & remove the tea bags. I told her the folk on the Asian continent still have the drudgery of using tea leaves! I can see an appointment at the divorce courts imminent. Grimbo 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 I took chicken breasts out the freezer this morning with the intention of stuffing them with soft cheese and pesto and baking them with a parmesan and breadcrumb crust for dinner with some nice roasted tomatoes on the vine on the side. Turns out that I'd taken Turkey steaks out instead and have now had to try and fashion them into pockets using cocktail sticks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 A green line has appeared on my 60" TV in the living room and I have no cover for it. Looks like the wean is going to "accidentally" launch something at it and break it and thus the house insurance will be getting claimed. Maybe one for the "Out of the mouths of babes" thread.. I was on the verge of having to shell out for a new TV after the missus complained about green lines across our TV when you turned it off. She was adamant this was the death knell of the TV. I hadn't seen them but took her word for it. Being without her soap opera fix is too hellish to imagine so the replacement was sourced etc but just before ordering it I glanced at the (switched off) tv and asked her "are these were the green lines she was worried about?". It was a reflection from a lamp across the room with a green glass shade. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 I complained to the wife that my 2nd cup of tea (from the pot) was stewed. She replied that she didn't know how to stop it from becoming stewed, for Christ's sake, how difficult is it for her to lift the cosy, take off the lid (once the tea has brewed) & remove the tea bags. I told her the folk on the Asian continent still have the drudgery of using tea leaves! I can see an appointment at the divorce courts imminent. Grimbo It's good to read that your wife once again has a pot to piss in. Might explain the stewed taste too 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamdunk Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Maybe one for the "Out of the mouths of babes" thread.. I was on the verge of having to shell out for a new TV after the missus complained about green lines across our TV when you turned it off. She was adamant this was the death knell of the TV. I hadn't seen them but took her word for it. Being without her soap opera fix is too hellish to imagine so the replacement was sourced etc but just before ordering it I glanced at the (switched off) tv and asked her "are these were the green lines she was worried about?". It was a reflection from a lamp across the room with a green glass shade. Thought had to buy new tv Didn't. That's a RTBC 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan Vojáček Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 (edited) I don't know if this is first or second world, but I need to moan about it anyway. My car went into the garage to get a bit of welding done on the drivers footwell. The work was completed fine and I got the car back a few hours later. Anyway I go out this morning, open the door and there's a really rancid glue smell stinking out the car from the soundproofing being stuck back down. I've opened all the doors and the boot, sprayed it with air freshener and stuck another couple of air fresheners in it, but the smell won't leave. I'll keep you updated. ###Update, 14:19### Hoovered it out, then cleaned the dash with scooshy stuff and the windows with glass cleaner. The glass cleaner smells really nice and appley. Edited July 14, 2015 by Sonsteam of 08 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Ginger Prince Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I was looking forward to sticking a couple of pies in the oven for lunch. Forgot I didn't have any pies left, now I'm going to have to walk 15 minutes to the cafe to get a couple of rolls instead. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Went to a wee cafe for my lunch there and they only had seats that were covered by parasols, when I wanted to burn. I had to move my seat around a foot away from my table in order to get even coverage. Dicks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Was on hols last week and had a private roof terrace & jacuzzi. Unfortunately, there was quite a bit of drink taken (for a week solid) and I could never work the jacuzzi. I could switch it on but not off. I also kept managing to send it into a cycle that drained all the water out, resulting in jets of water blasting skywards and into neighbouring apartments. I managed to source a pdf of the user manual online but was too drunk to make sense of it. My problems mainly happened at night so the maintenance guys were not around to help. I found a trapdoor in the terrace and the stopcock feeding water to the tub so was able to get into a crawl space and keep filling it, and also found a fuse that killed the power to switch it off. Also managed to rip the top off the toilet cistern, resulting in mains water spraying everywhere. I armed the missus with some towels and she did a grand job stemming the high pressure blast of water that was quickly filling the lower floor until I found the shut off valve. I had to rip various panels off the wall but eventually found it and lay waste to it with some cutlery. One I had shut the water off I realised the stopcock I'd just mullered was a hard turn thing, requiring no tools. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 ^^^ Brits abroad for this pishe 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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