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The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity

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On Tinder she described herself as 5 ft 3 blue eyes, slim body and blonde hair.

Met up and had sex with her on the first date! 

Had to do doggy style though as the 3 eyes were a bit off-putting.

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I threw a bottle of domestos over a copper once.

I got charged with bleach of the police.

How many bass guitar players does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, the piano player does it with his left hand.


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I asked this girl at work why she's still dating a scruffy homeless bloke who thinks he's Elvis. She replied,
 "I'm courting a tramp, and I can't walk out!"

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Her: Who's your favourite literary vampire?

Me: The one in Sesame Street

Her: He doesn't count

Me: I can assure you he does


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