Jump to content

The joke thread: a thread for camaraderie and hilarity

Recommended Posts

I chatted up a blind bird last night - no surprise in the fact that she'd have to be blind for me to pull her, but anyhoo - I took her upstairs to bed and she said I had the biggest cock she'd ever got her hands on. 

I said 'you're pulling my leg!'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A young lady is walking through a supermarket when she spots the lad who had given her a good seeing to the night before.


"Here, you!" she shouts. "You told me last night that you were a test pilot! So just what are you doing stacking soap powder on the shelves here, you low-life liar?!"


"You got it wrong" he replies. "I only told you I was a member of an Ariel display team..."



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guy is up in court for murdering his wife and daughter with a hammer. The judge is reading out the charges, "you are charged with murdering your wife with a hammer"  "ya lousy b*****d!!" Shouts a voice from the gallery. "You are also charged with murdering your daughter with a hammer" "ya lousy b*****d" shouts the voice again. The judge Says "look, I know this is a very sensitive case, but please refrain from shouting from the gallery" the Man Says "ok sorry, but I've lived next door to the b*****d for 20 years, and everytime I've asked for a loan of a hammer he's told me he's  no got one!!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A polar bear walks into a bar.

Barman: What can I get you?

Polar bear: Two pints of Tennents and a packet of....




B: if you don't mind me asking, why the long pause?

PB: They help me walk in the snow.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Create New...