Black and White Tragic Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 In the vein of the Viz column by the same name, let's hear your best. Original is better, but if you can remember good ones which stuck in your head, then go for it. For those too wet behind the ears, they are things like "Save money on your car insurance by selling your car and have your mates taxi you everywhere". That is obviously an example of a poor one as I don't want to set the bar too high! Some folk probably will use or have used that one anyway. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Save money on pet food by burning the fuckers alive. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redhead81 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 One I can remember from Viz from years ago was "make your own Brillo pads by putting a bar of soap inside a shredded wheat" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob the tank Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Save money on pet food by burning the fuckers alive. Crispy Pets thread for this pish 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhiteRoseKillie Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Save money on vibrators by filling cigar tubes with angry wasps. If your child is choking on an ice cube, clear the blockage by putting boiling water down their throat. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted May 1, 2016 Author Share Posted May 1, 2016 I just remembered a good one. Hiring? Avoid unlucky candidates by binning half of the job applications at random. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albino Rover Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Forum users: save time starting your own threads about popular subjects by using the P&B search function for existing ones. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dindeleux Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 If you want to win a game against Morton remember their players can be easily bribed. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black and White Tragic Posted May 1, 2016 Author Share Posted May 1, 2016 Forum users: save time starting your own threads about popular subjects by using the P&B search function for existing ones. I did do a search, but the p&b Apple app search facility came up with two results, neither were that thread! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Avoid women's shite patter by having your Mum procure vulnerable girls and hold them until you can be arsed turning up to impose your perverted will on them. Then discard. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Rogic Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Convince neighbours you are a serial killer by erecting a tent and digging holes in your back garden at 3.00 a.m 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Convince neighbours you are a Tory MP by playing a sound effect of a whip cracking and moaning occasionally. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unleash The Nade Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Save money on expensive adress books, by simply scoring out the names and addresses on a telephone directory of all the people you don't know Hate washing the dishes?,,,, At kiddies bath time, give them the dirty crockery and cutlery to play with in the soapy water for squeaky clean results Do you have trouble locating your car in busy car parks?, next time before leaving, let the air out of all your tyres. When your return, your car is easily identifiable as the one sitting 4 inches lower than al the others. Cant afford expensive beach holidays? . Turn your central heating up full and insert sandpaper insoles inside your slippers for that authentic walking on sand in the sunshine feeling 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Save money on expensive binoculars by standing closer to the objects you wish to view. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 So rather than "in the vein of the Viz column" we're just posting actual Top Tips from the Viz column? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 That's a shite top tip, mate. Got any better ones? Before commenting on the wid or widnotness of a female, make sure she isn't 15. Better? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavin_3110 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Hate washing the dishes?,,,, At kiddies bath time, give them the dirty crockery and cutlery to play with in the soapy water for squeaky clean results Works even better if at least one of them is epileptic and you stick a strobe light in the room. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 Much, thanks. But too fucking late. Feeling the cold but too miserly to put on the heating? Travel back in time to the 70s and pick up a few electric blankets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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