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Left handed people


Romeo

Left handed people are superior to right handed people  

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I wonder if left handed people are less easy prey for pickpockets as the wallet will be kept in the pocket that is on the other side of the majority of the populous. 

 

I, like the good c*nts on this forum, am a southpaw too...

 

 

 

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In Polo, you also have to say things like
"Oh I Say" and "Spiffing" and "Crikey"

I think I would rather be left handed (although I'm not)



It's a funny sport. Played exclusively by toffs and Central Asian nomads.
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I'm a righty, but I copied my lefty dad's hand-writing style: gripping the pencil/pen so it points away from you and your hand then smudges what you've just written.   Strangely the first (and only) teacher to point it out, and query the sanity of me being right-handed but giving myself all the disadvantages of a left-handed writing style, was my Physics teacher in 6th year.

Despite me and my wife both being righties, and my dad being the only lefty ancestor we know of in either family, both our kids are lefties.

 

 

 

 

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The only thing I do with my left hand really is write, throw and punch with my right.

Apparently according to my mum I started of right handed in School then one day just switched hands. Can't really remember that, must've liked being unable to use pens without smudging the c***s.

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I love watching left-handers write. It's like watching a very young child try to tie their shoelaces. They know what the general principle is, but they struggle mightily with the actual mechanics of it all.

 

Plus there's this: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11666275/Paedophiles-most-likely-to-be-left-handed.html

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Writing (poorly): Right hand

 

Masturbation: Right hand

 

Using a mouse: Right hand

 

Wiping: Right hand

 

Brushing my teeth (well holding the electric toothbrush): Left hand

 

Using a fork: Left hand

 

Using a spoon: Left hand

 

Using a knife: Right hand

 

Texting and browsing on my phone: Right hand

 

Drinking: Left hand

 

Eating crisps and peanuts: Left hand

 

Eating a Snickers: Right hand

 

Entering my pin at an ATM or chip and pin device: Right hand

 

Putting my card in to an ATM: Right hand

 

Pressing the button for an elevator: Right hand

 

Dialling a number on a landline phone: Left hand

 

Opening doors using the handle: Right hand

 

Using the TV remote: Right hand

 

Pointing: Right hand

 

Making the ‘w****r’ hand gesture: Right hand

 

Flicking the V’s: Right hand

 

Giving the finger (easy now!): Right hand

 

Pressing the button at traffic lights: Right hand

 

Resting my chin upon: Left hand

 

Scratching my head: Left hand

 

Scratching my nose: Left hand

 

Rubbing my eyes: Left hand

 

Cracking my right big toe: Left hand

 

Throwing darts (badly): Right hand

 

Gripping the end of a pool cue: Right hand (so left hand is used as the rest/guide)

Edited by DA Baracus
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42 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

A big long list

Writing (poorly): Left
Masturbation: Both hands, the so-called "praying for milk" technique
Using a mouse: Right hand (used to work with a leftie who used his left hand AND swapped his mouse buttons around. That's taking things too far)
Wiping: Right hand
Brushing my teeth : Left hand
Using a fork: Left hand
Using a spoon: Left hand
Using a knife: Left hand
Texting and browsing on my phone: Left hand
Drinking: Left hand
Eating crisps and peanuts: Left hand
Eating a Snickers: Snickers are shite. But left hand for Twixes, Twirls and Yorkies. Right hand for Drifters.
Entering my pin at an ATM or chip and pin device: Left hand
Putting my card in to an ATM: Left hand
Pressing the button for an elevator: Left hand
Dialling a number on a landline phone: Left hand
Opening doors using the handle: Left hand
Using the TV remote: Left hand
Pointing: Left hand
Making the ‘w****r’ hand gesture: Both hands (see above)
Flicking the V’s: Left hand
Giving the finger (easy now!): Left hand
Pressing the button at traffic lights: Left hand
Resting my chin upon: Left Hand
Scratching my head: Depends where the itch is
Scratching my nose: Depends where the itch is
Rubbing my eyes: Both hands of course. I have two eyes and two hands
Cracking my right big toe: What?
Throwing darts (badly): Right hand
Gripping the end of a pool cue: Left hand  (so right hand is used as the rest/guide)

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu
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Nice display of left-handedness there Allan, with one exception:

4 minutes ago, Allan Jacobsen said:

Wiping: Left hand

Your left hand may be your dominant hand, but it doesn't mean it shouldn't delegate menial or unsavoury tasks to its lesser half. 

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu
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19 hours ago, Fullerene said:

In North America, most ice hockey players are left handed.
I wonder if that is true of other sports

A large proportion of hockey players who play left handed are actually right handed but play left so their dominant hand is at the top of the stick, apparently allowing for greater control. Quite how they manage to do anything else in this position is beyond me, however.

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Must have been 30 years since someone last asked me what hand I wipe my arse with, to which they respond with the "I use toilet paper" banter. Kudos Tam :)

In Muslim countries, it's considered very offensive to eat or shake hands with the left hand, as that is the hand that's used for wiping your arse etc. 

Which is why I've never visited a Muslim country. 

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