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Infuriating Things Your Partner Does


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Has just stormed off annoyed at me as I was watching the football highlights and listening to the punditry. She arrives and asks me to mute it whilst on loudspeaker on the phone despite being in another room previously. Quite why she thinks it’s acceptable to come through on loudspeaker and demand I mute something I was watching is quite beyond me, but no doubt it’ll be my fault somehow.

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Sitting, literally anywhere when we’re out. 
 

“I’m just going over to the *insert random place/shop/bog*  for half an hour. Watch my handbag which has my purse, phone, jewellery and lots of other personal items which if I lost would cause a great deal of anguish”

Tale your fucking handbag with you if it’s that important to you.

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Her: You can pick the film tonight as I decided last night.

Me : What about Wolf creek 2 - we enjoyed the original.

Her: I’m not in the mood for a horror.

Me: Okay, will watch a comedy then.

Her: No I feel bad it’s your choice put Wolf Creek 2 on.

Me: Okay then.

Then twenty minutes into the film she decided it was too violent for her and threw down an ultimatum to put something else on or she was going to bed and still has the cheek to be annoyed at me today for apparently making her go to bed early.

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25 minutes ago, throbber said:

Her: You can pick the film tonight as I decided last night.

Me : What about Wolf creek 2 - we enjoyed the original.

Her: I’m not in the mood for a horror.

Me: Okay, will watch a comedy then.

Her: No I feel bad it’s your choice put Wolf Creek 2 on.

Me: Okay then.

Then twenty minutes into the film she decided it was too violent for her and threw down an ultimatum to put something else on or she was going to bed and still has the cheek to be annoyed at me today for apparently making her go to bed early.

Good choice on the ultimatum. 

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Just now, Florentine_Pogen said:

Did you glean any tips on spousal corpse disposal ?

Not really - it was almost cartoon like violence though and the bad guy in it is such a hillbilly that I couldn’t help but find it funny. He shoots a police officer in the back of the head whilst he’s driving a car and his head is completely splattered and half off at the beginning of the film and he then goes on to cut a German backpackers head off in front of his girlfriend. It’s classic trashy horror for a Saturday night.

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Need to get around to watching the TV show sometime. I saw the first episode and it wasn't bad.

Just noticed that Mick Taylor was finally acquitted of rape IRL, and that the actor hails from a town called Wongawilli. You can always rely on the Aussies to come up with some tremendous names for settlements.

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Mrs Beans made some decent steaks the other night, after my first bite asks if I like it, I let her know its cooked just how I like it and very nice. Job done.

After every second mouthful she has to go "mmmhm" in a way which, as a mad shagger, I regularly make her do most nights*

At the end of the meal asks me again if I enjoyed it, I say of course I did, I told you. Apparently just saying I enjoyed the meal isnt enough and I need to make almost orgasmic noises after every mouthful like a simpleton. Why is me literally saying its good not enough?!

Her father does this as well, accompanied by a "braw" and it does my tits right in. When eating I should stress, no idea what noises he makes at night.

*hasn't done for many, many years and jealous a steak can.

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Has had about 3 things on her "to-do" list since March, and has done nothing about them.

Now because a couple of friends are coming round in less than 48 hours she's decided to tidy the already tidy parts of the house and try and do all of them at once, whilst also working from home.

The net result is that there is now more mess than before, and it's somehow my fault the new picture frame for the living room she bought has 3 more spaces than the old one, meaning there aren't enough pictures to fill it.

🙃

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Has had about 3 things on her "to-do" list since March, and has done nothing about them.
Now because a couple of friends are coming round in less than 48 hours she's decided to tidy the already tidy parts of the house and try and do all of them at once, whilst also working from home.
The net result is that there is now more mess than before, and it's somehow my fault the new picture frame for the living room she bought has 3 more spaces than the old one, meaning there aren't enough pictures to fill it.
[emoji854]

Presumably you could pull together a few graphs to fill the picture gaps. Easy fix for a man of your skill set.
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7 hours ago, Todd_is_God said:

Has had about 3 things on her "to-do" list since March, and has done nothing about them.

Now because a couple of friends are coming round in less than 48 hours she's decided to tidy the already tidy parts of the house and try and do all of them at once, whilst also working from home.

The net result is that there is now more mess than before, and it's somehow my fault the new picture frame for the living room she bought has 3 more spaces than the old one, meaning there aren't enough pictures to fill it.

🙃

A proper P&B wife would have them all filled with mugshots of serial killers.

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