Rugster Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 12 minutes ago, throbber said: Was driving last night when she was visiting her friend and we had finally got away and in the car for 9 pm, she then said she had forgot her bag and then ran inside and was still there 15 minutes later when I had to go in and retrieve her. I was raging. Have you proposed to her or impregnated her yet? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Have you proposed to her or impregnated her yet? Not yet but the year is still young. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 We have a communal wash room in the basement of the building, stores the washing machine and tumble drier. She refuses to take anything down as she is scared of the basement. Probably not helped by me saying it's not the basement that should scare you, it's the other folk who use it. I reckon the 4 flights of stairs might have more to do with it, either that or she is hinting that I am getting fat and making me take those stairs a few times a week are her small way of combating it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 1 hour ago, Ross. said: We have a communal wash room in the basement of the building, stores the washing machine and tumble drier. She refuses to take anything down as she is scared of the basement. Probably not helped by me saying it's not the basement that should scare you, it's the other folk who use it. I reckon the 4 flights of stairs might have more to do with it, either that or she is hinting that I am getting fat and making me take those stairs a few times a week are her small way of combating it. Next time you taking a basket of washing down on the top put a big bag of crisps, 4 bottles of beer and a tablet with a downloaded movie and just say you're away to do the washing and watch a movie, or better if the WIFI reaches the basement watch some football while the washing on. If she thinks you have found a sanctuary of peace she will soon make herself at home there, and you can leave her to bring up the washing when it finishes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 18 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said: Next time you taking a basket of washing down on the top put a big bag of crisps, 4 bottles of beer and a tablet with a downloaded movie and just say you're away to do the washing and watch a movie, or better if the WIFI reaches the basement watch some football while the washing on. If she thinks you have found a sanctuary of peace she will soon make herself at home there, and you can leave her to bring up the washing when it finishes. It would increase the chances of interacting with my neighbours. It's a bit of a trade off and I'm not sure which is worse. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 4 minutes ago, Ross. said: It would increase the chances of interacting with my neighbours. It's a bit of a trade off and I'm not sure which is worse. Do all of the above but wear only a vest and some soiled pants. Problem solved. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 1 minute ago, KnightswoodBear said: Do all of the above but wear only a vest and some soiled pants. Problem solved. Is there an optimal level of besoilment? And if that word didn't exist previously, I am claiming it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Just now, Ross. said: Is there an optimal level of besoilment? And if that word didn't exist previously, I am claiming it. I'd say quite obviously soiled, maybe a small splash of yellow at the front. Don't go too far and earn the nickname Shitty Jock though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawB93 Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I assume "breathe" and "occupies physical space" have been taken? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 1 minute ago, KnightswoodBear said: I'd say quite obviously soiled, maybe a small splash of yellow at the front. Don't go too far and earn the nickname Shitty Jock though. Scheisse Schott has more of a ring to it than Gelber Unterhosener. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoseMarooniho Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Agrees to me watching the football in the house then proceeds to take the opportunity to throw life questions at me as I watch it."Do you think we need to re-decorate the bedroom?""What colour wallpaper should we get?""Do you think we need a new bedside table?"f**k OFFI'm certain it's a plot to make me not want to watch football. Same here. Most annoying after I've sat in silence for an hour of her TV pish, Housewives of Shropshire or something 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 3 hours ago, Ross. said: We have a communal wash room in the basement of the building, stores the washing machine and tumble drier. She refuses to take anything down as she is scared of the basement. Probably not helped by me saying it's not the basement that should scare you, it's the other folk who use it. I reckon the 4 flights of stairs might have more to do with it, either that or she is hinting that I am getting fat and making me take those stairs a few times a week are her small way of combating it. You're punching above your weight pal. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 1 hour ago, Zen Archer said: You're punching above your weight pal. I'd suggest my missus is the one playing above her natural level as far as that goes. Not a great deal in it all the same. I'm most definitely a 7/10 and she is probably a 6.5. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 5 minutes ago, Ross. said: I'd suggest my missus is the one playing above her natural level as far as that goes. Not a great deal in it all the same. I'm most definitely a 7/10 and she is probably a 6.5. Did you work that into your wedding vows? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 20 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said: Did you work that into your wedding vows? Wedding? I'm still keeping my options open. It's only been 6 and a half years. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 20 minutes ago, Ross. said: Wedding? I'm still keeping my options open. It's only been 6 and a half years. Tell her the 6.5 story to keep her on her toes. Let her know she needs to up her game. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross. Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 3 minutes ago, Gaz FFC said: Tell her the 6.5 story to keep her on her toes. Let her know she needs to up her game. It's a complicated game. She knows my residency is due for renewal shortly. I might have no option but to take her off the market. So many variables. Whatever the case, she has seriously upped her exercise regime this year to the extent that I think she is trying to close that half point margin. As far as I'm aware she doesn't know anyone working for the Einwohnkontrolle, but if I don't get a pass with flying colours I'm going to have to start questioning the last few years of my life. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP_81 Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 When there's a game on that I genuinely have no interest in watching so I offer her the use of the TV for the whole night and she insists that there's nothing she wants to watch. She will sit there happily doing whatever else she is doing, nosing about on bookface no doubt but only untill about the 70th minute when I have become engrossed in aforementioned match that has turned out to be an end to end thriller right in the balance then start piping up about how I've hogged the TV all night when she has 17 episodes of some shite recorded that she wants to get thru! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 (edited) On that subject, our Sky box is constantly in danger of running out of space. This is a source of great consternation to my wife, but when I point out that the vast majority, and I mean 90% plus here, is all her shite, she'll desperately look through the planner looking for that one programme that I've taped in HD that is "taking up all the space". I remotely set it to tape one of the Transformers films in HD the other day and you'd think she'd found the Holy Grail because that on it's own took up 3%. edit: It's been watched and deleted already, like you're fucking supposed to. edit edit: See also, settling down to watch football or something only to be met with the "two shitey programmes are about to start taping" message. f**k the f**k off. Edited June 27, 2017 by KnightswoodBear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP_81 Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 edit edit: See also, settling down to watch football or something only to be met with the "two shitey programmes are about to start taping" message. f**k the f**k off. And it's always the wrong one you decide to stop recording! " oh why didn't you stop the other one, I'm not really interested in that one " " then why the f#@+ is it on BLOODY SERIES LINK!!! " 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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