Infuriating Things Your Partner Does

[Jimmy Shaker]

There's a cluster of light switches at the top of the stairs. Left to right, - landing light, shower, bathroom fan, bathroom light. Every time she gets up in the middle of the night or the gloom to go to the bathroom, she's to manically paw at all four like she's trying to work out the combination needed to get out of an escape room but has never seen light switches before.

We've lived in the house for seven and a half years. 

 

[RH33]

1 hour ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

There's a cluster of light switches at the top of the stairs. Left to right, - landing light, shower, bathroom fan, bathroom light. Every time she gets up in the middle of the night or the gloom to go to the bathroom, she's to manically paw at all four like she's trying to work out the combination needed to get out of an escape room but has never seen light switches before.

We've lived in the house for seven and a half years. 

 

Who puts light on to pee in middle night?!

[Jimmy Shaker]

10 minutes ago, RH33 said:

Who puts light on to pee in middle night?!

She walks into a room, she puts the light on. Every time. Night time, day time, doesn’t matter. 

[BTFD]

1 hour ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

She walks into a room, she puts the light on. Every time. Night time, day time, doesn’t matter. 

If you're asleep in bed at the time, there's not a jury in the land that would convict you.

[RH33]

6 hours ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

She walks into a room, she puts the light on. Every time. Night time, day time, doesn’t matter. 

On reflection the fan is worse for the noise and then in middle night the timed run after switch off seems like days.

[hk blues]

8 hours ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

There's a cluster of light switches at the top of the stairs. Left to right, - landing light, shower, bathroom fan, bathroom light. Every time she gets up in the middle of the night or the gloom to go to the bathroom, she's to manically paw at all four like she's trying to work out the combination needed to get out of an escape room but has never seen light switches before.

We've lived in the house for seven and a half years. 

 

To be honest, and fair, we have 2 banks of such at our front door, 3 switches on each.  We've been in our house for 8 years now and none of the 3 of us are proficient in getting them all right all the time.  The one we use every day is almost there but still suffers from frequent error.  Also, I was just about getting there when the sparky had to change the switches and, of course, didn't reconnect in the same order.  C**t. 

Anyway, why does she need a light on in the bathroom to have a pee (or a dump)?

[hk blues]

6 hours ago, Jimmy Shaker said:

She walks into a room, she puts the light on. Every time. Night time, day time, doesn’t matter. 

You've only yourself to blame.  Her mother did tell you she lights up every room she walks into.

[philpy]

She has a very annoying habit of leaving biscuit wrappers on the sofa rather than just putting them in the bin, which is about a fucking arm's length away.

[Jimmy Shaker]

2 minutes ago, philpy said:

She has a very annoying habit of leaving biscuit wrappers on the sofa rather than just putting them in the bin, which is about a fucking arm's length away.

Pth. Everyone knows small snack item wrappers put themselves in the bin. See also - empty crisp packets tied in bows or in triangles. 

[Hedgecutter]

14 hours ago, RH33 said:

Who puts light on to pee in middle night?!

I accidentally outed myself the other night when laughing at a Jim Jefferies* stand up when he said that a male sit-down-pee treat is acceptable at two times only: 1) when pished; 2) going for a whizz during the night when you can't be arsed turning the lights on.  Both instances restricted to one's own home.

 

*the Aussie one, not the Jambo

Edited December 10, 2022 by Hedgecutter

[Honest_Man#1]

10 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

I accidentally outed myself the other night when laughing at a Jim Jefferies* stand up when he said that a male sit-down-pee treat is acceptable at two times only: 1) when pished; 2) going for a whizz during the night when you can't be arsed turning the lights on.  Both instances restricted to one's own home.

 

*the Aussie one, not the Jambo

3) When incredibly hungover and standing up would result in projectile vomiting.

[BTFD]

Just remembered that I've got a double switch on the stairs, one of which controls the lights, the other of which does...well, who knows? I still occasionally hit the wrong one.

Been meaning to investigate for about fifteen years. Hopefully it's not a The Box situation and I've been murdering a complete stranger every time I flip it.

[TxRover]

15 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Just remembered that I've got a double switch on the stairs, one of which controls the lights, the other of which does...well, who knows? I still occasionally hit the wrong one.

Been meaning to investigate for about fifteen years. Hopefully it's not a The Box situation and I've been murdering a complete stranger every time I flip it.

Possibly a switched outlet? For some reason here in the colonies, they have occasional fetishes for putting one of the two outlets on the same wall plate on a switch…some shite about plugging in a lamp or such. Almost always the top outlet in the most used wallplate…and, yes, I learned about this by using said outlet for an alarm clock before switching both switches off and the bloody battery kept it lit up till I was asleep…sound asleep…asleep a long time…

[BTFD]

17 minutes ago, TxRover said:

Possibly a switched outlet? For some reason here in the colonies, they have occasional fetishes for putting one of the two outlets on the same wall plate on a switch…some shite about plugging in a lamp or such. Almost always the top outlet in the most used wallplate…and, yes, I learned about this by using said outlet for an alarm clock before switching both switches off and the bloody battery kept it lit up till I was asleep…sound asleep…asleep a long time…

Aye, that occurred to me, but I get the feeling that the sparky who fitted it just didn't have a spare single switch, so fitted a double instead.

If I ever remove the faceplate and discover two sets of cables, then we've officially got a mystery. There are no sockets near it, and I've never noticed any elsewhere stop working after I've tripped the dead switch by mistake.

[TxRover]

20 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Aye, that occurred to me, but I get the feeling that the sparky who fitted it just didn't have a spare single switch, so fitted a double instead.

If I ever remove the faceplate and discover two sets of cables, then we've officially got a mystery. There are no sockets near it, and I've never noticed any elsewhere stop working after I've tripped the dead switch by mistake.

One at the bottom of the stairs, perhaps?

[BTFD]

5 minutes ago, TxRover said:

One at the bottom of the stairs, perhaps?

Nope. I think the stairs were replaced at some point though, so it does make me wonder if there's a sad power socket boxed off from the world on the wall underneath.

[TxRover]

10 minutes ago, BFTD said:

Nope. I think the stairs were replaced at some point though, so it does make me wonder if there's a sad power socket boxed off from the world on the wall underneath.

Probably still live, and waiting to burn the house down.

[Busta Nut]

On 10/12/2022 at 13:03, Hedgecutter said:

I accidentally outed myself the other night when laughing at a Jim Jefferies* stand up when he said that a male sit-down-pee treat is acceptable at two times only: 1) when pished; 2) going for a whizz during the night when you can't be arsed turning the lights on.  Both instances restricted to one's own home.

 

*the Aussie one, not the Jambo

 

On 10/12/2022 at 13:14, Honest_Man#1 said:

3) When incredibly hungover and standing up would result in projectile vomiting.

 

All acceptable.

[hk blues]

On 10/12/2022 at 21:03, Hedgecutter said:

I accidentally outed myself the other night when laughing at a Jim Jefferies* stand up when he said that a male sit-down-pee treat is acceptable at two times only: 1) when pished; 2) going for a whizz during the night when you can't be arsed turning the lights on.  Both instances restricted to one's own home.

 

*the Aussie one, not the Jambo

Surely when taking a dump at the same time would be a 3rd? 

I have to admit I've been guilty of having a piss in the middle of the night and not putting on the light and then hearing the sound of pish hitting the lid as I've probably instinctively put it down pre-piss instead of post-piss as my son had likely left it up.  

 

 

[Blue Brazil Forever]

On 04/12/2021 at 22:52, The_Kincardine said:

You each have your own account and pay in to a common 'bills' account in proportion to your salary?  No?

We have two joint accounts.The first one is ours and the second one is hers.