Jacksgranda Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 18 minutes ago, Blue Brazil Forever said: We have two joint accounts.The first one is ours and the second one is hers. Sounds about right... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 (edited) 3 hours ago, hk blues said: Surely when taking a dump at the same time would be a 3rd? Nah, that's 'going for a dump' for which a pee is merely an accessory act, not 'going for a pee' per se. Edited December 13, 2022 by Hedgecutter 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParsJake Posted December 13, 2022 Share Posted December 13, 2022 On 09/12/2022 at 23:03, Jimmy Shaker said: She walks into a room, she puts the light on. Every time. Night time, day time, doesn’t matter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busta Nut Posted December 21, 2022 Share Posted December 21, 2022 She's going through a phase of leaving everything lying at her arse when she is in the kitchen then getting upset when I don't clean up after her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbaxters Posted December 22, 2022 Share Posted December 22, 2022 The world runs on Mrs JB time seemingly. If I'm ready first (almost always) I'm rushing her. If she's ready first (lunar eclipse or blue moons) then she's fed up waiting on me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 Once again, my house contains enough food to feed the 5000. Enough booze to sink a battleship. Christmas is only one friggin day!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted December 24, 2022 Share Posted December 24, 2022 54 minutes ago, supermik said: Enough booze to sink a battleship. Christmas is only one friggin day!!!! Better get the finger out then! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HK Hibee Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 Selfish bint never fills the kettle when she is making a cuppa 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 20 minutes ago, HK Hibee said: Selfish bint never fills the kettle when she is making a cuppa Are you saying she only boils enough water for her immediate needs ? If so, she is to be congratulated for her efficient use of energy. If you, on the other hand, are one of these feckers who boil 2 litres of water for a single cup of tea, you should be thrown into a pit full of wolverines. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 3 hours ago, Florentine_Pogen said: Are you saying she only boils enough water for her immediate needs ? If so, she is to be congratulated for her efficient use of energy. If you, on the other hand, are one of these feckers who boil 2 litres of water for a single cup of tea, you should be thrown into a pit full of wolverines. Some meddlesome ratbag (unidentified) at my old work used to put a "polite notice" by the kettle to ask people to refill it and boil it after using it. f**k making a cuppa with a multiply boiled jug of concentrated limescale and shortening my skive time. It got poured out, filled a little bit and emptied and not refilled. I binned the sign myself a couple of times and some passive aggressive colleague put up rival signs asking people not to fill and boil the kettle. I'm surpised more people don't go on machine gun rampages at work. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trackdaybob Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 Kettle's at work? f**k that, get an urn. A constant supply for all your tea/coffee needs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 Kettle's what? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 I was up earlyish on New Year's Day and thought I better get a batch of washing done. Got the clothes in and was halfway through putting in the powder when the bint barges me out of the way before taking all the clothes back out, all the while chuntering something about bad luck. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTFD Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 1 hour ago, coprolite said: Some meddlesome ratbag (unidentified) at my old work used to put a "polite notice" by the kettle to ask people to refill it and boil it after using it. f**k making a cuppa with a multiply boiled jug of concentrated limescale and shortening my skive time. It got poured out, filled a little bit and emptied and not refilled. I binned the sign myself a couple of times and some passive aggressive colleague put up rival signs asking people not to fill and boil the kettle. I'm surpised more people don't go on machine gun rampages at work. Unattributed message on the sign: "I stopped using the kettle after Jeff* took a shit in it during last year's Christmas party" Guaranteed enquiry and replacement kettle bought from Argos. * substitute for a random unpopular former colleague 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'WellDel Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 1 hour ago, Alert Mongoose said: I was up earlyish on New Year's Day and thought I better get a batch of washing done. Got the clothes in and was halfway through putting in the powder when the bint barges me out of the way before taking all the clothes back out, all the while chuntering something about bad luck. Daughter and her boyfriend stayed on Hogmanay, and she came away with this "it's bad luck to do washing on New Year's Day" nonsense when the wife was going to put one on. Never heard of it before in my life. Obviously utter bollocks made up at some point by some lazy barsteward with a Hogmanay hangover. The wife, to her credit, basically told her to stop talking pish and carried on regardless. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 3 hours ago, Trackdaybob said: Kettle's at work? f**k that, get an urn. A constant supply for all your tea/coffee needs. We don't all live in National Service time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTFD Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 2 hours ago, 'WellDel said: Daughter and her boyfriend stayed on Hogmanay, and she came away with this "it's bad luck to do washing on New Year's Day" nonsense when the wife was going to put one on. Never heard of it before in my life. Obviously utter bollocks made up at some point by some lazy barsteward with a Hogmanay hangover. The wife, to her credit, basically told her to stop talking pish and carried on regardless. Weirdly, that came up in conversation with my father this year when I mentioned that I had some washing to put on. I'd never heard it before either. He said his second wife used to say that it meant that you'd end up doing all the washing for the rest of the year. Maybe it's an English thing? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 4 hours ago, DA Baracus said: Kettle's what? At work! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted January 5 Share Posted January 5 19 minutes ago, BFTD said: Weirdly, that came up in conversation with my father this year when I mentioned that I had some washing to put on. I'd never heard it before either. He said his second wife used to say that it meant that you'd end up doing all the washing for the rest of the year. Maybe it's an English thing? I did some washing on New Year's Day and can confirm that I will indeed be doing all the washing for the rest of the year. Of course that's because I live alone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTFD Posted January 6 Share Posted January 6 1 hour ago, DA Baracus said: I did some washing on New Year's Day and can confirm that I will indeed be doing all the washing for the rest of the year. Of course that's because I live alone. I've never lived alone, but I've been doing the washing for twenty-three years. Come over and bring your skants, mate; you might as well take advantage too 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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