Work colleagues

[Fullerene]

23 minutes ago, Theroadlesstravelled said:

What work place doesn’t allow you to get up from your desk and get a coffee or tea whenever you want?

"Apollo 13, we have calculated the vector for safe re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere.  Just let me grab a coffee and then I will tell you what it is."

[TheScarf]

38 minutes ago, Theroadlesstravelled said:

What work place doesn’t allow you to get up from your desk and get a coffee or tea whenever you want?

 

I worked in an office 4 or 5 years back where the office supervisor saw me getting up to make a coffee about half 9 one morning and asked if I was on a break.

'No I'm getting a coffee'.  

'But it's not elevenses (whatever the f**k that means) yet'

'Aye I know it's half 9 and I'm getting a coffee, we have a lunch hour that we can take basically whenever we want, so we can get a cuppa whenever we want'.

Why do some office supervisors/Gareth Keenan's think they work in a factory line where a big fucking hooter goes off when it's lunchtime or the end of the shift?

 

[TheScarf]

33 minutes ago, beesher said:

Call centres. 

They're different from normal office work environments by their very nature.

[scottsdad]

45 minutes ago, Theroadlesstravelled said:

What work place doesn’t allow you to get up from your desk and get a coffee or tea whenever you want?

 

"I have dissected the aorta and am ready to proceed with the graft. But I am spitting feathers here. Back in 15 everyone." 

[BFTD]

54 minutes ago, Theroadlesstravelled said:

What work place doesn’t allow you to get up from your desk and get a coffee or tea whenever you want?

"Welcome to today's meeting of Caffeine Addicts Anonymous - we have some new members who'd like to introduce themselves, but first, can I interest anyone in an espresso?"

Seriously though, it amazes me how many people seem completely unaware of the conditions that millions of people are working under. Some folk get laid off for taking a pish during work hours, never mind having a drink. That'll become more common in the coming years.

[thistledo]

When I was a lot younger I used to work in IT job for a managed service provider, they had such fine margins, barely had the correct headcount for service desks so if you went for a piss the team leader would be giving you a look like what are you playing at. It was horrible, even lunches were so rigid, down to the minute. The sane team lead was absolutely furious one morning because I was "on a call too long" as missed another one and that we'd fail SLA for the day now, was a joke. 

Now I can get up and bugger off out for a walk during the day for 15-20 mins without any hassle. Which is nice. 

[TheScarf]

Aye call centres are more like production lines than your usual office environment.  They aren't really 'office jobs', having worked in both call centres and your traditional office.

[GordonD]

6 minutes ago, thistledo said:

even lunches were so rigid, down to the minute

By which I assume you mean they gave you a bollocking if you were a minute or two late coming back. But you'd also get a bollocking if you hung up on a customer because it was time for your break. 

[ICTChris]

I worked in a job in a call centre after leaving Uni but I wasn't on the phones, I did back office analysis sort of stuff.  If we were missing our SLAs one of the managers would just make loads of calls directly to an agent from his personal phone, all would be answered in 0.1s and it would get the average wait time down to below SLA.  A good early career lesson in the benefits of defrauding your customers, who were all huge companies and some government departments and never queried our numbers.

[scottsdad]

3 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

I worked in a job in a call centre after leaving Uni but I wasn't on the phones, 

Now we know whose job included holding a huge stopwatch, and clocking how long the worker bees were away pishing/eating/drinking coffee.

[ICTChris]

Just now, scottsdad said:

Now we know whose job included holding a huge stopwatch, and clocking how long the worker bees were away pishing/eating/drinking coffee.

It was nowhere near as exciting as that.

[Sergeant Wilson]

I hope you've enjoyed your flight. I'm sticking this thing on autopilot for 15 minutes while I have a coffee. If you look to the right you'll see Wembley, don't worry if you miss it the first time.

[UsedToGoToCentralPark]

I worked in a job in a call centre after leaving Uni but I wasn't on the phones, I did back office analysis sort of stuff.  If we were missing our SLAs one of the managers would just make loads of calls directly to an agent from his personal phone, all would be answered in 0.1s and it would get the average wait time down to below SLA.  A good early career lesson in the benefits of defrauding your customers, who were all huge companies and some government departments and never queried our numbers.

I've worked in contact centres, that happens in them all.

[Bairnardo]

Much as all these jokes are top notch, and they really are, surely its understood that if you are busy.on a task that cant just be put down, you swallow that and get on with it, but equally if you are not then can go and make a cup of tea?

As a functioning adult, I honestly dont think I could handle being in an enviroment where somecunt thought they could tell me not to go and make myself a drink at a time I felt was appropriate.

Im fortunate that the job iv always done allows for this so iv never had to deal with these little Hitler sorts, but I dont think I could handle it.

[scottsdad]

1 minute ago, Bairnardo said:

Much as all these jokes are top notch, and they really are, surely its understood that if you are busy.on a task that cant just be put down, you swallow that and get on with it, but equally if you are not then can go and make a cup of tea?

As a functioning adult, I honestly dont think I could handle being in an enviroment where somecunt thought they could tell me not to go and make myself a drink at a time I felt was appropriate.

Im fortunate that the job iv always done allows for this so iv never had to deal with these little Hitler sorts, but I dont think I could handle it.

On a serious note, the only job I ever had where I had to ask permission to go to the toilet was when I worked on the checkouts at a supermarket. I can understand the logic a bit there - imagine a customer unloading a massive trolley load onto the belt and having me stand up and walk away whistling a tune, promising to be back soon if all went well. 

There was a pregnant girl though who did the same job. I remember a supervisor getting annoyed with her "You need to go again?" - clearly not understanding that foetuses are just wee b*****ds who like to play with bladders. 

At the same shop, a friend of mine would be on his break, clutching his stomach in agony, as he refused to take a shite in his own time. Only when he was working did he ask to go to the bog. 

[Flybhoy]

When I was an apprentice, the boy who was the year above me had particularly appalling personal hygiene, if you were in the van with him the stench of body odour and roll ups was boak inducing, several people at the work pulled him up for it but he genuinely didn't seem bothered and each day he was as reeking as the last. 

One day some of the senior tradesmen grabbed him one lunchtime, tied his wrists and ankles to the van roof rack with tie wraps and drove him through the car wash 

 

Bear in mind this was the mid 1990's when workplace pranks were laughed off as exactly that, these days not only would the guys involved get the sack but quite possibly face police charges as well for such a thing. 

[Adam]

On a serious note, the only job I ever had where I had to ask permission to go to the toilet was when I worked on the checkouts at a supermarket. I can understand the logic a bit there - imagine a customer unloading a massive trolley load onto the belt and having me stand up and walk away whistling a tune, promising to be back soon if all went well. 
There was a pregnant girl though who did the same job. I remember a supervisor getting annoyed with her "You need to go again?" - clearly not understanding that foetuses are just wee b*****ds who like to play with bladders. 
At the same shop, a friend of mine would be on his break, clutching his stomach in agony, as he refused to take a shite in his own time. Only when he was working did he ask to go to the bog. 

He’s absolutely bang on. Different now WFH but I’d be nearly touching cloth with 10 mins left of my lunch in the canteen, but I’ll be fucked if I’m going for a dump on my own time.

[Guest]

There is 2 guys in particular at my work who come in and pretty much race each other to go for a shite every day, pretty sure they don't shite in their own house absolute rancid behaviour.

[Honest_Man#1]

5 minutes ago, Empty It said:

There is 2 guys in particular at my work who come in and pretty much race each other to go for a shite every day, pretty sure they don't shite in their own house absolute rancid behaviour.

Unsure what the rancid behaviour bit is in reference to? Unless you’re one of those weirdo types who will only shit in their own house.

[velo army]

The kettle chat (the word is "eti-kettle" @Melanius Mullarkay) reminds me of a couple of things.

1. My brother, when making a cuppa for us both, fills the kettle to the brim as if he's making for all the neighbours too. I'm the daftie though as I casually suggest (every fucking time like I haven't known him for almost 40 years) he fills the kettle as it's invariably empty when he goes to make it. Why am I the dafty? My brother is autistic so takes me literally. 

2. Working at a hectically busy restaurant it was always a massive ball-ache when someone ordered coffee, especially on a heaving Saturday night. Making hot chocolate was a piece of piss though. Heat milk, add to chocolate powder. Dawdle. Cue a barely concealed heid's gone from me when I find that one of my colleagues has decided to steam the milk in the jug with the chocolate added, and then left it next to the machine, all chocolate and manky (as well as the steaming nozzle from the machine) as I step up to make my 4 lattes. Murder.