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3 hours ago, SomersetBairn said:

This is about my level of Excel usage. Though I did think outside the box, used my basic Excel knowledge to complete an XML table, with thousands of entries, in around two hours. It had been estimated that the work would take at least a week, so when I did it that quick, they thought I was the mutts nuts.

Been make a living off that 'wizardry' for the last four years.

Never, ever, let on how long this kind of thing takes; the key is to get the work done, but as you're debugging save a copy before fixing each bug. That way you can release them over a week or two, buying plenty of skiving time.

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1 hour ago, coprolite said:

I send "hi" because on normal email programs the return key starts a new line and doesn't just send the first one. 

I will generally send the rest of the message though, but it might be a minute or two. 

That moment of terror when you can't remember if <ENTER> adds a carriage return or sends the message on the platform you're using  :shutup

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3 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Not the biggest news ever, but David (aka The Prof) has started his phased retirement. From February he will be working just 3 days a week.

Then, a year later, 2 days...then 1...then no longer a P& B favourite

Basically he is pissed off. When he came to us the management promised him loads of stuff, not least that he would be leading a team that, he later found, doesn't exist. He was saddled with terrible students, in huge numbers. He lives in Manchester but bought a flat here to stay in a couple of nights a week. The commute is getting to him, and he could sell the flat and make a few bob.

Just had enough.

How much do you think you'll get for your flat? 

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6 hours ago, scottsdad said:

What's the opposite of 👀✍️?

💩🥫?

Heard the final disposition on a bloke I worked with who got into a wee bit of difficultly about the time I retired. Seemed he was working the overnight shift, and got the last break...hopped into his automobile and hot-footed it over to a hotel where he was supposedly meeting a 14-year old...

So working as job where a conviction for such erases all benefits...doing it while on the clock...getting caught by the FBI, who had helped process his security clearance three months before (make me wonder if something didn't stick out, so to speak, on that)...then I stupid enough to expect to be able to report to work three days later after getting out on bond. His picture was posted with a "DO NOT ALLOW ENTRY" at the guard shack, but they decided to put him on administrative leave rather than canning him until he was convicted 14 months later. His appeals have been exhausted, as has his "luck". Based upon reports, he won't be doing easy time, thankfully. I do however feel very sorry for his wife and young kid, who had no knowledge.

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10 hours ago, coprolite said:

I send "hi" because on normal email programs the return key starts a new line and doesn't just send the first one. 

I will generally send the rest of the message though, but it might be a minute or two. 

Not sure how many messaging platforms it works on but Slack lets you start a new line but pressing Ctrl+Enter. Not sure if Teams or other equivalents do the same 

Edited by Central Belt Caley
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11 hours ago, mathematics said:

Bane of my life as I’ll forget every time, EVERY FUCKING TIME, that the lookup data needs to be in alphabetical order.

 

Try an XLOOKUP? I got shown a sheet with several hundred entries needing processed regularly and was shown how to do it (literally one by one, for every entry, and check every 20 or so entries that the numbers were adding up) which would be a tedious, lingering death of a way to do it.

Played about with the sheet and discovered the XLOOKUP function; tends to be theres a handful of entries that cant be found and need a little bit of digging & one or two other minor issues I just manually update, but just using that does about 90% of the work. Cut down a 4/5 hour job to about half that.

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12 hours ago, coprolite said:

I send "hi" because on normal email programs the return key starts a new line and doesn't just send the first one. 

I will generally send the rest of the message though, but it might be a minute or two. 

shift + enter solves that problem, no?

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14 hours ago, scottsdad said:

Not the biggest news ever, but David (aka The Prof) has started his phased retirement. From February he will be working just 3 days a week.

Then, a year later, 2 days...then 1...then no longer a P& B favourite

Basically he is pissed off. When he came to us the management promised him loads of stuff, not least that he would be leading a team that, he later found, doesn't exist. He was saddled with terrible students, in huge numbers. He lives in Manchester but bought a flat here to stay in a couple of nights a week. The commute is getting to him, and he could sell the flat and make a few bob.

Just had enough.

That must be the most feeble protest ever. If he was that pissed off, tell them where to stick their fucking job and stamp out. Don't even slam the doors, leave them all open.

That's what I did, and within 20 years that office was shut!

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  • 4 weeks later...

The latest trend at my work is for people to use the word "wonderful" all the time like: them-"can you send me that spreadsheet", me- "sure, here it is", them "wonderful, thanks" 

I'm not quite sure if they're somehow taking the piss and it's going over my head. 

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On 11/07/2024 at 13:13, coprolite said:

The latest trend at my work is for people to use the word "wonderful" all the time like: them-"can you send me that spreadsheet", me- "sure, here it is", them "wonderful, thanks" 

I'm not quite sure if they're somehow taking the piss and it's going over my head. 

wonderful-louis-balfour.gif.9384897bdc569fce709e7e9816237540.gif

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On 11/07/2024 at 13:13, coprolite said:

The latest trend at my work is for people to use the word "wonderful" all the time like: them-"can you send me that spreadsheet", me- "sure, here it is", them "wonderful, thanks" 

I'm not quite sure if they're somehow taking the piss and it's going over my head. 

You might be getting emails from me? I don't tend to use "wonderful" but I'll always thank someone for sending me something I've asked for. As someone who sends out a lot of report/spreadsheets on request I know how annoying it can be if the person who asked for it doesn't bother their arse to even acknowledge receipt. Basic manners imho.

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On 11/07/2024 at 13:13, coprolite said:

The latest trend at my work is for people to use the word "wonderful" all the time like: them-"can you send me that spreadsheet", me- "sure, here it is", them "wonderful, thanks" 

I'm not quite sure if they're somehow taking the piss and it's going over my head. 

I do stuff like this tbf and see how long it takes other people to copy my vocabulary. Was using the word ‘splendid’ for a bit and took a month or two but other people started using it too 

Keeps me entertained if nothing else 

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18 hours ago, Swarley said:

You might be getting emails from me? I don't tend to use "wonderful" but I'll always thank someone for sending me something I've asked for. As someone who sends out a lot of report/spreadsheets on request I know how annoying it can be if the person who asked for it doesn't bother their arse to even acknowledge receipt. Basic manners imho.

Thanks for responding, i appreciate it. The "thanks" isn't the bit that's weirding me out (and i agree with you) - it's the "wonderful" 

9 hours ago, Central Belt Caley said:

I do stuff like this tbf and see how long it takes other people to copy my vocabulary. Was using the word ‘splendid’ for a bit and took a month or two but other people started using it too 

Keeps me entertained if nothing else 

Fandabbidozi

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Office Karen:  10 paragraph email on the importance of emailing her a monthly updated by the 10th of the month. with boss cc'd in.

Me:  forwards email I sent to Office Karen on the 8th of July with the monthly update, with boss cc'd in.

Is there a better feeling that issuing a telt to the Office Karen on a Monday morning?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Guy a work who’s in a made up middle management job just found out yesterday that his position is being made redundant. This comes as a surprise to nobody as the position didn’t exist a couple of years ago and we managed perfectly fine without it. Anyway, he chairs the end of day multi-department teams call and this is when he decided to tell us all his sad news whilst fighting back the tears. He hadn’t even finished his teary farewell when several people on the call started openly discussing and jokingly arguing over who would be taking his office. 

The guy losing his job is a complete knob who likes to talk about how much cash he’s got and the several properties he owns, so I couldn’t help but see the funny side of it.
 

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Got a new job recently and there’s this girl who adores telling me (and everyone else) what to do in a really rude way, she would even tell me to do stuff as I was literally in the middle of doing it. I’m at worst adequate at the job and transferred from another place in the company where I was doing the exact same thing. At first I thought she was a supervisor or some kind of manager because why else would she be like that? Turns out she’s the same level as me and just enjoys telling people what to do while floating about herself doing nothing. 

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