mizfit Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I’ve just watched someone in my office put a whole chicken breast in there mouth and swallow it. I’m half expecting someone’s gonna need to deliver the Heinrich manoeuvre soon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugster Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 3 minutes ago, mizfit said: I’m half expecting someone’s gonna need to deliver the Heinrich manoeuvre soon. Do a bit of goose stepping? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 3 minutes ago, mizfit said: I’m half expecting someone’s gonna need to deliver the Heinrich manoeuvre soon. Hopefully after that, someone will perform the Heimlich manouvere. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 14 minutes ago, mizfit said: I’ve just watched someone in my office put a whole chicken breast in there mouth and swallow it. I’m half expecting someone’s gonna need to deliver the Heinrich manoeuvre soon. 11 minutes ago, Rugster said: Do a bit of goose stepping? No, he reaches down your throat and pulls it out, like this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 17 minutes ago, mizfit said: I’ve just watched someone in my office put a whole chicken breast in there mouth and swallow it. I’m half expecting someone’s gonna need to deliver the Heinrich manoeuvre soon. Did you order it on Prime? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 I was invited to a meeting just after lunch, and was told "It'll be an hour long and you won't need to contribute anything, but it might be useful for you to sit in. Up to you if you come or not." It was a glorious hour of daydreaming and ignoring whatever my colleagues and clients were talking about. I drew stick figures in my notepad occasionally to look like I was paying attention. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 People who arrive at work early and take all the car park spaces. People who arrive at work later and moan about having nowhere to park.We might work in the same place! Parking here is a joke. Doesn’t bother me tbh. I don’t drive and get a lift the estimated mile journey from house from someone with a dedicated space. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Never worked in an office. I just remember seeing it happen a lot when I was doing maintenance work. Since I retired I seemed to spend all my time falling asleep in front of the telly as I was bored oot ma tits. Time to get back on the saddle again me thinks! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Never worked in an office. I just remember seeing it happen a lot when I was doing maintenance work. Since I retired I seemed to spend all my time falling asleep in front of the telly as I was bored oot ma tits. Time to get back on the saddle again me thinks!Nobody ‘works’ in an office. We just come to the office, f**k about then go home. Beats sleeping in front of homes under the hammer, but only just. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 4 hours ago, nsr said: I was invited to a meeting just after lunch, and was told "It'll be an hour long and you won't need to contribute anything, but it might be useful for you to sit in. Up to you if you come or not." It was a glorious hour of daydreaming and ignoring whatever my colleagues and clients were talking about. I drew stick figures in my notepad occasionally to look like I was paying attention. Doing it wrong. Those sort of meetings are for imagining what the wids at your work look like in the scuddy, and occasionally imagining what it would be like to shag them. Even better if there are wids in the meeting. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Doing it wrong. Those sort of meetings are for imagining what the wids at your work look like in the scuddy, and occasionally imagining what it would be like to shag them. Even better if there are wids in the meeting.It's a software company. Does that answer your question? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 1 minute ago, nsr said: 3 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said: Doing it wrong. Those sort of meetings are for imagining what the wids at your work look like in the scuddy, and occasionally imagining what it would be like to shag them. Even better if there are wids in the meeting. It's a software company. Does that answer your question? Not soft any more, eh? EH? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Just came out of a meeting with 4 colleagues. Now one of the colleagues has knocked at my door and asked if we could have a meeting about the meeting. Arsehole. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Just came out of a meeting with 4 colleagues. Now one of the colleagues has knocked at my door and asked if we could have a meeting about the meeting. Arsehole.Imagine coming on to a football forum to pretend you have an office with a door....Fucking hell man 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Just came out of a meeting with 4 colleagues. Now one of the colleagues has knocked at my door and asked if we could have a meeting about the meeting. Arsehole. 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: Imagine coming on to a football forum to pretend you have an office with a door.... Fucking hell man He didn't say it was his office. I assumed he was talking about a toilet cubicle. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 It's always the same self absorbed twat who just waffles about shite at meetings. Then their gimpy wee pals just nod at everything or laugh. No agenda no minutes no actions. It's stealing money from the company you lazy b*****ds. Some people at my work are never out of them but nothing comes of it. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Ok, so tomorrow there is a works evening out (im on annual leave currently) for one of the guys who’s emigrating. He’s a decent enough guy but my issue is im the only boss down to go (the others have excuses) and being new to the office I dont really know any of them, I dont drink (have to drive anyway) and don’t want them thinking im there to take notes etc. I was thinking about going buying them a round and leaving after an hour or so. Do you all think this is alright? That way I show face, get a round in and leave them to get on with it. Or should I just not bother going? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Kincardine Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 10 minutes ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said: Ok, so tomorrow there is a works evening out (im on annual leave currently) for one of the guys who’s emigrating. He’s a decent enough guy but my issue is im the only boss down to go (the others have excuses) and being new to the office I dont really know any of them, I dont drink (have to drive anyway) and don’t want them thinking im there to take notes etc. I was thinking about going buying them a round and leaving after an hour or so. Do you all think this is alright? That way I show face, get a round in and leave them to get on with it. Or should I just not bother going? Chap on the door of the c**t pretending he has an office earlier to have a meeting about it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 Chap on the door of the c**t pretending he has an office earlier to have a meeting about it.I might have known i’d get grief from you when I mentioned not drinking. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted January 16, 2019 Share Posted January 16, 2019 6 hours ago, Bairnardo said: Imagine coming on to a football forum to pretend you have an office with a door.... Fucking hell man I have many, many doors. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.