Work colleagues

[Senor Bairn]

Classic fat person salad that, half a pack of wafer thin ham and loads of cheese mixed in with some greens with a few Rivita's on the side.
Guy who's in my team is a big unit, he was on a salad diet for a bit, I sat with him one lunch, he had a big tub, whipped it open and I was impressed with how healthy it looked until he cracked open a sauce to put on it then proceeded to devour a packet of crisps and a mars bar, can't argue, at least he's trying!

100%. She’ll also devour a 2 litre bottle of diet lemonade on a shift. It’s okay though cause it’s diet.

[Senor Bairn]

Hate to say it (or actually, not that bothered since I don't have to work with her) but fish odour syndrome is a genuine ailment ...
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/trimethylaminuria/

Quite sad to find that out. It doesn’t help anyone but, especially me.

[ICTChris]

One of the complete weirdos I worked with in Inverness absolutely reeked.

ETA - Post from the P&B Gold thread

He also had the worst personal hygiene I've been exposed to. He stank of filth - sometimes it was like shit, sometimes like piss, sometimes musty. He didn't wash his clothes properly and once insisted that the brown mark on his white shirt was a design (he emailed this to our team of 20 odd people). He just reeked, it was indesribably awful, boke inducing. He smelled like the girls in FF's favourite Nightshift video. He had weird greasy hair an dyellow teeth.

Edited February 5, 2019 by ICTChris

[ah-dee]

Had this at my work last year. This big girl who moved into our team about 6 months beforehand and was completely fine, all of a sudden one day absolutely reeked of fish (aye it was coming from down south) which stayed for months. She’s got severe anxiety or something which is why she was moved into our team in the first place. It got so bad that one day I walked down the canteen which is separated to our office by a hallway, and I could tell that she had been there. Complaints from the boss were taken however nothing was done for about 9 months. 9 months of coming in to do a shift and smelling fishy fanny. If it was one of my colleagues I was closer to I would obviously have just told them, however I think if anyone had actually said to her she’d have burst out into tears in the middle of an office full of hundreds of people.

After finally being told off for it, it went away for a good while but it’s been coming back. To be continued.

Fishy wid.

shes obviously aware of it so surely should be trying something different. hand a magic tree on her clit or something

[Dee Man]

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Imagine having to explain that gap in your CV. 

Surely you would just change the dates of other employment to fill the gap? I was under the impression that most CV's were works of fiction. Except mine of course. 

[Miguel Sanchez]

The resident fantasist in my work was yesterday critical of the legal reaction to this story: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-47094707

[Hillonearth]

6 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

7 hours ago, The Moonster said:

I'd say that describes him (I'll stop short of deeming all Indians the same). He recently said he would be dusting off his CV as "there was no opportunity of promotion" in here which was met with derisory laughter throughout the office.

I'm sure the majority of Indians are hard working but the ones I've dealt with are devious lazy sycophants who seem to get away with murder.

 

[DA Baracus]

2 hours ago, Dee Man said:

Surely you would just change the dates of other employment to fill the gap? I was under the impression that most CV's were works of fiction. Except mine of course. 

All manner of lies can be used as well. Travelling, caring for an ill relative, witness protection, helping build a school for kids who can't read good and want to learn to do other stuff good too, kidnapped by a cult, trying to recover the Holy Grail etc 

[Dee Man]

5 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

All manner of lies can be used as well. Travelling, caring for an ill relative, witness protection, helping build a school for kids who can't read good and want to learn to do other stuff good too, kidnapped by a cult, trying to recover the Holy Grail etc 

Have you been reading my CV?

[DA Baracus]

21 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

Have you been reading my CV?

Yes, and call me sir

[BFTD]

Without wanting to go into too much detail in case the fucker posts on here, is reeking of BO and pish grounds for refusing service to a customer?

I'm talking about such an overpoweringly terrible stench that other customers will leave the shop when he walks in.

[Mark Connolly]

25 minutes ago, Dee Man said:

Have you been reading my CV?

The Holy Grail thing can't be you. That sort of thing is only worked on by TOP men.

[welshbairn]

3 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Without wanting to go into too much detail in case the fucker posts on here, is reeking of BO and pish grounds for refusing service to a customer?

I'm talking about such an overpoweringly terrible stench that other customers will leave the shop when he walks in.

Yes. Have a wash or shop elsewhere.

[Sergeant Wilson]

5 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

6 hours ago, mizfit said:

Boy in my work messaged my manager to say I’m incompetent and should either be retrained or sacked.

Apparently he’s got previous of doing this to others. Not sure if I should issue a pie booting or wait until he makes a mistake and call him out.

Tell everyone in the office about it. He will look like a dick and nobody will trust him.

They'll have put him up to it. Mizfit is toast.

[TheScarf]

25 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Without wanting to go into too much detail in case the fucker posts on here, is reeking of BO and pish grounds for refusing service to a customer?

I'm talking about such an overpoweringly terrible stench that other customers will leave the shop when he walks in.

That's an easy one.  Tell the smelly fucker to get fucked out of the shop.  It's much harder and probably sensitive when it's someone you're actually the manager of.  Some random customer can get telt.

Also before someone else does - 

'It's much harder and probably sensitive'

[ICTChris]

I don’t know how some people can smell so bad. I mean we all reek a bit if you’ve been sweating or haven’t showered but to constantly stink of shit? How does this happen?

I once worked with a guy who often smelled a bit off and he claimed it was because he couldn’t dry his clothes properly so they went musty. He said his flat was too small. I mean, I managed to dry my clothes when I lived in one room at Uni, how hard is it?

[philpy]

Had this at my work last year. This big girl who moved into our team about 6 months beforehand and was completely fine, all of a sudden one day absolutely reeked of fish (aye it was coming from down south) which stayed for months. She’s got severe anxiety or something which is why she was moved into our team in the first place. It got so bad that one day I walked down the canteen which is separated to our office by a hallway, and I could tell that she had been there. Complaints from the boss were taken however nothing was done for about 9 months. 9 months of coming in to do a shift and smelling fishy fanny. If it was one of my colleagues I was closer to I would obviously have just told them, however I think if anyone had actually said to her she’d have burst out into tears in the middle of an office full of hundreds of people.

After finally being told off for it, it went away for a good while but it’s been coming back. To be continued.

After reading the first paragraph, I stopped eating my fishcakes. Cheers.

[alta-pete]

I'm sure the majority of Indians are hard working but the ones I've dealt with are devious lazy sycophants who seem to get away with murder.

Electricians?

[Ranaldo Bairn]

I recall a corner shop in tbe village i used to live in, which was run by an old couple.
The poor old boy was 99 per cent blind, and popped off one day in the bath. His wife was opening the shop a couple of days later. "Aye ah just fund him in the bath like" she opined with a shrug.
Anyway, a year or two before this, she was struck by ulcers on her legs. You'd walk in the shop and have to concentrate so hard on not vomiting copiously, such was the stench.
The miasma was so bad I foolishly bought a pack of rolls, sealed in plastic. Got them home, opened them up, and NOPE, the smell had infected them too. Straight in the bin. It stuck to your clothes, I remember that now. Had to stay away for a couple of weeks.

[philpy]

I recall a corner shop in tbe village i used to live in, which was run by an old couple.
The poor old boy was 99 per cent blind, and popped off one day in the bath. His wife was opening the shop a couple of days later. "Aye ah just fund him in the bath like" she opined with a shrug.
Anyway, a year or two before this, she was struck by ulcers on her legs. You'd walk in the shop and have to concentrate so hard on not vomiting copiously, such was the stench.
The miasma was so bad I foolishly bought a pack of rolls, sealed in plastic. Got them home, opened them up, and NOPE, the smell had infected them too. Straight in the bin. It stuck to your clothes, I remember that now. Had to stay away for a couple of weeks.

??