Work colleagues

[jamieson87]

On 30/03/2019 at 07:28, Crawford Bridge said:

Can you guess which donation was made by the annoying, nosey, sanctimonious, attention seeking boot at my work?

Thank goodness I only have to put up with her once a fortnight. My thoughts & prayers go out to those who have to work 40 hours per week with the pyscho.

 

 

Not a Heart of Midlothian fan, is she?

[John MacLean]

On 01/04/2019 at 19:15, Dele said:

I find this pretty mental. 

"Your brothers deid? Here's five pounds." 

I got flowers sent to the house after my mother's death. I got a strange look when I said on my return; "thanks, but I'd rather have had pizza and beer". 

I was joking, of course, and it was a nice thing to do but flowers were a bit wasted on me. A fiver I could have spent.

[Jason King]

1 hour ago, John MacLean said:

I got flowers sent to the house after my mother's death. I got a strange look when I said on my return; "thanks, but I'd rather have had pizza and beer". 

I was joking, of course, and it was a nice thing to do but flowers were a bit wasted on me. A fiver I could have spent.

They cant think that much of you if they only spent a fiver

[UsedToGoToCentralPark]

Heres another one for you…

Again my old department.   Essentially the team I looked after were support/admin for a large salesteam.  The sales guys are out on patch trying to win orders and hit their targets.  As the salesguys have pretty heavy targets they also get some pretty sweet rewards, commission, company paid holidays etc 

 

The team I managed were based in an office dealing with After Sales customer enquiries but on a salary only.

 

This as you can imagine riles up the office team who feel they also do a good job and deserve an extra reward.  At every appraisal I did with them they would moan about not getting ‘perks’.  I’d remind them that they did not have targets or the risk of working in sales where guys are given the sack regularly for not hitting targets. Also if people want to do that type of work they should apply instead of working in admin. 

 

However a couple of girls in the office were going great guns all the time about not getting any rewards so eventually I took the request to one of my managers meetings with our Directors and suggested it might help morale to give them something and after a particularly good year a few years ago there was some money in the budget to be used as a reward.

 

I think due to taxes and maybe terms of employment the team weren’t allowed to be just given money in their wages as reward.   However, and this is where it got interesting.  The Director responsible for my department sent an email out saying “in light of a great year, please keep this date free for a day trip”.     However the day of this trip was to be a Saturday as we couldn’t do it in work time.  No one was told what the trip was, just to keep the day free and to let him know if they could attend.   Now I’m not one for any works events during my own time.  However, we were given plenty of notice and it was intriguing so I was up for it.   I was sure booze would be involved with it being a Saturday so decided I’d give it a go.

 

The other two girls who had done the lions share of the moaning quickly dismissed it and said they weren’t giving up their weekend(they didn’t have kids either) to do something work related.  Leading upto the event there was rumours of what it would be and these two cows kept laughing at everyone else and making snide comments about doing something crap like going bowling or paintballing.  At any opportunity they would say things to the rest of the team like “can’t believe you are going to spend free time at work”.  When they were corrected that it wasn’t actually “work” they would respond with “well it might as well be”.

 

The day before it at work we were told to meet at the Train Station early the following morning so it immediately took a more interesting turn.  You could also see the two that had decided not to go were already regretting their decision and started asking lots of questions as if we knew what it was. “remember text us as soon as you know”…

 

So the few of us who decided to go met at the station the next day. Turns out we got first class train tickets to London. Met the Director who got us p*ssed in a few pubs. He then took us for lunch up the Shard(oh yes Kenneth!) for a slap up meal in a private room.  Everyone was then given £250 gift vouchers.   Few pubs after it and then back on the train and home for 6pm(I should say I live in Leicester). Turned out to be a great day out.

 

Monday morning back at work, everyone who had gone was buzzing and the two who hadn’t gone were visibly livid.  The only let down was they were give then £250 vouchers as well which I think they had been raging about since the Saturday as they had been texted to say we’d all got them.

Brilliant, I thought the ending was going to be people trying to claim OT for it as well.

[fuzzydunlop]

20 hours ago, UsedToGoToCentralPark said:

On ‎02‎/‎04‎/‎2019 at 14:54, fuzzydunlop said:

Heres another one for you…

Again my old department.   Essentially the team I looked after were support/admin for a large salesteam.  The sales guys are out on patch trying to win orders and hit their targets.  As the salesguys have pretty heavy targets they also get some pretty sweet rewards, commission, company paid holidays etc 

 

The team I managed were based in an office dealing with After Sales customer enquiries but on a salary only.

 

This as you can imagine riles up the office team who feel they also do a good job and deserve an extra reward.  At every appraisal I did with them they would moan about not getting ‘perks’.  I’d remind them that they did not have targets or the risk of working in sales where guys are given the sack regularly for not hitting targets. Also if people want to do that type of work they should apply instead of working in admin. 

 

However a couple of girls in the office were going great guns all the time about not getting any rewards so eventually I took the request to one of my managers meetings with our Directors and suggested it might help morale to give them something and after a particularly good year a few years ago there was some money in the budget to be used as a reward.

 

I think due to taxes and maybe terms of employment the team weren’t allowed to be just given money in their wages as reward.   However, and this is where it got interesting.  The Director responsible for my department sent an email out saying “in light of a great year, please keep this date free for a day trip”.     However the day of this trip was to be a Saturday as we couldn’t do it in work time.  No one was told what the trip was, just to keep the day free and to let him know if they could attend.   Now I’m not one for any works events during my own time.  However, we were given plenty of notice and it was intriguing so I was up for it.   I was sure booze would be involved with it being a Saturday so decided I’d give it a go.

 

The other two girls who had done the lions share of the moaning quickly dismissed it and said they weren’t giving up their weekend(they didn’t have kids either) to do something work related.  Leading upto the event there was rumours of what it would be and these two cows kept laughing at everyone else and making snide comments about doing something crap like going bowling or paintballing.  At any opportunity they would say things to the rest of the team like “can’t believe you are going to spend free time at work”.  When they were corrected that it wasn’t actually “work” they would respond with “well it might as well be”.

 

The day before it at work we were told to meet at the Train Station early the following morning so it immediately took a more interesting turn.  You could also see the two that had decided not to go were already regretting their decision and started asking lots of questions as if we knew what it was. “remember text us as soon as you know”…

 

So the few of us who decided to go met at the station the next day. Turns out we got first class train tickets to London. Met the Director who got us p*ssed in a few pubs. He then took us for lunch up the Shard(oh yes Kenneth!) for a slap up meal in a private room.  Everyone was then given £250 gift vouchers.   Few pubs after it and then back on the train and home for 6pm(I should say I live in Leicester). Turned out to be a great day out.

 

Monday morning back at work, everyone who had gone was buzzing and the two who hadn’t gone were visibly livid.  The only let down was they were give then £250 vouchers as well which I think they had been raging about since the Saturday as they had been texted to say we’d all got them.

Brilliant, I thought the ending was going to be people trying to claim OT for it as well.

ha to be fair i wouldn't have put it passed them!

[Crawford Bridge]

The quality control guy at my work has doctored some paperwork to move the blame for a huge f**k-up (30 grands worth) on to my shift leader. We managed to find the original, non-doctored sheets.

Bye bye you snakey c**t.

Edited April 9, 2019 by Crawford Bridge
Brain donner standard of spelling.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

3 hours ago, G_Man1985 said:

Arseholes

What’s the story?

[Busta Nut]

4 minutes ago, Crawford Bridge said:

 

Buy buy you snakey c**t.

Hmmm, you sure it was the QC guy?

[Crawford Bridge]

Just now, Busta Nut said:

Hmmm, you sure it was the QC guy?

Absolutely, he's done it before.

He's also out his depth.

[Scary Bear]

The quality control guy at my work has doctored some paperwork to move the blame for a huge f**k-up (30 grands worth) on to my shift leader. We managed to find the original, non-doctored sheets.
Buy buy you snakey c**t.

What’s he buying?

[Crawford Bridge]

1 minute ago, Scary Bear said:

 

What’s he buying?

 

Shit!

Good spot.

[Busta Nut]

hmmmm

[Sergeant Wilson]

32 minutes ago, Crawford Bridge said:

Absolutely, he's done it before.

He's also out his depth.

 

24 minutes ago, Scary Bear said:

 

What’s he buying?

 

Paddling pools.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

48 minutes ago, G_Man1985 said:

1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

What’s the story?

31 hours reduced to 21. Working 4 days. 3 days off are all split. Quite shit but just got to get on with it. Back to other job and see what or if they can offer

Aye, that’s shite.

[mizfit]

Since moving office I’ve noticed a little clique that sit all day in the coffee area gossiping.

Walking past them today it dawned on me, I’ve yet to see either of them do anything but sit and drink coffee all day in the corner.

How the f**k is stuff like that never noticed?

[welshbairn]

3 minutes ago, mizfit said:

Since moving office I’ve noticed a little clique that sit all day in the coffee area gossiping.

Walking past them today it dawned on me, I’ve yet to see either of them do anything but sit and drink coffee all day in the corner.

How the f**k is stuff like that never noticed?

You should shmooze a bit and find out their secret.

[D.A.F.C]

3 hours ago, mizfit said:

Since moving office I’ve noticed a little clique that sit all day in the coffee area gossiping.

Walking past them today it dawned on me, I’ve yet to see either of them do anything but sit and drink coffee all day in the corner.

How the f**k is stuff like that never noticed?

Do you work at my work?

[GordonD]

12 hours ago, mizfit said:

Since moving office I’ve noticed a little clique that sit all day in the coffee area gossiping.

Walking past them today it dawned on me, I’ve yet to see either of them do anything but sit and drink coffee all day in the corner.

How the f**k is stuff like that never noticed?

How often do you walk past the coffee area?

[The Moonster]

14 hours ago, mizfit said:

Walking past them today it dawned on me, I’ve yet to see either of them do anything but sit and drink coffee all day in the corner.

How the f**k is stuff like that never noticed?

It probably is noticed and your gaffer is too much of a shitebag to deal with it.  We have a guy in here who literally takes days to send a simple email, recently his late replies and the tone of his eventual reply has cost us somewhere in the region of £100K in future work (which has now gone to our biggest competitor). It wasn't until that f**k up that our gaffer has said anything to him, despite being copied to all correspondence, and even then he was just taken to an office and asked to explain himself - explanation accepted and matter closed.  You need to do something especially fucking bad to get sacked in here, but I think costing the company upwards of £100K is probably deserving of an official warning at least. 

Most gaffers would rather any issues just disappeared without them having to confront people.

[johnthebaptistist]

I'm contemplating sacking one of our employees, I have two to pick from. Question is, in this modern age is rock, paper, scissors or the tossing a coin acceptable to pick between them ?