Work colleagues

[die hard doonhamer]

1 minute ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

I gave up after 10 and will need to go back to it and bits and pieces. 

Unfortunately I have no idea how to do what you’re trying to explain to me...

Rather than copying and pasting, in the new format doc type '=' then click on the cell in the old doc that you want to copy.

Once you've done all of the cells that you need to copy over, save it.

Go to the Data tab at the top of the new doc, then hit edit links (it's in the Queries and Connections menu).

You'll see the old doc you have linked to in the pop up box.

Select the document and click 'Change Source'.

That will bring up your windows explorer menu, navigate to the next document that you want to convert over.

That changes the links from (for example) OLD_DOC_A.xlsx to OLD_DOC_B.xlsx, so rather than having to copy everything from B, all you have to do is link it up once, then it's a few clicks to pull the next one through.

You can then save it again, and then repeat on and on.

My only caveat is that I assume all of the old documents are identical in format to each other.

[Honest_Man#1]

5 minutes ago, die hard doonhamer said:

Rather than copying and pasting, in the new format doc type '=' then click on the cell in the old doc that you want to copy.

Once you've done all of the cells that you need to copy over, save it.

Go to the Data tab at the top of the new doc, then hit edit links (it's in the Queries and Connections menu).

You'll see the old doc you have linked to in the pop up box.

Select the document and click 'Change Source'.

That will bring up your windows explorer menu, navigate to the next document that you want to convert over.

That changes the links from (for example) OLD_DOC_A.xlsx to OLD_DOC_B.xlsx, so rather than having to copy everything from B, all you have to do is link it up once, then it's a few clicks to pull the next one through.

You can then save it again, and then repeat on and on.

My only caveat is that I assume all of the old documents are identical in format to each other.

Will give this a bash, cheers!

[tamthebam]

2 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

The fantasist in my work snogged Amy Winehouse and was bffs with Bruce Springsteen when he used to work security. I'm sure he's been to the beach with Channing Tatum as well. He owns property in America where he keeps a racing car he was given as a gift, along with the shotgun he has that has a range of two miles. He can speak Danish and Korean. He knows how to do every job/task in the place, yet he's absolutely useless at all of them. He's like a human version of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons.

I remember the first day I met him. Another guy gave me the invaluable advice: "Here, don't listen to a word he says. If he starts trying to tell you a story, tell him to f**k off."

It occurs to me that before the internet fantasists could claim to speak, say, Danish and go "hurdy gurdy Carlsberg crispbread" and no-one would know any the wiser.

Now with the internet you can look up the Danish equivalent of "f*ck you, you lying cnut" and say it to the fantasist.

[Jacksgranda]

3 hours ago, tamthebam said:

It occurs to me that before the internet fantasists could claim to speak, say, Danish and go "hurdy gurdy Carlsberg crispbread" and no-one would know any the wiser.

Now with the internet you can look up the Danish equivalent of "f*ck you, you lying cnut" and say it to the fantasist.

That's Irish, ffs...

[GordonD]

16 hours ago, tamthebam said:

It occurs to me that before the internet fantasists could claim to speak, say, Danish and go "hurdy gurdy Carlsberg crispbread" and no-one would know any the wiser.

Now with the internet you can look up the Danish equivalent of "f*ck you, you lying cnut" and say it to the fantasist.

 

[Fullerene]

Which is better?

Gorgonzola or Stilton.

[Mark Connolly]

48 minutes ago, Fullerene said:

Which is better?

Gorgonzola or Stilton.

Gorgonzola. He never got outjumped by Maradona

[GordonD]

On 11/07/2021 at 22:03, Mark Connolly said:

Gorgonzola. He never got outjumped by Maradona

Though he never stopped boasting about that save from Pele.

[thistledo]

On 09/07/2021 at 15:48, Miguel Sanchez said:

The fantasist in my work snogged Amy Winehouse and was bffs with Bruce Springsteen when he used to work security. I'm sure he's been to the beach with Channing Tatum as well. He owns property in America where he keeps a racing car he was given as a gift, along with the shotgun he has that has a range of two miles. He can speak Danish and Korean. He knows how to do every job/task in the place, yet he's absolutely useless at all of them. He's like a human version of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons.

I remember the first day I met him. Another guy gave me the invaluable advice: "Here, don't listen to a word he says. If he starts trying to tell you a story, tell him to f**k off."

I find ex security workers to be some of the biggest bollocks talkers of them all. 

A friend who's, more or less, step dad is probably the biggest fantasist I or my friend have ever encountered. He started taking notes on his phone one day and now just keeps updating it as a sort of 'bullshit log' unfortunately I don't have the log, but I have some highlights such as:

He claims he was the Queens personal security at one point. Was pals with Sean Connery who loaned him the actual DB5 from Goldfinger I believe. He's travelled to every country in the world. Sometimes you get more mundane stuff like he lived in a capsized boat eating cold beans for weeks. Why I don't know. 

I think he's a lorry driver now, but honestly he gives me the fear. My mates worked out, somewhat unsurprisingly, that there is a certain level of contradiction if you query the timelines, but it doesn't seem to put him off his stride at all. There's also the question of, how dumb does he think everyone around him is? 

[Hillonearth]

On 09/07/2021 at 15:48, Miguel Sanchez said:

The fantasist in my work snogged Amy Winehouse and was bffs with Bruce Springsteen when he used to work security. I'm sure he's been to the beach with Channing Tatum as well. He owns property in America where he keeps a racing car he was given as a gift, along with the shotgun he has that has a range of two miles. He can speak Danish and Korean. He knows how to do every job/task in the place, yet he's absolutely useless at all of them. He's like a human version of Ralph Wiggum from The Simpsons.

I remember the first day I met him. Another guy gave me the invaluable advice: "Here, don't listen to a word he says. If he starts trying to tell you a story, tell him to f**k off."

Yeah, we had one of them. I remember he'd been going on for a while about going to see Madonna at Wembley...he apparently was on the guest list because they were besties.

Somebody made the mistake of asking him how it went, and he said he never made it because he ran into a car full of supermodels at a motorway services in Exeter (completely on the road to London obviously) who convinced him to miss the gig in order to take part in a two day coke fuelled orgy.

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, Hillonearth said:

Yeah, we had one of them. I remember he'd been going on for a while about going to see Madonna at Wembley...he apparently was on the guest list because they were besties.

Somebody made the mistake of asking him how it went, and he said he never made it because he ran into a car full of supermodels at a motorway services in Exeter (completely on the road to London obviously) who convinced him to miss the gig in order to take part in a two day coke fuelled orgy.

At least he made the right choice.

 

[Hillonearth]

1 minute ago, welshbairn said:

At least he made the right choice.

 

100% - Madonna's shite, but obviously HE couldn't tell her that because it would have totally ruined their friendship.

[trainspotter]

56 minutes ago, thistledo said:

I find ex security workers to be some of the biggest bollocks talkers of them all. 

A friend who's, more or less, step dad is probably the biggest fantasist I or my friend have ever encountered. He started taking notes on his phone one day and now just keeps updating it as a sort of 'bullshit log' unfortunately I don't have the log, but I have some highlights such as:

He claims he was the Queens personal security at one point. Was pals with Sean Connery who loaned him the actual DB5 from Goldfinger I believe. He's travelled to every country in the world. Sometimes you get more mundane stuff like he lived in a capsized boat eating cold beans for weeks. Why I don't know. 

I think he's a lorry driver now, but honestly he gives me the fear. My mates worked out, somewhat unsurprisingly, that there is a certain level of contradiction if you query the timelines, but it doesn't seem to put him off his stride at all. There's also the question of, how dumb does he think everyone around him is? 

His name isn't Tony by any chance?

Sailor Tony Bullimore rescued from his capsized boat - BBC News

[MEADOWXI]

When someone uses a word and it keeps getting used and you start to think it is a real word but know it isn't.

Yesterday in Teams meeting with colleague and they say they will ned to check how much time they have for their work.

They use the same word in a later group meting.

In another meeting later someone else used the 'word'.

They said ' I'll need to check my capacability'.

[hk blues]

3 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said:

When someone uses a word and it keeps getting used and you start to think it is a real word but know it isn't.

Yesterday in Teams meeting with colleague and they say they will ned to check how much time they have for their work.

They use the same word in a later group meting.

In another meeting later someone else used the 'word'.

They said ' I'll need to check my capacability'.

[TheScarf]

Is that meant to be a portmanteau of capability and availability?

[welshbairn]

Capability and capacity?

[Bairnardo]

Capability and capacity?

Capabacity

[welshbairn]

A few more here...

slothendipity, n. to achieve a fortunate result due to procrastication.

https://literaryashland.org/?p=2989

 

[Snobot]

Some absolute melt of a senior manager coined (sorry, made up) the word “satisfising” a few years back when we were in the absolute grip of management speak wankery. 
 

Satisying the whilst sufficing I believe. 
 

No, Geoff from head office, you are not the Chief Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary; you are in fact a c*nt.
 

Hanging is too good for these people. Scum. Sub-human scum.