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c***s on the road


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One of my favourite pastimes on a long motorway journey is to time a nice slow overtake, preferably a double truck deal at exactly 70, for when i see a German car closing the distance in the right hand mirror way too fast. 
I've shared enough lifts with beamer driving colleagues to know that the level of seethe in the cockpit behind more than justifies any risk. 
I like to remember what my driving instructor told me about being able to see the whole front of the overtaken vehicle before pulling back in. Sometimes you can see them raging and shouting. I like that. 
So, not just me who loves doing this 🤣
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28 minutes ago, Thistle_do_nicely said:

 

got a car with a built in touchscreen that you can use to connect to your phone for google maps in the last few months and it's fantastic, yeah.

agree on the roadsigns too, did that quite naturally on the way back with it I'm pleased to say (pretty easy thing, the maps feature tells you the name of the road you're looking for and then you follow the signage/road markings, though I do wonder how easy it is to fall into a trap of thinking the satnav will handhold you through every single step you need to take) but even just going by the curvature of the route on the map for any hairpin junctions is surprisingly accurate.

I can mind my old tomtom going haywire around the Govan underground stop because it was outdated, kept telling me to take exits at roundabouts etc. that weren't there! Think there's all the bus lanes that are strictly for buses only in that area which might have been a recentish change to the road layout.

Yes, the area around Govan Subway confuses many people nowadays due to the bus only lanes. 

There were some bad accidents when it opened at first. 

 

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Just now, Academically Deficient said:

Yes, the area around Govan Subway confuses many people nowadays due to the bus only lanes. 

There were some bad accidents when it opened at first. 

 

I saw a woman in an SLK just a few weeks ago get about ten feet into the lane, realise her mistake, and drive over the pavement to get back to the road. Great entertainment.

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2 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I saw a woman in an SLK just a few weeks ago get about ten feet into the lane, realise her mistake, and drive over the pavement to get back to the road. Great entertainment.

Indeed. A ten minute stroll around Govan Cross and shopping centre, with its "unique ambience", will always provide something interesting.

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38 minutes ago, Day of the Lords said:

So, not just me who loves doing this 🤣

What exactly is it you love about it? If the car  behind was on its way to an accident and emergency department as a matter of urgency, would you still love it? Really can’t get my head around that sort of behaviour. What exactly is it about a car travelling faster that would make you want to do that. Let them pass, 5 seconds later they will be out your sight and you will never need to worry yourself about them again. Going out your way to antagonise another person, wether they are breaking the speed limit or not, is strange behaviour. 

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1 minute ago, IrishBhoy said:

What exactly is it you love about it? If the car  behind was on its way to an accident and emergency department as a matter of urgency, would you still love it? Really can’t get my head around that sort of behaviour. What exactly is it about a car travelling faster that would make you want to do that. Let them pass, 5 seconds later they will be out your sight and you will never need to worry yourself about them again. Going out your way to antagonise another person, wether they are breaking the speed limit or not, is strange behaviour. 

That's ambulances you're thinking of, not BMW drivers with dwarf genitalia. 

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1 hour ago, Thistle_do_nicely said:

 

got a car with a built in touchscreen that you can use to connect to your phone for google maps in the last few months and it's fantastic, yeah.

agree on the roadsigns too, did that quite naturally on the way back with it I'm pleased to say (pretty easy thing, the maps feature tells you the name of the road you're looking for and then you follow the signage/road markings, though I do wonder how easy it is to fall into a trap of thinking the satnav will handhold you through every single step you need to take) but even just going by the curvature of the route on the map for any hairpin junctions is surprisingly accurate.

I can mind my old tomtom going haywire around the Govan underground stop because it was outdated, kept telling me to take exits at roundabouts etc. that weren't there! Think there's all the bus lanes that are strictly for buses only in that area which might have been a recentish change to the road layout.

A mate of mine used to live on a farm near Kincardine. It was a fun journey, given my sat nav would say “Off Road” and show me driving through the river, as the Clackmannanshire Bridge was not yet on the map, on the way to a house that the Sat Nav claimed didn’t exist, despite being over 100 years old.

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6 minutes ago, coprolite said:

That's ambulances you're thinking of, not BMW drivers with dwarf genitalia. 

That’s some talent you have to be able to tell the purpose of any given cars journey just by the model. 
 

And the ‘BMW drivers have small penis’ patter is inaccurate. I know a guy with an X5 who’s penis can touch the bottom of a pint glass while flaccid. 

Edited by IrishBhoy
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1 minute ago, coprolite said:

The purpose of bmws and audis is to transport arseholes. That's axiomatic. 

Well I drive one of those cars, and you are absolutely spot on. I’m going to start driving like the biggest arsehole since sliced bread if I’ve got a reputation to live up to. 

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9 minutes ago, IrishBhoy said:

That’s some talent you have to be able to tell the purpose of any given cars journey just by the model. 
 

And the ‘BMW drivers have small penis’ patter is inaccurate. I know a guy with an X5 who’s penis can touch the bottom of a pint glass while flaccid. 

The outside or the inside?

Edited by Sergeant Wilson
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1 hour ago, IrishBhoy said:

That’s some talent you have to be able to tell the purpose of any given cars journey just by the model. 
 

And the ‘BMW drivers have small penis’ patter is inaccurate. I know a guy with an X5 who’s penis can touch the bottom of a pint glass while flaccid. 

Did you still finish the beer?

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10 minutes ago, Snafu said:

Some people thought this was fake.

Cargo train crosses busy motorway without any warning in Azerbaijan – Find  and Share Funny Animated Gifs | Cool gifs, Gif, Funny gif

Anyone know of this?

Is that the boy that tried to sink the Hospital ship at the start of the Virus?

 

ETA, hmmm engine looks similar but no mention of 8 lane traffic in news report.

 

 

 

Edited by Manifesto
Add in news report.
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4 hours ago, IrishBhoy said:

That’s some talent you have to be able to tell the purpose of any given cars journey just by the model. 
 

And the ‘BMW drivers have small penis’ patter is inaccurate. I know a guy with an X5 who’s penis can touch the bottom of a pint glass while flaccid. 

As an old girlfriend said to me, in an attempt at confidence-building: "better with a wee worker than a big lazy b*****d".

A tattoo worthy sentiment. 

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