coprolite Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Flatulence based chat in here. As someone who suffers from chronic severe flatulence, I have been intrigued by adverts for fart filtering undergarments. Have any other posters tried these? do they give you the confidence to let rip with impunity? I suspect that they may be a cruel hoax on a par with x ray specs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecto Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Flatulence based chat in here. As someone who suffers from chronic severe flatulence, I have been intrigued by adverts for fart filtering undergarments. Have any other posters tried these? do they give you the confidence to let rip with impunity? I suspect that they may be a cruel hoax on a par with x ray specs. Are they cheaper than a change of diet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 The most worrying/embarrassing thing about a public fart is surely the volume rather than the smell as it’s quite easy to blame the smell on someone else? I assume fart filters would only filter out the smell unless they let out a quick burst of God Save the Queen when you let a trouser trumpet loose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 2 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: The most worrying/embarrassing thing about a public fart is surely the volume rather than the smell as it’s quite easy to blame the smell on someone else? I assume fart filters would only filter out the smell unless they let out a quick burst of God Save the Queen when you let a trouser trumpet loose. That's what I was thinking - perfect for the silent but deadly ones, no use for the thunderclaps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Why the f**k would you want to filter out a fart? Dropping an absolute bomb in a crowded place is nothing short of wonderful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 I farted during meditation at an AA meeting the other night. Loud as f**k. Ruined the atmosphere a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 There's a guy in my office who just looks like he does stinking farts so it's pretty much open-season for everyone else as our dear colleague absorbs all blame. I do feel quite sorry for him as he's regularly chastised for it, but he provides a vital service for the office. A fartyr, if you will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 My personal favorite was when I was a kid, in P5 I think. Our teacher was a Bible basher and we had to say the Lord's Prayer before each class. During one such occasion I let an absolute ripper go. It was magnificent, several seconds long and at least two tone changes. Unfortunately there was no way of blaming anyone else, as I was pretty much crying with laughter. Got quite the punishment exercise for that one [emoji38] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEADOWXI Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 The joy of timeing a fart so you do it in an empty lift at work, just as you get out the lift, leaving the smell behind lingering in the steel box for the next user to walk in , press the button and realise they are now trapped in a smelly box. The joy of knowing you have left that for someone makes going to work almost bearable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 22 minutes ago, MEADOWXI said: The joy of timeing a fart so you do it in an empty lift at work, just as you get out the lift, leaving the smell behind lingering in the steel box for the next user to walk in , press the button and realise they are now trapped in a smelly box. The joy of knowing you have left that for someone makes going to work almost bearable. This kind of relates to The Soup Paradox, whereby soup generally smells delicious in open play, but the lingering wafts from a recently departed soup container omit the bouquet of a particularly odious fart when trapped in the confinement of a lift. Weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arch Stanton Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 My mate once farted on a plane and the smell was so rancid that a man, on the opposite side of the aisle, picked up his nappy wearing infant and sniffed its arse because he thought it had shat itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 The fortunate thing is that I knew the officer in question. On 09/09/2015 at 19:29, Zen Archer said: I farted on a policeman, just as the bus came to the stop my guts rumbled and I took a few steps back so as to be out of earshot, then I let rip unaware that a bobby had just walked up behind me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moonster Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Seems like the perfect place to post the most beautiful fart of all time: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 I emptied the work once, as the boss walked into a room I'd just farted in and was convinced something was on fire. Being a shitebag, I let us all stand outside in the cold for fifteen minutes rather than admit the horrible truth. Definitely something up with my digestion at the time. The wife claimed I smelled like burning rubber Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Won't ever forget the above.Why did you refer to them as a family of stunners? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benjamin_Nevis Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Let a few crackers go at the Kiltwalk last weekend as well. If you have the right sort of gap to the folk behind, it has that vital few seconds to properly develop into something horrific just as they walk into it. Tesco used to do protein wraps which when filled with Mexicana cheese were glorious farting fuel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kennboy1978 Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 Right, who was it? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-45273485?__twitter_impression=true Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted August 22, 2018 Share Posted August 22, 2018 The best time to fart is on public transport, especially when you're about to get off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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