Calling Cards of Morons

[effeffsee_the2nd]

9 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said:

Specifically a men's team?

ok fair enough, the first team of a professional club

[Highland Capital]

4 hours ago, TheScarf said:

Steve Paterson used to sit on the arse in the dugout the whole game and barely move and he got us from the 3rd Division to an established 1st Division side and he was absolutely steaming as well, for the most part.

He used to fall asleep sometimes as well.  One of the few managers you'd ever see sitting at the back of the dugout (probably for that reason!).

4 hours ago, effeffsee_the2nd said:

Exactly, A men's senior professional team should know exactly what they're doing , what to do if they can't break down opposition, if they concede, if they get a man sent off etc

Do a bunch of scaffolders  have the foreman standing telling them move by move what to do

I remember watching a documentary about the big GAA coach Jim McGuinness and he said that if a coach needs to shout and screen on the touchline it's because their plan hasn't worked.  I might be being a bit naive here, but I've never understood why managers don't sit in the stand more often - you can't see a thing from the dugout and any instructions and stuff could be dished out by the assistant anyway. 

[Miguel Sanchez]

4 minutes ago, Highland Capital said:

I remember watching a documentary about the big GAA coach Jim McGuinness and he said that if a coach needs to shout and screen on the touchline it's because their plan hasn't worked.  I might be being a bit naive here, but I've never understood why managers don't sit in the stand more often - you can't see a thing from the dugout and any instructions and stuff could be dished out by the assistant anyway. 

[MONKMAN]

Do a bunch of scaffolders  have the foreman standing telling them move by move what to do

Some of them do actually, scaffolders are the missing link.

[DA Baracus]

15 hours ago, Highland Capital said:

He used to fall asleep sometimes as well.  One of the few managers you'd ever see sitting at the back of the dugout (probably for that reason!).

I remember watching a documentary about the big GAA coach Jim McGuinness and he said that if a coach needs to shout and screen on the touchline it's because their plan hasn't worked.  I might be being a bit naive here, but I've never understood why managers don't sit in the stand more often - you can't see a thing from the dugout and any instructions and stuff could be dished out by the assistant anyway. 

Managers don't sit in the stand because fans go berzerk when they do, with full on, furious, frothing at the mouth rants about how it means the manager can't instruct players, how he isn't showing passion, how he's hiding, how he can't control games and other, ludicrous, moronic nonsense.

For some reason it really sets fans off. They go absolutely crazy over it. It's really bizarre.

[TheScarf]

16 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Managers don't sit in the stand because fans go berzerk when they do, with full on, furious, frothing at the mouth rants about how it means the manager can't instruct players, how he isn't showing passion, how he's hiding, how he can't control games and other, ludicrous, moronic nonsense.

For some reason it really sets fans off. They go absolutely crazy over it. It's really bizarre.

It's why rugby (I know) coaches do it, they know they can't see fuck all from the same level as the players.  Seeing it from a higher vantage point is far easier.  It's complete common sense, which the vast, vast majority of football players, managers and fans lack.

[tamthebam]

Terry Christie used to stand on the seated terrace at Meadowbank which wasn't used for spectators.

He could watch the game from a raised height and there was no danger of the ref dismissing him from the dugout for a rant.

Talking of which- John Watson was assistant at a club (Berwick?) but also had broken his leg. He hobbled on crutches into the dugout at Meadowbank and during the match was sent off for a rant so had to hobble back slowly to the dressing rooms with the home fans wishing him well (not)

[Shandon Par]

7 hours ago, tamthebam said:

Terry Christie used to stand on the seated terrace at Meadowbank which wasn't used for spectators.

He could watch the game from a raised height and there was no danger of the ref dismissing him from the dugout for a rant.

Talking of which- John Watson was assistant at a club (Berwick?) but also had broken his leg. He hobbled on crutches into the dugout at Meadowbank and during the match was sent off for a rant so had to hobble back slowly to the dressing rooms with the home fans wishing him well (not)

I remember Jocky Scott nonchalantly standing behind the dugouts at Meadowbank flicking the V’s at his own fans when he was Pars boss.

 

Edited April 28, 2021 by Rasputin

[Derry Alli]

2 minutes ago, Rasputin said:

I remember Jocky Scott nonchalantly standing behind the dugouts at Meadowhank flicking the V’s at his own fans when he was Pars boss.

Whas in cherge? 

Jocky's in cherge. 

N' dinna yous fuckin firget it, cuntos.

Edited April 28, 2021 by Mr. Alli

[Highland Capital]

Are a member of the Alba Party.

[TheScarf]

11 minutes ago, Highland Capital said:

Are a member of the Alba Party.

Was walking through Cradlehall on Friday afternoon and a house that usually has a Saltire flying in the garden and SNP stickers all over the windows appeared to have Alba Party stickers next to them too.  Another Alba convert! It's happening lads!

[Highland Capital]

1 minute ago, TheScarf said:

Was walking through Cradlehall on Friday afternoon and a house that usually has a Saltire flying in the garden and SNP stickers all over the windows appeared to have Alba Party stickers next to them too.  Another Alba convert! It's happening lads!

Someone with flags flying in their garden is another calling card of a moron.

[Shandon Par]

Double whammy...

Flying a Union Jack from your house/garden/window/car. 
 
And save your pish about calling it the union flag. Yes, jack is a naval term but the Union Jack is the recognised name for it and has been officially so for well over 100 years. 
 

 

[Shandon Par]

How long has this virus stuff been going on? Long enough to learn how to spell “metre” surely?

 

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

40 minutes ago, Rasputin said:

How long has this virus stuff been going on? Long enough to learn how to spell “metre” surely?

 

[Paul Kersey]

1 hour ago, Rasputin said:

Double whammy...

Flying a Union Jack from your house/garden/window/car. 
 
And save your pish about calling it the union flag. Yes, jack is a naval term but the Union Jack is the recognised name for it and has been officially so for well over 100 years. 
 

 

TBH, having any flag* in your house/garden/car/window is pretty fucking moronic.

*apart from Mozambique. That is cool as f**k.

[Shandon Par]

4 hours ago, Zen Archer Esq. said:

Nice meters! I’ve started spraying/painting them various shades. Can really let down the outside of a gaff if the meter box is all green and mouldy.

[tamthebam]

2 hours ago, Rasputin said:

Nice meters! I’ve started spraying/painting them various shades. Can really let down the outside of a gaff if the meter box is all green and mouldy.

Why do I get a strange feeling that a gas explosion/power cut is about to hit a street in Dunfermline?

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

4 minutes ago, tamthebam said:

Why do I get a strange feeling that a gas explosion/power cut is about to hit a street in Dunfermline?

I don't want to steal @Hedgecutter 's thunder, but he lives a wee bit beyond the ancient city.

[Highland Capital]

People who say they've "done their own research".  It's almost always used by people looking for a reason to justify the opinion they already held.

Edited May 16, 2021 by Highland Capital