The 'Tremendous' Tales of Tightfistedness Thread

[Wacky]

Isn’t it true that predictive text will fling up your most commonly used words and phrases, @Sergeant Wilson?  

 

[MONKMAN]

The oil and gas industry is littered with people who earn very good money, but are either monumentally tight or up to their eyeballs in debt.  

[Hedgecutter]

On 18/03/2019 at 12:46, Muzza81 said:

This. I always feel cheap for bringing it up but if I am out with couples it should be expected that each couple should buy two rounds to me one. I end up just saying f**k all and getting annoyed.

This has only just sunk in.

There are couples that would expect you to buy them two drinks for every one you receive from them?!  

FWIW (and call this tightfisted if you will), if out with a group containing women then I'll actively attempt to get the first round in as they seem to have a habit of starting 'cheap'* and then gradually get more expensive as the night progresses.  That or you start with pub prices then progress into bar prices.  Get the wines in before somebody opens the £11  cocktail floodgates I say.  Not really stingey if my drinks fluctuate by 50p rather than a fiver imo.

There's bound to be loads of folk who try to dodge those first few rounds, only for it to bite them on the arse.  Pleasing.

*they're never cheap.

 

ETA: or does the first person just also end up buying in the second cycle and getting sod all in return?!  It's a tightrope.

Edited April 9 by Hedgecutter

[orfc]

Should see the rush to say "I'll get the next lot" when we know we're going to a spoons next

[Boghead ranter]

1 hour ago, Hedgecutter said:

This has only just sunk in.

There are couples that would expect you to buy them two drinks for every one you receive from them?!  

FWIW (and call this tightfisted if you will), if out with a group containing women then I'll actively attempt to get the first round in as they seem to have a habit of starting 'cheap'* and then gradually get more expensive as the night progresses.  That or you start with pub prices then progress into bar prices.  Get the wines in before somebody opens the £11  cocktail floodgates I say.  Not really stingey if my drinks fluctuate by 50p rather than a fiver imo.

There's bound to be loads of folk who try to dodge those first few rounds, only for it to bite them on the arse.  Pleasing.

*they're never cheap.

 

ETA: or does the first person just also end up buying in the second cycle and getting sod all in return?!  It's a tightrope.

Also have to take account of the size of the company/party. In large rounds, some lightweights are out of the game and in a taxi home before even standing their round.

[highlandmac]

Aye,couples rounds are a thing,shocking

['WellDel]

If you're in a round of mainly couples and one or two singles, surely the right thing to do is fire up a kitty, with the singletons contributing half the amount of the couples?

Same applies if you're going to be visiting multiple hostelries/have wildly varying round prices. Kitty up at the start and replenish as required as the night goes on and no-one should really get stung. That's what us sensible and civilised folk in Lanarkshire do anyway.

[Molotov]

At least with a kitty you are guaranteed that the tightfisted feckers stay the course……until the kitty runs dry and requires replenishment. 

Although invariably those individuals are the ones that after the first round of “pints everyone?” move onto double spirits plus mixers next time to get their moneys worth. 

[Lyle Lanley]

 

[Rugster]

21 hours ago, Zetterlund said:

A group of us used to go on wild camping trips for one or two nights fairly regularly. One weekend I was going up for the second night only, and while stocking up at Tesco on the way I called the others to see if anyone wanted me to pick anything up. One of the guys, who I didn't know particularly well, asked me to get him a crate of Tennents,

At the campsite, upon handing over the merchandise and informing the person for whom I had done a kindly favour that it cost £9.50, he said he only had a tenner and asked if I had the 50p change. When I said I didn't, he put the tenner back in his pocket and said he'd ask around to see if anyone else had any. 

I never did get paid. A tenner was too small an amount to make a scene over, but enough for me to still judge the guy on this experience 20-odd years later.

I hope you didn’t give him the beer. FFS. 

[Derry Alli]

5 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

The oil and gas industry is littered with people who earn very good money, but are either monumentally tight or up to their eyeballs in debt.  

A mate of mine bought a Rangey and a big hoose in an affluent area. His wee brother told me he was eye ball debted pre purchases and then covid hit.

Tried to raffle off his motor at £1k a number. Christ knows how it went, he got deleted.

[AnderooMFC]

With all this talk of folk dodging rounds and moaning about couples I'm glad I pay for my own drinks separately. None of this nonsense or hassle when I'm drinking two JD/vodka to everyone's pint and can get doubles when I feel like it. Also, having to carry all the drinks is a nightmare. Last time I bought a round and half the glasses got spilt due to my horrible co-ordination. It was in the pub that used to be at Queen Street that's now a shiny glass entrance and we were sitting outside. I was sober at the time, made it up the three stairs and through the doors and they went everywhere two steps from the table. No, if there's ever anymore than two or three people then buy your own.

The keeping up with the Jonseses' chat does put me in mind of a place not too far away my parents called Spam Valley at one point. When asked why apparently it was said that the folk living there spent so much on the house/mortgage they could only afford to eat spam for dinner.

[Shadow Play]

5 hours ago, 'WellDel said:

If you're in a round of mainly couples and one or two singles, surely the right thing to do is fire up a kitty, with the singletons contributing half the amount of the couples?

Same applies if you're going to be visiting multiple hostelries/have wildly varying round prices. Kitty up at the start and replenish as required as the night goes on and no-one should really get stung. That's what us sensible and civilised folk in Lanarkshire do anyway.

Always found it was the tight folk that wanted to run the kitty.  If there’s 6 people in a kitty they could easily end up with £10-£20 left over at the end of the night.  Not like anyone asks for their change out a kitty.

 

[diegomarahenry]

I had a mate who couldn't drink much on nights out so would always ask for Budweiser and was also tighter than two coats of paint. He would drink approximately the neck of the bottle and always take a drink in the round. The bar staff would clear tables and leave all these bottles that were 3/4 full. He would then not buy himself a drink on his round because he'd have 6 bottles in front of him. It lasted about 4 nights out before he was told to buy his own drinks. 

I worked with a guy who won an ESSO branded England top (He's Scottish) buying petrol and wore it out running every day because it would be a waste to bin it. He could have also not taken it, but it was free. He split up with his wife and wore a pink fleece she left in his house rather than give it to her. 

I worked with a woman who filled a flask every day with coffee out the free vending machine in the break area, an old school one that sold tea, coffee and soup. She would take it home to drink at night. 

[welshbairn]

13 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

A colleague of mine (Aberdonian) takes his dirty washing out to the rigs to save him running a wash at home.

I'd say "spare a thought for the security bag searchers at the heliport", but that would only encourage him (and many others).

Netanyahu and his missus used to take at least 2 full suitcases of dirty clothes each when they got invited to stay at the Whitehouse so they could get everything washed and nicely pressed by the staff. Apparently they took 11 suitcases for a one night stay in Portugal. 

Edited April 10 by welshbairn

[Boo Khaki]

I have an acquaintance who, during the first lockdown, was regularly spotted hovering around outside the completely closed and locked up local boozer at umpteen points during the day. They hadn't switched off the Wifi router before they locked up for the final time.

[Boo Khaki]

7 hours ago, 'WellDel said:

If you're in a round of mainly couples and one or two singles, surely the right thing to do is fire up a kitty, with the singletons contributing half the amount of the couples?

Same applies if you're going to be visiting multiple hostelries/have wildly varying round prices. Kitty up at the start and replenish as required as the night goes on and no-one should really get stung. That's what us sensible and civilised folk in Lanarkshire do anyway.

When I'm in the pub, 9 times in 10 it's with the Mrs and a few pals, most of whom are either single or don't really socialise with their partners. We always buy as if we are all individuals, and to be fair to my better half, she's never slow to dip in the purse and pay for a round. 

This is in complete contrast to ex-Mrs Khaki, to whom every penny was a prisoner. She's also the type who doesnae see it as either a lassies job to go to the bar, or ever actually buy a round of drinks for that matter. We'd go out in a group, she'd have 20 quid in her purse, come home even more pished than I was, and still have that £20 note in her purse the next morning. I didn't mind picking up the slack, but this is no a skint student or a teenager, we're talking about a woman in her 30's who earned more than I did at the time. Some lassies just never move beyond that stage of expecting the men to buy aw the drinks no matter what. Chancing boot. 

[RawB93]

Love folk who offer to buy rounds.

Unfortunately for you, you don't realise I'm not playing "rounds" and this is actually just a free drink from someone I probably wasn't even going to say hello to. 

Enjoy your night, mate.

[Pocketman]

2 hours ago, RawB93 said:

Love folk who offer to buy rounds.

Unfortunately for you, you don't realise I'm not playing "rounds" and this is actually just a free drink from someone I probably wasn't even going to say hello to. 

Enjoy your night, mate.

"playing rounds" or as normal people term it - simply buying someone back a drink who bought you one. 

Some folks devote real time and energy to avoid having to buy anyone a drink or making a tenner stretch (and not through lack of funds) - whether it is opportune disappearances or avoiding eye contact,, making sure never up at the bar first in entering the pub, nursing drinks, boring or stalking partial strangers to see if can illicit drinks etc etc. Must be exhausting and pretty miserable. 

[Derry Alli]

Minesweepin' is the ultimate fun bar game.