Let them run free

[SlipperyP]

I all, I'm slippery, 

Today my son 8 years old asked if he could go out with his friend, Obviously the question is "where", he said to temple on his bike with his friend (which I like), this temple is 3 mile away.  I said yes.

This is the furthest he has ever gone without a parent.....he is still out there.

I as a young pup, walked 2 mile every day to school on may own, then cycled over 6 miles to my best friends house, why have I become crazy or I am a bad parent,

How far do you let your kid go of the string? 

[superbigal]

My Mrs never let my young lad do anything hardly until he was 11.

Now at 12 and finishing S1 he heads to Dundee on the bus with his mates etc.

I used to venture to United matches alone from Fife when I was 10 years old.

Changed times indeed.

TBH I would not let an 8 year old go that far.  Mine at 8 could not even be trusted to pour milk on his Frosties.

Edited July 2, 2021 by superbigal

[Bairnardo]

My Mrs never let my young lad do anything hardly until he was 11.
Now at 12 and finishing S1 he heads to Dundee on the bus with his mates etc.
I used to venture to United matches alone from Fife when I was 10 years old.
Changed times indeed.
TBH I would not let an 8 year old go that far.  Mine at 8 could not even be trusted to pour milk on his Frosties.

Its an interesting one this. Is it that the world was a less scary place when we were young, or is it that we were more capable (which would be the fault of mollycoddling parents) or is it just that parents are total shitebags now?

I think I vaguely think of the world as more dangerous now for my kids but when I think about it, I cant actually come up with a rationale to back it up.

I cant really remember what I was doing at 8 years old but I was defenitely out and about doing some stuff of my own accord.

[Thorongil]

I’m trying to encourage my 8 year old to be more independent. We live rurally and he won’t even venture out of the garden without one of us. There’s a deer fenced 10 acre woodland 200 yards away and involving crossing no roads so when his friends are over I now normally send them in there for a while. 

[Le Tout P'ti FC]

My wee boy turns eight next month. He's allowed to go everywhere in the place we live in. That you can walk from one end of the village to the other in ten minutes makes this an easy decision.

The risk of the big bad bogey man taking him away is not really paramount in my thinking.

More concerned about him crossing a road. But you don't learn about roads without crossing them yourself and making your own judgements.

The first few times he left by himself were pretty terrifying.

[stu_mfc]

31 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

Its an interesting one this. Is it that the world was a less scary place when we were young, or is it that we were more capable (which would be the fault of mollycoddling parents) or is it just that parents are total shitebags now?

I think I vaguely think of the world as more dangerous now for my kids but when I think about it, I cant actually come up with a rationale to back it up.

I cant really remember what I was doing at 8 years old but I was defenitely out and about doing some stuff of my own accord.

I think the world just appears a more scary place because we know more with 24hr news reporting and social media. Also much more cars on the road now as well so limits how far we let the kids go as not to have to worry about idiot drivers.

[Newbornbairn]

Just looked at Google Maps. The huge walk I had to Primary School when I was 8 which involved rolling plains, forests and motorways was actually only 0.7 miles across a field, through some trees and over a road. All the places we used to play are within a 1 mile circle but it seemed like big adventures when I was a bairn. 

 

Edited July 2, 2021 by Newbornbairn

[johnnydun]

Depends on the kids maturity and on the area imo.

My middle one, 13, can go out as long as we know where he is. He is sensible.

The youngest, 10, can’t go past the garden gate himself. He pays no attention to anything.

[Bairnardo]

Just looked at Google Maps. The huge walk I had to Primary School when I was 8 which involved rolling plains, forests and motorways was actually only 0.7 miles across a field, through some trees and over a road. All the places we used to play are within a 1 mile circle but it seemed like big adventures when I was a bairn. 
 

I just did this [emoji23]

0.7 miles to school, walking the long way and to the loch, which was our big summer adventire, considered a nightmare to get to.... 1.9 miles

[101]

1 hour ago, Bairnardo said:

I think I vaguely think of the world as more dangerous now for my kids but when I think about it, I cant actually come up with a rationale to back it up.

Crime is at like a 30 year low or something. I blame Facebook for winding folk up into a frenzy and believe there is a dog napper or wean catcher on every street.

[Bairnardo]

1 minute ago, 101 said:

Crime is at like a 30 year low or something. I blame Facebook for winding folk up into a frenzy and believe there is a dog napper or wean catcher on every street.

Yeah I think in my case its just the transfer of responsibility to me as the parent now. I was certainly never worried or scared as a kid in my village. We were all over the place. 

[ICTChris]

7 minutes ago, 101 said:

Crime is at like a 30 year low or something. I blame Facebook for winding folk up into a frenzy and believe there is a dog napper or wean catcher on every street.

It isn't crime that I think pushes kids inside, it's cars.  We moved house to get to somewhere that was quiet and doesn't require crossing busy roads.  WHen my boy is due to start school he'll be able to walk to it, the local Scout group and park are also walkable and there is green space he can walk to without crossing roads.

 

[hk blues]

My young lad is 9 in a couple of weeks so similar age.  We live in an enclosed area, albeit large, with plenty of security so I feel a little reassured by that but who knows, in a community of 10,000 folk there will be a number of weirdos so who knows?  We let our son go out with his classmate in the next street and they do roam around a little but how far, I have no idea.  My wife is overly protective and a tad paranoid so I try to put a bit of balance the other way.  

At 9 I was playing football and going around Dundee by bus for games and training alone or with same-age mates.  There's no way I'd let my son do similar nowadays.  

 

[Raithie]

My laddie is 9 and diagnosed with ASD however he is high functioning and copes fine in mainstream school. As an only child we see how happy he is when he can have friends or his cousins over and since moving to our new house there's been few kids of similar age chap the door asking him to go out and play. He's never met these kids before but he's keen to get out and about and I think this would do him the world of good from a social aspect and build up his confidence and street smartness. He's also hypermobile so physically struggles with some things however he seems to push himself when he sees what other kids can do eg if he went to climb up something and was struggling we'd give him encouragement but he'd just say he couldn't do it however if he sees another kid doing it, and if he thinks we're not watching, he'll go for it and manage it (hard to explain). Unfortunately because he struggles at times to read social cues (he's getting better) he's easily led and we don't really know these kids so we're a bit iffy about him going out and about on his own with folk we don't know- we'll need to bite the bullet soon as he's chomping at the bit to be let off the leash. He's been at his cousins house who are of similar age. They roam the streets and surrounding areas and he's went out with them but the wife was a nervous wreck and he was only away for about an hour. It didn't seem to phase him being out and about without his us with him which was encouraging. 

 

[effeffsee_the2nd]

i think it's just availability of information that clouds peoples judgement into thinking the world is a big scary place full of danger

my parents and most of my friends folks took a fairly laidback approach to things when we were young (90s) and gave us almost complete freedom as teenagers in the early 2000 by which time we had phones, they were totaly fine with us going to brockville on our ownat age14 and up  it was common for groups of us to get the train to either glasgow or edinburgh to attend a gig where there was alcohol on sale ( it wasn't that hard to get served or have someone buy it for you in those days)  and not arrive home untill around midnight , all completely unsupervised.  i don't know how many parents would allow that today but i think it done us a lot of good in terms of finding our way in the world 

[hk blues]

4 minutes ago, effeffsee_the2nd said:

i think it's just availability of information that clouds peoples judgement into thinking the world is a big scary place full of danger

 

Alternatively, the availability of information makes people aware the world is a big scary place full of danger.  

I think the reality is somewhere between the old ignorance is bliss way and the new danger is lurking on every street corner thinking.  I'm pretty sure there were a fair few weirdos around when I was a young teenager but back then I'd never heard the word paedophile but my son has now and he's not close to being a teenager.  

In short, I'm not sure if the world is a more dangerous place now but we certainly are led to believe it is.  

[Jacksgranda]

3 hours ago, SlipperyP said:

I all, I'm slippery, 

Today my son 8 years old asked if he could go out with his friend, Obviously the question is "where", he said to temple on his bike with his friend (which I like), this temple is 3 mile away.  I said yes.

This is the furthest he has ever gone without a parent.....he is still out there.

I as a young pup, walked 2 mile every day to school on may own, then cycled over 6 miles to my best friends house, why have I become crazy or I am a bad parent,

How far do you let your kid go of the string? 

I seem to recall myself, my brother and two of our cousins going out in the morning and not coming home until the evening, but my memory might be playing tricks on me. I was 8, my brother 4.5, and our cousins were 9 & 7.

The grandchildren are all on a very tight leash, personally I would give them a bit more latitude, but orders are orders!

[Shandon Par]

We were set free and semi-feral from a young (pre-school) age. Would hang out with the “big kids” on bmx all day from about age 4/5. From about 7 we’d go off on day trips, cycling miles away, making fires to cook on, playing with knives, catapults etc. Then onto girls, booze, drugs and casual violence by early teens. Can never decide if my parents were great or terrible. 

I try and get my daughter to go out and do drugs, get smashed etc but she just sits at home doing art and supporting good causes.  

[RH33]

My eldest is allowed to take himself over to meet his pals as we live the opposite side of Erskine to the school. He was out most afternoon other day. He's almost 13. 

[effeffsee_the2nd]

12 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

 

I try and get my daughter to go out and do drugs, get smashed etc but she just sits at home doing art and supporting good causes.  

Fucking kids these days eh? think they know best