The Family Feuds Thread

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[Hedgecutter]

21 minutes ago, RH33 said:

So you're mum is remarried, is disgusted that his kids disowned him, but expects you to do the same.

As Larkin said "they f**k you up your mum and dad"...

She thinks that him cheating on their mother doesn't merit disownment by the kids (and I'd be more than inclined to agree), but feels that the reasons for my dad's divorce and his subsequent spiteful actions towards her do.

Perhaps an important factor here was that her own mum disowned her, which she claimed was because she didn't visit enough. However, my gran told me on the one and only time I visited myself that it was because she thought my mum had got greedy.  She also didn't have much of an issue disowning her brother when he wouldn't give her money after she'd been written out of her will as a result.  Can't help but feel that she thinks that family disownment is fairly common, and if others are getting it, then why isn't it my dad.

I'd never heard of that poem until now btw:

 

This Be The Verse

BY PHILIP LARKIN

 

They f**k you up, your mum and dad. 

They may not mean to, but they do.   

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

 

But they were fucked up in their turn

By fools in old-style hats and coats,   

Who half the time were soppy-stern

And half at one another’s throats.

 

Man hands on misery to man.

It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

And don’t have any kids yourself

Edited November 11, 2022 by Hedgecutter

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

12 minutes ago, mathematics said:

My aunt stabbed my uncle with a bread knife on Christmas Eve. Punctured his lung and he was in hospital for a wee while.

They’re still together.

Was she charged with disturbing the piece?

[mathematics]

1 minute ago, Zen Archer (Raconteur) said:

Was she charged with disturbing the piece?

[Benjamin_Nevis]

2 hours ago, Barry Ferguson's Hat said:

My uncle shagged the wrong aunt and now Christmases are unpleasant. 

2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

We've all been there.

She must have a fanny like a vandalised bus seat by now FFS

[Venti]

19 minutes ago, mathematics said:

My aunt stabbed my uncle with a bread knife on Christmas Eve. Punctured his lung and he was in hospital for a wee while.

They’re still together.

Chibbing somecunt's lung with a bread knife is some feat.

[mathematics]

Just now, Venti said:

Chibbing somecunt's lung with a bread knife is some feat.

She’s feisty 

[SlipperyP]

@Hedgecutter  the thread for me.

My mum had 13 brothers or sisters.

When here Dad died, nothing...few months one of the sister put the mother in a care home.

One of the brothers didn't  like....it went on for a year or so.

My mum died, at the funeral there was a fight (actual fists) about this , then it went on for years. (Granny died).

It went on for years, probably sill going.

I fucking hate everyone of them, for fucking up my Mum funeral......and my Dads (they were only in small numbers).

Be Strong, 

 

[RH33]

In conclusion, hedgecutters mum may be beyond the point therapy would help her

[Venti]

3 minutes ago, mathematics said:

She’s feisty 

Definitely don't disappoint her Christmas present this year.

Unless you want to be using your spine to butter your toast.

[alta-pete]

@Hedgecutter, go.

You’re a grown up, so should your mother be. If she’s going to constantly hold this disowning threat - a seemingly standard MO - over you, she’ll inevitably only do it later for something more trivial. 

You’ve got two weeks off, the world (Australia particularly) has been shut for near 3 years. We are all ageing. When will you get another opportunity? 

[coprolite]

My wife managed to keep hidden, until after birthing our eldest, that she's an absolute psycho. She now has grudges against all of my family, which are substantially imaginary or recalled with increasingly unhinged inaccuracy. 

[mathematics]

Also, @Hedgecutter, go!

[Bairnardo]

Hedgecutter I think you need to call thus one based squarely on whether you want to go or not.

You are faced with the possibility of regrets of your own, and missing out in experiences that might be once in a lifetime, because another grown adult is being selfish.

I know it's hard, and it's your mum, but do you really want to avoid this threat of "disownment" by living your own adult life on someone else's terms, which they have set purely for the benefit of their own feelings and grievances?

It's a bit nuclear to say "do you really want to still have a relationship with your mum on those terms" but thats not too far off where you are really.

It never fails to amaze me how selfish and blind some grown adults can be. Not that it's not natural to feel that way, but she should be recognising that it's her problem she feels that way and managing that herself, not issuing threats to loved ones.

I wish it was as simple as flying round the globe to see either of my parents just one more time.... You maybe want to have a word with your mum about how it makes you feel for someone to be casually manipulating a choice between one, the other, or maybe even none for you.

[scottsdad]

2 minutes ago, oaksoft said:

Your mum is making this all about her. That's the problem. She's not actually thinking about you at all.

Your relationship with your dad has absolutely nothing to do with her and frankly I'd stop bringing it up if I were you. It's none of her business.

I would 100% agree with this. 

I would add my voice to the chorus of go @Hedgecutter. Imagine you don't go, and something happens to your dad - you will think back on this chance and regret not going. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Can we have more punctured lung stories please rather than this turning into a Mumsnet/Dear Deirdre thread ffs. 

[Ron Aldo]

Can we have more punctured lung stories please rather than this turning into a Mumsnet/Dear Deirdre thread ffs. 

My uncle once slipped in the bath and landed on the tap which punctured his lung.

Don't think anyone fell out over it though so it doesn't really fit in with this topic.

[Florentine_Pogen]

36 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said:

Can we have more punctured lung stories please rather than this turning into a Mumsnet/Dear Deirdre thread ffs. 

Pneumothorax, if you don't mind................................

[SweeperDee]

My aunt stabbed my uncle with a bread knife on Christmas Eve. Punctured his lung and he was in hospital for a wee while.
They’re still together.

If that’s not love…

[ICTChris]

I get on very well with my family.  The older I get the more I realise how lucky I was in terms of my parents and the upbringing they gave me - they were reliable, stable, dependable people and we had a calm household without disruptions or drama.  I have friends whose upbringings were full of screaming rows, violence, alcohol abuse, parents playing their chilcren off against each other or using them as pawns etc.  I just can't imagine it.