Dundee 🔵⚪️ vs Partick Thistle 🔴🟡 Tuesday 28 February

[Boo Khaki]

Irony being that as time passes we're likely to see far more issues cause by excessive rain that excessive cold. I don't ever recall us having that many games called off due to a frozen pitch in any case. I remember there was a bit of bother with covering it back when we had those two back-to-back white winters around 2010'ish, but those are country-wide issues that everyone struggles with, whereas installing undersoil appears to have created problematic issues that are exclusive to Dens. Either way, I'm stull bemused that in 2023 the only approach to removing excessive water from the surface appears to be to spike the pitch and hope it fucks off. 

[jagfox]

1 hour ago, Boo Khaki said:

 the surface appears to be to spike the pitch and hope it fucks off. 

[Boo Khaki]

That's utterly saturated. It's like porridge, not a playing surface. Short of a couple of days of 30 degree heat evaporating it, where the f**k are they expecting all that water to go?

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

I blame Greta Thunberg.

Thank you.

[Boo Khaki]

46 minutes ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

I blame Greta Thunberg.

Thank you.

Well she's definitely from East of Dobbies, so I reckon you are on to something there.

[RawB93]

6 hours ago, DeeTillEhDeh said:

I get the impression that the pitch has been more difficult to maintain since the undersoil heating was installed.  Prior to that any flooding was due to run-off not escaping at the corner of the pitch - and it was the same groundsman then as well.

Was this when the "slope" was fixed you're talking about? I wonder if it actually acted as a drainage system by leading the water off/to that area of the park. 

I would have assumed that pitches were slightly convex in the same way roads are to force water off at the sides. Maybe with soil being absorbent it doesn't really work like that. Or maybe directing water to the ground where the stands are built is silly.

Edited January 15, 2023 by RawB93
typo

[Boo Khaki]

23 minutes ago, RawB93 said:

I would have assumed that pitches were slightly convex in the same way roads are to force water off at the sides. 

They usually are in high maintenance, 'prestige' stadia, you can see it usually if there's ever a pitch-level camera shot, but I highly doubt Scottish fitba stadiums that were built before the Boer War incorporate such a feature.

[forameus]

22 hours ago, Boo Khaki said:

Irony being that as time passes we're likely to see far more issues cause by excessive rain that excessive cold. I don't ever recall us having that many games called off due to a frozen pitch in any case. I remember there was a bit of bother with covering it back when we had those two back-to-back white winters around 2010'ish, but those are country-wide issues that everyone struggles with, whereas installing undersoil appears to have created problematic issues that are exclusive to Dens. Either way, I'm stull bemused that in 2023 the only approach to removing excessive water from the surface appears to be to spike the pitch and hope it fucks off. 

We'll probably get both to be honest, and many more besides.  Seems like we'll just get new extremes.  Where usually we'd get a couple of days where it gets a wee bit cold, we'll now get a week or two where it dips below zero constantly like we had a few weeks ago.  Where we'd usually get a couple of days of absolutely torrential rain, it now won't stop for the week (and then probably freeze on day 8).  Only thing we missed this year was a proper snow event like we got all those years ago, although I'm sure it's coming.  Then once we get to spring, and the pitches are on their knees having been battered by all that shite for months, we'll get the periods of unseasonably warm weather that kills off the last of the playability.

[Finlay21]

On 14/01/2023 at 12:04, johnnydun said:

Is it really that difficult to get a couple of sheets of tarpaulin?

'This section of the pitch is the only bit causing us bother.'

'Should we cover it before the next rain forecast?'

'Nah, I'll get the leaf blower out on the day, it'll be alright.'

Somerset was like that middle of last week , spiked and verti drained , then put the covers on it to protect from rain , pitch fine for the Saturday 

[Girth]

Maybe Gal’s next big signing will be a new more intimidating pitch? 

[jagfox]

6 hours ago, Girth said:

Maybe Gal’s next big signing will be a new more intimidating pitch? 

Not the best time of year for gardening?

Thank you.

[CityDave94]

On 15/01/2023 at 14:11, Boo Khaki said:

That's utterly saturated. It's like porridge, not a playing surface. Short of a couple of days of 30 degree heat evaporating it, where the f**k are they expecting all that water to go?

Have they not noticed that the stadium is at the top of a hill?

I thought Dundonian engineers were supposed to be the best in Scotland.

[jagfox]

Rescheduled for Tuesday 28 February-7.45pm kickoff.

 

[RossBFaeDundee]

Can't even be arsed, let's see if the refereeing team can find an even more inexcusable reason to chop off good goals.

[Chippyminton]

That machine making holes in the pitch represents the apocalyptic future of Scottish fitba, my friends. They aren't drainage holes at all - that machine's punching out a dimensionally-perfect sectional grid and injecting infra-red receptors in to every hole so that player positions can be microscopically mapped by GPS. Coaches can then feed data into a secret computer programme which generates constantly-updating player positions and tactical predictions, which get directly imported into player's heads via a skull-implanted microchip and sophisticated NASA-invented AI techniques.

Or Bluetooth. Or something like that.

A tubby wee specky fella in The Norseman told me today just as he was downing his 48th shot of Laphroaig before our game against Cove - so it MUST be true. Look at the absolute fucking state of some Championship players 'trendy haircuts' and witness the SPFL chip implant surgery cover-up for yourselves.

But the tech still isn't perfect. He also told me that it was secretly tried out last night using Ayr vs Raith as a test-bed. The GPS fucked up really badly, putting both sides into a 1-8-1 or 0-10-0 formation for most of the game. Terms and conditions apply.

Edited February 25, 2023 by Chippyminton

[chattyman]

26 minutes ago, Chippyminton said:

That machine making holes in the pitch represents the apocalyptic future of Scottish fitba, my friends. They aren't drainage holes at all - that machine's punching out a dimensionally-perfect sectional grid and injecting infra-red receptors in to every hole so that player positions can be microscopically mapped by GPS. Coaches can then feed data into a secret computer programme which generates constantly-updating player positions and tactical predictions, which get directly imported into player's heads via a skull-implanted microchip and sophisticated NASA-invented AI techniques.

Or Bluetooth. Or something like that.

A tubby wee specky fella in The Norseman told me today just as he was downing his 48th shot of Laphroaig before our game against Cove - so it MUST be true. Look at the absolute fucking state of some Championship players 'trendy haircuts' and witness the SPFL chip implant surgery cover-up for yourselves.

But the tech still isn't perfect. He also told me that it was secretly tried out last night using Ayr vs Raith as a test-bed. The GPS fucked up really badly, putting both sides into a 1-8-1 or 0-10-0 formation for most of the game. Terms and conditions apply.

Was wondering how McCall would spend his time away from Thistle lol

[Chippyminton]

@chattyman I fucking knew one of you clever Jags laddies would rumble him. Forgot to say = the tubby wee specky fella also told me that Ian McCall was the mastermind behind this entire clandestine project - being paid ONE MILLION SCOTTISH POUNDS per day. And folk also wonder why Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned without warning? Turns out that she'd been exposed as the designer of the bit of wire which made the holes. Just think about the skull implant surgery figure it out for yourselves. Her hair was dark brown and long. Then blonde and medium. Then ginger and short. And so on and so on. A cover-up if ever I saw one.

It just has to be true. All of it.

[Dundee-FC92]

Legzdins

Kerr Ashcroft Sweeney Clampin

Maguire Williamson 

Hannant Cameron Jakubiak

Robinson

Thank you.

 

 

[JagsCG]

I think we’ll stick with the same back 4 and midfield we played against Arbroath, would personally bring Graham back in for a start and I’d like to see us go with Fitzpatrick and Tiffoney on either side, maybe not back to full speed yet but Lawless has been really poor in the last 2 games. 

 

[Crawford]

More spectacular nonsense I'd wager.