scottsdad Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Please leave your advice and top tips here. Any subject welcome. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Molotov Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 I’m in a bit of bother over a motorhome I ”acquired”. Police are now involved. I forgot to mention anything to my wife. I’d bought it through a company I was involved with but left it parked outside my maws. Any advice on how to “leave” the country and meet up with my true love Michelle on her yacht when the police have confiscated my passport? 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Save money on expensive pedometers by simply asking Sting how many steps you've done. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathematics Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Cut pizza using scissors. Spoiler Or a pizza cutter, who gives a f**k anyway? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tongue_tied_danny Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 1 minute ago, mathematics said: Cut pizza using scissors. Hide contents Or a pizza cutter, who gives a f**k anyway? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 1 minute ago, mathematics said: Cut pizza using scissors. Reveal hidden contents Or a pizza cutter, who gives a f**k anyway? Get pizza scissors! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Windows down, heating on full blast. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RH33 Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 U ok ***? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moomintroll Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Never, ever, plant dahlias too early in the year. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lofarl Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Don't bother buying expensive carpet. Just buy two small squares and strap them to your feet. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loonytoons Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Avoid Covid, wear a mask. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Choking on an ice cube? Simply pour boiling water down your throat for instant relief. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moomintroll Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Suffering from burns from pouring boiling water down your throat? Simply swallow an ice cube for immediate relief. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nkomo-A-Gogo Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Sellotape rice krispies to your car tyres to get that expensive driveway sound. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musketeer Gripweed Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Buy Viz and you won't need to read this thread. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moomintroll Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Avoid paying for nonsensical things by reading this thread instead. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deanburn Dave Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 Don't go on a diet, just get new fatter friends so you feel slimmer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted April 25, 2023 Author Share Posted April 25, 2023 When creating a thread about advice, avoid using the term "top tips" as you'll end up inundated with recycled Viz pieces. Spoiler 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted April 25, 2023 Share Posted April 25, 2023 A Spike Milligan tip: Cold? Stand nearer Africa. It's warmer. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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