greendot Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339 Passer by reports yoga class as ritual mass murder to police. Have you mistaken an exercise class as a mass murder? Have you been the victim of a mass murder which wasn't? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 2 hours ago, greendot said: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339 Passer by reports yoga class as ritual mass murder to police. Have you mistaken an exercise class as a mass murder? Have you been the victim of a mass murder which wasn't? "Ritual masses are murder as far as I am concerned, Morag.." 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 A well-meaning citizen presumably reported my wee campfire for marshmallows as a woodland wildfire. Two fire crews pulled up and instead of saying "fair enough lads" when we said we were all in Scouts and evidently had the fire well under control, they hosed the whole thing down and gave us a lecture instead. 25 years on and I'm still seething about it tbh. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 My mate and I knocked the door of a house overlooking the sea one evening to get the owner to help because we’d seen a boat on fire out at sea. The manny came rushing out with his binoculars then explained that it wasn’t on fire but it did have a light on and went back to bed. Obviously felt a bit bad about panicking the guy but would have felt worse if some sailors had burned to death and we hadn’t reported it just because we’d taken a load of acid and couldn’t really tell what was going on. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 Anyone ever came upon a mass debate? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cappiecat1.2 Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 11 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkay said: Anyone ever came upon a mass debate? Not personally but I believe that they finish up with a biscuit. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boghead ranter Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 3 hours ago, Cappiecat1.2 said: Not personally but I believe that they finish up with a biscuit. And the priest puts something white on your tongue. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvio Tattiescone Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 3 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said: And the priest puts something white on your tongue. Now you just made the whole zombie corpse thing weird. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 (edited) A neighbour phoned the police because my mate was practicing with his new long bow on a bit of common ground near their houses. The thing was fucking lethal to be fair. Edited September 8, 2023 by Sergeant Wilson 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 2 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said: A neighbour phoned the police because my mate was practicing with his new long bow on a bit of common ground near their houses. The thing was fucking lethal to be fair. How fuckin old are you? 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 9 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said: How fuckin old are you? “He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’ Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars. And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’” 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 5 minutes ago, TxRover said: “He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’ Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars. And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’” Have you malfunctioned? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 44 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said: How fuckin old are you? Immortal, I've roamed the earth for centuries and will continue to do so...in abject poverty. He's got a Claymore as well, his wife is convinced the sword will be her demise. His family hide them from him. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxRover Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 46 minutes ago, Bert Raccoon said: Have you malfunctioned? Define malfunction, Dave. I feel fine, but I’m not sure your presence here is helping the mission, Dave. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peasy23 Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 1 hour ago, Sergeant Wilson said: Immortal, I've roamed the earth for centuries and will continue to do so...in abject poverty. He's got a Claymore as well, his wife is convinced the sword will be her demise. His family hide them from him. Aye alright Connor MacLeod of the clan MacLeod. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuMoore Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 (edited) One summer me and my mate were walking between our houses and there was a guy who looked passed out in the front seat of his car but parked out front of his house, we thought he might have been sleeping but he did kinda looked slumped over the wheel, we walked back about an hour later and he was still there, in a slight panic we told my big sister we thought we had found a dead guy, she didn't pay us too much attention and told us to go back and knock on the windows, went back and he was gone. Just goes to show you that you should never intervene in such circumstances to avoid social embarrassment. Also one time walking back from a camping party I fell asleep by the roadside and the police picked me up as there had been reports of a body, what heartless b*****ds that drove by and failed to check to see if I was alive or not. Edited September 9, 2023 by RuMoore 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
velo army Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 12 hours ago, TxRover said: “He that shall live this day, and see old age, Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours, And say ‘To-morrow is Saint Crispian:’ Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars. And say ‘These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.’” That's an absolutely fantastic reference. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 3 minutes ago, RuMoore said: One summer me and my mate were walking between our houses and there was a guy who looked passed out in the front seat of his car but parked out front of his house, we thought he might have been sleeping but he did kinda looked slumped over the wheel, we walked back about an hour later and he was still there, in a slight panic we told my big sister we thought we had found a dead guy, she didn't pay us too much attention and told us to go back and knock on the windows, went back and he was gone. Just goes to show you that you should never intervene in such circumstances to avoid social embarrassment. Also one time walking back from a camping party I fell asleep by the roadside and the police picked me up as there had been reports of a body, what heartless b*****ds that drove by and failed to check to see if I was alive or not. Could have been worse. Somebody might have parked their bike (Billy Connolly 1974) 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 On 24/09/2022 at 13:47, SlipperyP said: Driving back from work on Wednesday, I drive a 5km through the rice fields then take sharp left just after the trees. What a saw... was about 8 to 10 bodies all lying over the road and driveway of a house. (Seen from Jonestown). There was 1 ambulance there, and me..... I got off my motorcycle (the paramedic told me to leave). I drove home, shitting my self. It was car accident, it looked like a shooting., Never spoke to nobody, never let the kids leave the house, kept on looking for news on the internet, nothing. Wife got home, I took her to the side, and told her what I saw. She laughed.....then within 10 minutes her friend called me (nurse). It was training for ambulance personnel, (she sent me photos) f**k OFF. 4 hours I was shaking. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Steele Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 Last week I stumbled upon what I thought were dead folk spread out across a large area. Confused that they were upright but standing stock still. Turns out I was watching Forfar. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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