What massively low bars do you aspire to?

[DA Baracus]

Basically what incredibly low bars have you failed to clear but want to? I've listed a few, some of which might be achievable and some of which I've shamefully fucked.

 

I'm quite pished as I post this and will almost certainly regret this tomorrow, but at least I don't want to die and/or don't/won't harm myself (again). 

Anyway:

- For me a big one is that I'd love to live in a house. In fact this is one of my top two.

- Another massive one is that I'd love to have central heating.

- I'd really like to have a partner. But I've badly, badly fucked this.

- I'd like to have a career. I'm a massive tit who doesn't know what they're doing.

- I wish I could make decent money. But it seems deeply unlikely I ever will as I have no qualifications.

- I wish I had a kid(s). Quite simply I've failed here. This will haunt me until my death, which can't be too many years away. 

- Would like a wee can of Diet Coke and/or Diet Irn Bru. A couple of years ago I was so congested that I couldn't eat for three days. I used to be addicted to fizzy drinks but haven't had any since (water all the way unless I have beers; actually quite glad I drink only water now as I was drinking and spending so much on fizzy juice but wouldn't mind a wee can once in a while).

- I wish I was able to get a degree. My hefty student loan debt is all the worse for having nothing to show for it. Having near £150 a month taken from my pay is pish when I known I'll never be able to pay it all back and knowing how horribly an stupidly I fucked it. They shouldn't let folk like me in to universities, although I don't blame anyone but me.

- I wish I had a garden. I'd enjoy being able to do garden stuff.

- Most of all I wish I wasn't a massive failure piece of shit who has failed at absolutely everything in life and who has managed to f**k things so disgracefully and pathetically badly that there is no way back and only smashing a stupid amount of beers every Saturday is the only solace.

Don't worry, I'm not feeling suicidal tonight (back on medication and haven't felt suicidal for years now anyway).

I'm almost certainly going to regret this the second I hit post and I know that this is a stunningly sad and pathetic self-pitying rant of a post that should be deleted.

 

 

P.S. I've been to counselling (Aberdeen and Dundee uni counselling services plus Dunfermline Job Centre 'counselling'), I've done FFIT, I tried Man vs Fat (shat it after a week; really upset with myself over that), did some online counselling this year (which was good and gave me a valuable tool) but should have gotten help far sooner.

Edited October 15, 2023 by DA Baracus

[thomas]

I'd say I'm the same as you(especially the regretting postings I've typed and to add deleting more posts that i've put on here, alonst this one), absolutely don't want kids though,. The career thing, I work I earn wages but ultimately just to pay bills I certainly didn't envisage this would be my " career".

I'm openly envious of people who go to work in something they enjoy( wife included to a point it's annoying) I wonder why I still do what I do and get payed, ultimately I like a roof and the opportunity to enjoy my weekends that's why I work if could stop I would. I see jobs advertised for roles I know I could do but like you I don't have the qualifications.

I've got to a point where I see people about me blagging it and succeeding which really annoys me, biggest problem for me is I can't blag interviews the same way I know others have.

I guess I'm fortunate, I have a house, a fairly dynamite backdoor but not a "career" just a job that I've learned fully but know it could easily be ripped from beneath me.

If this is rambling shite I get it I had to keep going back to your post to try and keep it relevant. If anything at least you got me to put my thoughts up. I don't know if this is what you want to hear but you are not a failure, you seem to be like many of us other folk who have just made choices that put us where we are. 

[RH33]

Firstly, if you're having that amount taken from your salary for your student loan, in my opinion your earning a decent wedge. I know on my salary I don't pay any.

I have a garden, it's used for the dogs to shit in and not much else, I don't like sitting out in it.

Flat v House. I liked the flat I lived in years ago the most.

 

[throbber]

DA must be on at least £50 k if he’s paying back that much of a student loan unless he’s being shafted somehow which seems highly likely based on the hand he’s been dealt in life.

I prefer a house to a flat nowadays, mostly because of my south facing garden.

[RH33]

I did have ground floor flat with huge communal garden so was basically a house!

[mathematics]

2 minutes ago, RH33 said:

I did have ground floor flat with huge communal garden so was basically a house!

[The Moonster]

Other than the can of juice I don't think there's much in that opening post which is a "low bar". There's a number of things there that people would deem societal norms but there's also a high number of people pretending they've got a hold on that shit and they're even more miserable than you. There's also people with all of those things who aren't happy. 

You're a good guy, DA, be nicer to yourself. 

[throbber]

7 minutes ago, RH33 said:

I did have ground floor flat with huge communal garden so was basically a house!

The thing about a ground floor flat is that anyone can come to the communal garden and bang on your window or urinate against your wall.

[101]

I agree with The Moonster, most of those aren't low bar aspirations.

 

Mine would be: I'd like to be able to control a football.

[Granny Danger]

My low bar aspiration is not to post on threads where I have nothing meaningful to contribute.

I cannot see me achieving this any time soon.

 

[ICTChris]

There’s still time for all of these things DA. Even if you don’t achieve all (or any) of them, you are a great guy, we all value you. And if we do then I’m sure the people you know in real life do too.

My low bar expectation is to learn to code better than I can, which is almost not at all.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

@DA Baracus don’t know if this is relevant or not but saw it yesterday.

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/latesttip/?anchor=graduates&utm_source=MSE_Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_term=10-Oct-23-9c53e0fdb124f38a4cd-65259d453c1b23d0bdd971be4a6d7f9b&source=CRM-MSETIP-9c53e0fdb124f38a4cd&utm_campaign=nt-highlights&utm_content=5#graduates

[Central Belt Caley]

I wouldn’t say you’re a failure because you’ve not hit some goals that you wanted to. People fail at things all the time doesn’t mean you’re a failure at all. 
 

Gardens are overrated, just somewhere for the neighbours cat to shit in 

Also, I’d recommend investigating the student loan repayments. If you’re really paying £150 a month you might on the wrong plan or one of the payroll team has fucked something

Edited October 15, 2023 by Central Belt Caley

[Richey Edwards]

I used to consider myself a failure. I had no prospects, a job that I hated, I had unintentionally found ways to ruin every relationship I had. I hated myself and what I had become. Life was basically a long, drawnout chore.

I was crippled by depression and anxiety that it seemed that I could not get rid of. I eventually did seek help and after much trial and error of various therapies managed to get better, but I had lost a lot of time by then. I am still playing catchup. I didn't get into uni until I was 31.

Unfortunately, life is not a level playing field. Some of us are dealt an absolute shiter of a hand. We can only do our best.

I used to look at other people my age who appeared happier and more successful than I, and think I must be an absolute fucking loser. However, someone once said to me that "comparison is the thief of joy". That has always stuck with me. We will never be happy if we're always comparing ourselves to others. Life is not a competition, and it is not a race. Life is not linear.

 

Be good to yourself, @DA Baracus. Don't beat yourself up over the past, or what you think you should have had. You're not a failure.

 

[Boghead ranter]

4 hours ago, 101 said:

 

Mine would be: I'd like to be able to control a football.

Which Dumbarton player are you, please?

[Shandon Par]

@DA Baracusis living the dream in many respects. So many of the things he wishes for have their drawbacks too. Pressures of keeping a wife happy. Pressure to keep a home in top condition. Paying for a kid/uni etc. Pressure of running a business. Hateful gardening. 
Pretty sure everyone on here respects Baracus’ posting as he’s witty and literate. Puts himself down too much thinking a partner wouldn’t be interested in him. 

[Moomintroll]

11 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Basically what incredibly low bars have you failed to clear but want to? I've listed a few, some of which might be achievable and some of which I've shamefully fucked.

 

I'm quite pished as I post this and will almost certainly regret this tomorrow, but at least I don't want to die and/or don't/won't harm myself (again). 

Anyway:

- For me a big one is that I'd love to live in a house. In fact this is one of my top two.

- Another massive one is that I'd love to have central heating.

- I'd really like to have a partner. But I've badly, badly fucked this.

- I'd like to have a career. I'm a massive tit who doesn't know what they're doing.

- I wish I could make decent money. But it seems deeply unlikely I ever will as I have no qualifications.

- I wish I had a kid(s). Quite simply I've failed here. This will haunt me until my death, which can't be too many years away. 

- Would like a wee can of Diet Coke and/or Diet Irn Bru. A couple of years ago I was so congested that I couldn't eat for three days. I used to be addicted to fizzy drinks but haven't had any since (water all the way unless I have beers; actually quite glad I drink only water now as I was drinking and spending so much on fizzy juice but wouldn't mind a wee can once in a while).

- I wish I was able to get a degree. My hefty student loan debt is all the worse for having nothing to show for it. Having near £150 a month taken from my pay is pish when I known I'll never be able to pay it all back and knowing how horribly an stupidly I fucked it. They shouldn't let folk like me in to universities, although I don't blame anyone but me.

- I wish I had a garden. I'd enjoy being able to do garden stuff.

- Most of all I wish I wasn't a massive failure piece of shit who has failed at absolutely everything in life and who has managed to f**k things so disgracefully and pathetically badly that there is no way back and only smashing a stupid amount of beers every Saturday is the only solace.

Don't worry, I'm not feelin honestly I regardg suicidal tonight (back on medication and haven't felt suicidal for years now anyway).

I'm almost certainly going to regret this the second I hit post and I know that this is a stunningly sad and pathetic self-pitying rant of a post that should be deleted.

 

 

P.S. I've been to counselling (Aberdeen and Dundee uni counselling services plus Dunfermline Job Centre 'counselling'), I've done FFIT, I tried Man vs Fat (shat it after a week; really upset with myself over that), did some online counselling this year (which was good and gave me a valuable tool) but should have gotten help far sooner.

DA, honestly I regard waking up every day as an achievement, everything else is a bonus. Keep talking on here & know there are loads of us to talk to who have been in similar places. You aren't alone but I know it seems like it a lot, birthday caird pish but a good day is just round the corner. DM me any time it gets too much.

[2426255]

7 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

@DA Baracusis living the dream in many respects. So many of the things he wishes for have their drawbacks too. Pressures of keeping a wife happy. Pressure to keep a home in top condition. Paying for a kid/uni etc. Pressure of running a business. Hateful gardening. 
Pretty sure everyone on here respects Baracus’ posting as he’s witty and literate. Puts himself down too much thinking a partner wouldn’t be interested in him. 

Astroturf is always greener.

Edited October 15, 2023 by 2426255

[Moomintroll]

Just now, 2426255 said:

Grass is always greener.

I have astroturf *insert Killie pitch joke here* one less thing to worry about.

[coprolite]