What massively low bars do you aspire to?

[LuboMoravcik]

2 hours ago, velo army said:

As a grammar pedant you should aim to refrain from ending your thread title with a preposition .

I'm with Bennett on the allotment recommendation. I don't have one anymore, but when I lived in Glasgow I had an allotment next to Barrowfield (and yes, the tattie crop was incredible) and I've seldom had that much fun. It was magical. I tend to link depression with living an unnatural life, and part of that is being out of sync with the seasons and the earth. Get on it man.

Another thing. I imagine you're avoiding this thread due to the massive vulnerability hangover you'll be experiencing, but in case you read it I would say that alcohol is a massive depressant and while you drink you'll exacerbate any shame or anxiety which has been hitherto latent (or just on the surface) so don't confuse drunken self talk with truth (in vino veritas may be a cool aphorism, but it isn't true). 

There isn't such a thing as an objectively low bar. Some people with secure attachment styles find relationships a dawdle. I have an anxious avoidant style and have been single for most of my life due to my finding connection unbearable beyond the initial few dates. So for you that sounds like a very high bar. I don't know how much you know about attachment styles, but given what you've shared about your upbringing on here and how you present at times I'd respectfully suggest that having a relationship for you isn't a low bar at all.

"Low bars" that I aspire to are being married or in a loving long-term relationship. I have done so much fucking work on myself and I finally feel ready to step into this, but it's absolutely not a low bar for me. I've wrestled with depression, addiction and suicidal ideation for most of my adult life but I've been on so many deep dives through therapy, men's groups, workshops, training weekends and other stuff that I've now arrived at a place where I'm able to finally share myself with someone. It's taken a long time and a lot of tenacity, so for me it isn't a low bar at all, it's fucking Everest. 

I also want my Grade 8 piano, which I would get if I just focused up and practiced. Also playing professionally (weddings etc) and getting my psychology degree finished.

Be gentle with yourself my friend. And, most of all,  be gentle with those who still call it the SPL. 

 

[101]

1 hour ago, Sortmeout said:

To have £10,000 in my savings account.

Very low bar, there was a guy on here claiming to have found the best part of £20k last week that he had forgotten about.

[scottsdad]

I've been contemplating death a lot this year and that brings out the "what is actually important?" internal discussion. 

I just want to be as good a dad to my kids as my dad was to me. 

Most other things are material and in the end they don't matter one jot. 

['WellDel]

 A lot of bar setting has always been done by people comparing themselves to others and aiming for what are perceived to be societal norms and indicators of success. To that end, the modern cancer that is social media has warped these expectations to such an extent that I'd happily see Facebook, Instagram and the rest obliterated from existence. There's so much damage done to folk from body dysmorphia and mental wellbeing, to people getting themselves into all sorts of financial distress, all because they feel they need to try and keep up with the others in this completely false and fabricated online world.

I've never had Instagram, ditched Facebook months ago and never interact on Twitter. My account there is purely for following a handful of (mainly) football and funny pages for a laugh here and there. I'd recommend a similar approach to social media consumption to anyone. Don't waste your time scrolling through endless posts of folk bragging and exaggerating every single thing they do just to try and look successful. It's 99% made up, vacuous shite.

Everyone is different and as a result, so are the paths their lives take. What we have materially is f**k all, it's what we have in terms of contentment that matters. What I'd say to you, DA, is put down that big stick you keep beating yourself with and think firstly of you. You're quite evidently a decent cnut by your posts and musings on here. You have a lot to offer. Cut out all the unnecessary bullshit and noise from elsewhere and just think about what would actually make you happy, not what you think would make you appear successful in the eyes of others. Things will fall into place if you just take the pressure off yourself.

[scottsdad]

1 minute ago, 'WellDel said:

 A lot of bar setting has always been done by people comparing themselves to others and aiming for what are perceived to be societal norms and indicators of success. To that end, the modern cancer that is social media has warped these expectations to such an extent that I'd happily see Facebook, Instagram and the rest obliterated from existence. There's so much damage done to folk from body dysmorphia and mental wellbeing, to people getting themselves into all sorts of financial distress, all because they feel they need to try and keep up with the others in this completely false and fabricated online world.

I've never had Instagram, ditched Facebook months ago and never interact on Twitter. My account there is purely for following a handful of (mainly) football and funny pages for a laugh here and there. I'd recommend a similar approach to social media consumption to anyone. Don't waste your time scrolling through endless posts of folk bragging and exaggerating every single thing they do just to try and look successful. It's 99% made up, vacuous shite.

Everyone is different and as a result, so are the paths their lives take. What we have materially is f**k all, it's what we have in terms of contentment that matters. What I'd say to you, DA, is put down that big stick you keep beating yourself with and think firstly of you. You're quite evidently a decent cnut by your posts and musings on here. You have a lot to offer. Cut out all the unnecessary bullshit and noise from elsewhere and just think about what would actually make you happy, not what you think would make you appear successful in the eyes of others. Things will fall into place if you just take the pressure off yourself.

Being of a certain age (44) I have seen life pre- and post-social media. It is an absolute cancer. Even musicians now cater their (2 minute long) songs to it. Yes, you, Megan Trainor. It has utterly destroyed lives. 

Folk born after, say, 1995 just don't see it. 

[101]

1 minute ago, scottsdad said:

Folk born after, say, 1995 just don't see it. 

We can see it, but there is f**k all we can do about it, other than look forward to the impending collapse of society and the cold embrace of a nuclear winter.

[Derry Alli]

1 hour ago, 101 said:

Very low bar, there was a guy on here claiming to have found the best part of £20k last week that he had forgotten about.

[Miguel Sanchez]

4 minutes ago, Derry Alli said:

A fellow Dee, no less @Sugar_Army

[Derry Pele]

At 28 I know I have donks ahead of me (not that it’s guaranteed), but I keep my bar really low:

Have a salary that starts with a 3. Assuming it keeps up with inflation from there on in, I’ll be “fine” financially. 

Be mortgage free by 60, then I can hopefully do what I want in terms of work. 

Do one thing that will allow me to say “I did that” when I meet my maker. No clue what it will be, could be anything from saving a life to being one of the chauffeurs that do the road trip from London to Disneyland for sick kids - I want to get that sense of fulfilment from life so I can live and die in the knowledge that I made a positive impact on the world. 

[scottsdad]

2 minutes ago, Derry Pele said:

At 28 I know I have donks ahead of me (not that it’s guaranteed), but I keep my bar really low:

Have a salary that starts with a 3. Assuming it keeps up with inflation from there on in, I’ll be “fine” financially. 

Be mortgage free by 60, then I can hopefully do what I want in terms of work. 

Do one thing that will allow me to say “I did that” when I meet my maker. No clue what it will be, could be anything from saving a life to being one of the chauffeurs that do the road trip from London to Disneyland for sick kids - I want to get that sense of fulfilment from life so I can live and die in the knowledge that I made a positive impact on the world. 

£3999 a year is tough to get by on. 

[Granny Danger]

1 hour ago, scottsdad said:

I've been contemplating death a lot this year and that brings out the "what is actually important?" internal discussion. 

I just want to be as good a dad to my kids as my dad was to me. 

Most other things are material and in the end they don't matter one jot. 

That’s an easy thing to say if you’re financially comfortable.  Across various threads it is apparent that there are regular posters on here who struggle financially and who aren’t aiming for riches but just a bit of stability. 

[scottsdad]

Just now, Granny Danger said:

That’s an easy thing to say if you’re financially comfortable.  Across various threads it is apparent that there are regular posters on here who struggle financially and who aren’t aiming for riches but just a bit of stability. 

True enough. But this is where my head space is right now. 

 

[Sugar_Army]

36 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

A fellow Dee, no less @Sugar_Army

The £20,000 story is embarrassingly true but if you read my follow up post it would give you a bit of context.  (We were saving for to pay cash to my sisters for my family home rather than getting a mortgage and Mrs SA was always changing bank accounts to get best deals etc). To add to that we had been switching a lot over a 10yr period.

I also admitted that while I was no way bragging about money it did come across as a bit "ooh look at me and how rich I am" which I definitely  am not.

As fir me being a Dee. 

[Granny Danger]

4 minutes ago, Sugar_Army said:

The £20,000 story is embarrassingly true but if you read my follow up post it would give you a bit of context.  (We were saving for to pay cash to my sisters for my family home rather than getting a mortgage and Mrs SA was always changing bank accounts to get best deals etc). To add to that we had been switching a lot over a 10yr period.

I also admitted that while I was no way bragging about money it did come across as a bit "ooh look at me and how rich I am" which I definitely  am not.

As fir me being a Dee. 

If you’d been a Dee you would have only got 6p in the pound.

[Sugar_Army]

7 minutes ago, Granny Danger said:

If you’d been a Dee you would have only got 6p in the pound.

.  I confess I did put some coinage in their buckets. 

After all it would have been rude not to as they have given me so many wonderful footballing memories down the years.

[sugna]

15 hours ago, velo army said:

As a grammar pedant…

I also want my Grade 8 piano, which I would get if I just focused up and practiced.  

I had the option of asking you more about the level of practice involved, as I am about to pick up - again - trying to reach a very basic standard, and would value some insight into the commitment and process; or taking a cheap swipe. It was no contest, so I will remain unenlightened.

[velo army]

6 minutes ago, sugna said:

I had the option of asking you more about the level of practice involved, as I am about to pick up - again - trying to reach a very basic standard, and would value some insight into the commitment and process; or taking a cheap swipe. It was no contest, so I will remain unenlightened.

Happy to help if you want to drop me a pm mate. 

[throbber]

@DA Baracus 

Have you thought about getting another pocket pussy?

[Bert Raccoon]

13 minutes ago, throbber said:

@DA Baracus 

Have you thought about getting another pocket pussy?

Like for like replacements thread for this 

[oneteaminglasgow]

I’d like to be able to drive a car.

I have a licence, and when I was getting lessons it was fine-ish but ever since passing my test I am absolutely terrified by the prospect of driving. I’ve done it a handful of times in the 6 years since I passed and I’ve ended up drenched in sweat every time from panicking.

At the minute, I have no need to drive so it’s fine but I’m hoping to have a family one day and I’d like to be able to at least do short trips or do it in an emergency then.