Wee-Bey Posted December 18, 2023 Author Share Posted December 18, 2023 1 week to go lads. Also a bump to say your fellow posters are voting for Pie and Bovril's 100 Top TV shows of all time over on the TV and Film Forum, if you would like to join in over the festive period. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Florentine_Pogen Posted December 20, 2023 Share Posted December 20, 2023 https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/dec/20/risk-of-penile-fractures-rises-at-christmas-doctors-find "It may be the season of loving and giving, but doctors have warned against embracing this spirit too enthusiastically – at least where sexual relations are concerned. They have discovered that the Christmas period is associated with a significantly increased risk of penile fractures – a medical emergency in which the erection-producing regions of the penis snap, usually as a result of forceful bending during over-enthusiastic sexual intercourse." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 The wifwme wanted new pyjamas for Christmas so I've procured these. Would it be frowned upon to wrap up the top and bottoms separately to make it seem like two presents? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 21 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said: The wifwme wanted new pyjamas for Christmas so I've procured these. Would it be frowned upon to wrap up the top and bottoms separately to make it seem like two presents? Not by anyone important. Me and the wife have elected not to buy eachother gifts this year. And I know what you are all going to say. That's why I'm way ahead of you and have got here a voucher for a local holistic therapy place. The big decision for me now is, do I wait and see if she gets me something first then play my ace, or do I play it first and make her feel bad? Or..... Do I respect the non gifting then give her it on boxing day and seem like a good guy.... Options. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 1 hour ago, Bairnardo said: Not by anyone important. Me and the wife have elected not to buy eachother gifts this year. And I know what you are all going to say. That's why I'm way ahead of you and have got here a voucher for a local holistic therapy place. The big decision for me now is, do I wait and see if she gets me something first then play my ace, or do I play it first and make her feel bad? Or..... Do I respect the non gifting then give her it on boxing day and seem like a good guy.... Options. Hold it back. If she gets you something, you can come back with "Well, I got you this, too" pulling out your voucher, and you guys will be like this: And if she hasn't got you anything then you reveal it at lunchtime-ish, taking a victory lap for the rest of the day. Oh, and if she hits you with "But we agreed.." then the line to take is "I know...but I couldn't bear the thought of not getting you something for Christmas". This will lead to 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wee-Bey Posted December 21, 2023 Author Share Posted December 21, 2023 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 (edited) A bit early but seeing I flew to spend the holidays with Mrs SA's family today, Merry Christmas to you all when it comes. It was an interesting day to say the least dressed like this. Edited December 21, 2023 by Sugar_Army 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 I haven't even got round to putting the tree up yet. Ah well 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 10 hours ago, Sugar_Army said: A bit early but seeing I flew to spend the holidays with Mrs SA's family today, Merry Christmas to you all when it comes. It was an interesting day to say the least dressed like this. Did you wear it on the plane again? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 I travelled alone, and that is dangerous for me as I always end up in fun situations At airport check-in they frisked Santa and during conversation they pointed out a colleague should be on my naughty list as he got his gf pregnant. I told them that it was too late for condoms as a gift and the baby will be too early for my next gig in December next year. I added that I am quite happy about that as while delivering gifts is my forte, delivering babies is not! In departures I started off with over 100 candy sweets to give away. By the time I landed I had none (for the record, always ask the parents first and never approach children). On the plane the cabin crew asked me to stay back so they and pilot could get a selfie. They said the shuttle to terminal will just have to wait...I said that that is easy for them to say but they are not the ones having to do the walk of shame to get on a bus with a load of pissed off, delayed passengers. I congratulated the pilot for his landing in windy conditions but added that it would have been a piece of piss for Rudolph and I in our sleigh. I got to passport control and handed over both my passport and Santa's passport (it has my Santa pic in it). They loved the latter and asked if they could take pics of my North Pole Passport (probably checking if I was on a nonce no-fly list). His colleague then asked if she could get a selfie round the back of the booth (and yes she was hot). At first I wondered if the was code for strip search. Strangely enough, I still agreed to it. So while others waited in the queue the three of us disappeared around the back of the booth to do the dirty deed...a pic! Fun day. Think at some point Santa will be going to the shops for some last minute Christmas shopping. That is always fun. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Naitch Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 1 hour ago, Sugar_Army said: I travelled alone, and that is dangerous for me as I always end up in fun situations At airport check-in they frisked Santa and during conversation they pointed out a colleague should be on my naughty list as he got his gf pregnant. I told them that it was too late for condoms as a gift and the baby will be too early for my next gig in December next year. I added that I am quite happy about that as while delivering gifts is my forte, delivering babies is not! In departures I started off with over 100 candy sweets to give away. By the time I landed I had none (for the record, always ask the parents first and never approach children). On the plane the cabin crew asked me to stay back so they and pilot could get a selfie. They said the shuttle to terminal will just have to wait...I said that that is easy for them to say but they are not the ones having to do the walk of shame to get on a bus with a load of pissed off, delayed passengers. I congratulated the pilot for his landing in windy conditions but added that it would have been a piece of piss for Rudolph and I in our sleigh. I got to passport control and handed over both my passport and Santa's passport (it has my Santa pic in it). They loved the latter and asked if they could take pics of my North Pole Passport (probably checking if I was on a nonce no-fly list). His colleague then asked if she could get a selfie round the back of the booth (and yes she was hot). At first I wondered if the was code for strip search. Strangely enough, I still agreed to it. So while others waited in the queue the three of us disappeared around the back of the booth to do the dirty deed...a pic! Fun day. Think at some point Santa will be going to the shops for some last minute Christmas shopping. That is always fun. It’s brilliant that you bring so much joy to folk every year doing that. Top work! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 (edited) Cheers. Dressing up as Santa started about 20 years back due to my late father being in hospital for what we knew was going to be his last Christmas (nae Wham! jokes please!). Having bought the initial suit (the one in the pic is the latesr one) I have ended up playing Santa at work to raise money for toy appeals and parties for kids in care/kinship care, photo opps for collecting gifts from general public, to visiting and dropping off things on neighbours door steps and fun at the airport. I love the interaction with the public. There must be a bit of an exhibitionist in me. As long as you cannot tell it is me I am fine with it. On the flip side, I know through my job that Christmas is not the best time of year for everybody so I do not go forcing people to interact with me...hopefully my Santa is seen as somebody that makes people smile and not some weirdo in a red suit running about shouting "look at me!" The downside, even Santa has been unable to rustle up pair of tickets for any Scotland games in the UEFA ballot so me and Elf are gonna be disappointed once my sack is emptied at Christmas (feel free to insert Kenneth Williams emoji). Edited December 22, 2023 by Sugar_Army 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 Only this week I discovered Bob Dylan has a Christmas song. It's called "Must be Santa" and its a rip roaring good time/ 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 9 minutes ago, Sugar_Army said: ...hopefully my Santa is seem as somebody that makes people smile and not some weirdo in a red suit running about shouting "look at me!" 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 (edited) 18 hours ago, Sugar_Army said: A bit early but seeing I flew to spend the holidays with Mrs SA's family today, Merry Christmas to you all when it comes. It was an interesting day to say the least dressed like this. Edited December 22, 2023 by HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugar_Army Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 I really should red dot you for such an accusation 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted December 23, 2023 Share Posted December 23, 2023 Off out to buy the Christmas food today. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted December 23, 2023 Share Posted December 23, 2023 1 hour ago, ICTChris said: Off out to buy the Christmas food today. Deserve all you get for leaving it till a Saturday, 2 days before tbh 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 23, 2023 Share Posted December 23, 2023 On 20/12/2023 at 12:04, Florentine_Pogen said: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/dec/20/risk-of-penile-fractures-rises-at-christmas-doctors-find "It may be the season of loving and giving, but doctors have warned against embracing this spirit too enthusiastically – at least where sexual relations are concerned. They have discovered that the Christmas period is associated with a significantly increased risk of penile fractures – a medical emergency in which the erection-producing regions of the penis snap, usually as a result of forceful bending during over-enthusiastic sexual intercourse." Happened to me once; wouldn't recommend it. Thankfully healed without issue, but there's nothing more panic-inducing than looking down at your stauner and seeing it bent over at a right angle with a floppy portion in the middle, especially when you'd no idea that was something that could happen. Silly cow had the cheek to complain that she'd hurt her pubic bone on me too. Really, did you fucking fracture it? -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 23, 2023 Share Posted December 23, 2023 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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