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Jakes on a plane


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I can’t imagine anything worse than being on a plane where a bunch of drunk people start fighting. If it happens the flight should divert into international air space and then, freed from the constraints of the law, the cabin crew should be allowed the brutally restrain them and throw them to their deaths into the open ocean. Maybe they could be hanged from the fuselage like that bit in Scarface as a warning to the other morons.

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12 hours ago, ICTChris said:

I can’t imagine anything worse than being on a plane where a bunch of drunk people start fighting. If it happens the flight should divert into international air space and then, freed from the constraints of the law, the cabin crew should be allowed the brutally restrain them and throw them to their deaths into the open ocean. Maybe they could be hanged from the fuselage like that bit in Scarface as a warning to the other morons.

Seems harsh. 

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On 22/02/2024 at 11:52, Bialystock said:

No, I'm German. But how did you know my name was Walter?

This has to be one of the greatest posts in this sites history. 

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The closest I've come to seeing a fight on a plane was on the Wonky Sheep flight to Georgia last November when some steaming loudmouth kept calling out all of the bald Scotland fans for their lack of hair (despite him only having about three patches of it). One of the passengers had enough of it which resulted in a shouting match between various voices across the plane, all directed at the loudmouth, but it all fizzled out by the time everyone got off. The majority of the flight were in the same hotel and shared buses to it, but I was both relieved and disappointed I didn't get to see if the shenanigans carried into the night. 

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I missed a kerfuffle on a flight from Singapore to Amsterdam once which ended up the dutch polis coming on the plane at Schipol as soon as the doors opened and lifting some boy.In my defence Id been working 72 days straight and had partaking in many free vodkas in the lounge and was fast asleep as soon as I sat down which in turn was a waste as I was up in business class and never even got fully reclined.Heard a few folk speaking about it as we were waiting to get off and seemingly the boy had a meltdown at a stewardess over a meal 

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7 hours ago, TheScarf said:

This has to be one of the greatest posts in this sites history. 

Cheers for that. I've been using that line ever since I opened the front door in my dressing gown. An unusual place to have a front door right enough. 

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1 hour ago, Bialystock said:

Cheers for that. I've been using that line ever since I opened the front door in my dressing gown. An unusual place to have a front door right enough. 

I fell over laughing at this. The wife said "Did you fall", and I said "No, I'm trying to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket"

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On 22/02/2024 at 13:12, BFTD said:

I wonder how many people only know that Chic Murray joke from Billy Connolly.

Me, for one.

Yup, on Parkinson. I've seen bits and pieces of Chic Murray but never that. It"s still one of my favourite lines/jokes though. D'you know I was in the Olympic village in Munich in 1972.........

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18 hours ago, Bialystock said:

Yup, on Parkinson. I've seen bits and pieces of Chic Murray but never that. It"s still one of my favourite lines/jokes though. D'you know I was in the Olympic village in Munich in 1972.........

Poor Walter was probably shot dead.

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21 hours ago, Bialystock said:

Cheers for that. I've been using that line ever since I opened the front door in my dressing gown. An unusual place to have a front door right enough. 

That reminds me of the time I shocked my postman by coming to the door naked. He was surprised I knew where he lived.

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14 minutes ago, sugna said:

That reminds me of the time I shocked my postman by coming to the door naked. He was surprised I knew where he lived.

He drew a gun. I drew a gun.

Suddenly, we were surrounded by lovely drawings of guns

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I rang the bell of I think the same B&B, whereupon the landlady appeared at an outside window. “What do you want?”, she asked. “I want to stay here”, I replied. “Well, stay there then”, she said and closed the window.

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44 minutes ago, Lofarl said:

Apparently it used to be all the rage for pilots to be up all night with the stewardesses and a bag of coke.

Hardly any crashes, so clearly it's fine. Probably say they drink better when blitzed.

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