Hedgecutter Posted May 25 Author Share Posted May 25 I'm also quite bad at applying football songs to everyday life. Yesterday morning for example: "Carol Kirkwood, she's one of our own". 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 1 hour ago, pozbaird said: There’s a few of the song lyrics ones I do too…. ’Giant steps are what you take, walking in Dunoon’ 11 minutes ago, BFTD said: Noted paedophile Jonathan King released an execrable album that had a series of (terrible) songs with the same drumbeat, each one from a different genre. I think hearing clips from it on breakfast TV warped my brain at a young age, as it's been trying to apply his shitening techniques ever since. #Everyone's gone to Dunoon# 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lofarl Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 While I don’t really like Star Wars. But occasionally when automatic doors open in front of me I do the Jedi hand gesture thing 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carpetmonster Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 2 hours ago, 'WellDel said: I also like to alter song lyrics to my own juvenile versions. Changing baby to boaby is a favourite, e.g. Soft Cell 'Touch ma boaby Tainted Love', or Britney Spears, 'Touch ma boaby one more time'. Mainly get enjoyment because it irks the wife every time tbh. Yeah, I have a whole set list of ‘swear songs’, as the wife calls them. The one I sing to the baby most often is based on ‘All My Loving’ by The Beatles and goes ‘Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you Tomorrow I’ll fist you On Tuesday I’ll douse you in cum And then while you’re away I’ll tell men that I’m gay And see if they’ll fondle my bum’ TBF, if his first word turns out to be ‘fist’ then she’ll have had a point. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richey Edwards Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 Parking my car right on the line that divides parking spaces so I can pretend that I'm driving a monorail. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 Just now, Richey Edwards said: Parking my car right on the line that divides parking spaces so I can pretend that I'm driving a monorail. Should try it on the roads. The phrase "tear along the dotted line" exists for a reason. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buchan30 Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 26 minutes ago, Lofarl said: While I don’t really like Star Wars. But occasionally when automatic doors open in front of me I do the Jedi hand gesture thing I am 41, a few of the doors between certain wards at my work have that type of automatic door and i do this every single time. When i get tired of this, i shall be tired of life. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 I do the automatic door hand gesture thing; I didn't even know why I did it anymore until this thread just reminded me. Not that I'd forgotten about Star Wars, just that it's such an ingrained thing, like how Catholics probably don't even register crossing themselves past a certain point. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s_dog Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 3 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I say "Echo, shut the f*** up" simply cause it entertains me that it actually works. I say thanks when my Google thingmy tells me "ok your alarm is set for....". I might try telling it to shut the f**k up next time. It'll probably just say "sorry I didn't understand that request" because it's shit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 Driving towards a red light, I slow down a bit and say "three...two...one" in the hopes that the light will change colour right at the end of the countdown. Managed it when my kid was wee and she thought I had some kind of superpower. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 4 hours ago, Hedgecutter said: I'm also quite bad at applying football songs to everyday life. Yesterday morning for example: "Carol Kirkwood, she's one of our own". She does what she wants... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superwell87 Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 5 hours ago, Venti said: When refilling the bird feeder I always whistle to see if the birds will fly down & land on me like some Disney film. (Never happens) You mean it disney happen? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spyro Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 18 minutes ago, scottsdad said: Driving towards a red light, I slow down a bit and say "three...two...one" in the hopes that the light will change colour right at the end of the countdown. Managed it when my kid was wee and she thought I had some kind of superpower. I bet you flash your lights at temporary traffics lights as well 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FK1Bairn Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 6 hours ago, pozbaird said: Don’t have them too often, but when I have a McDonalds burger and fries, I eat all the fries first, before unwrapping and eating the burger. Never have them together. I’m the most unfussy eater, a McDonalds is the only meal I do anything different with at all. Everything else, I just eat it. No idea why a McDonalds is any different. I do that too! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 Sign me up for eating all of my McDonalds chips first. Every time. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 6 hours ago, tongue_tied_danny said: When I'm using the microwave, I always open the door when there's one second left on the timer. I pretend that I'm James Bond and that I've just de-fused a bomb. I tried reading that to my wife but had to let her read it herself as I couldn’t stop laughing. 6 hours ago, Richey Edwards said: Give daft nicknames to people that I never call them to their face. ^^^ Bitchy Jedward. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Central Belt Caley Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 Everytime I’m in Tesco and using scan as you shop I’ll guess a scanner in my mind and then scan my clubcard and hope it lands on the one I picked. Closest I’ve managed is one away from the scanner I picked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomersetBairn Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 Me too on the McDonalds fries. I believe it's cause they go cold quicker than the burger does... My dwtyd is to fold my empty crisp/ sweetie packets, empty bags, into a wee triangle.... https://www.instructables.com/Crisp-packet-folding/ 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RiffRaff Posted May 25 Share Posted May 25 7 minutes ago, SomersetBairn said: 7 minutes ago, SomersetBairn said: My dwtyd is to fold my empty crisp/ sweetie packets, empty bags, into a wee triangle I make a bow tie, could never get the hang of making triangles with confectionery wrappers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted May 25 Author Share Posted May 25 14 minutes ago, SomersetBairn said: My dwtyd is to fold my empty crisp/ sweetie packets, empty bags, into a wee triangle.... Me 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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