Dee Man Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 You'll be getting a Colonoscopy and endoscopy soon. The good news is they use different cameras. You'll be coeliac, you have had your last wheat based product. I got that last time and they found nothing wrong. Without going into too much detail, Ive been passing blood most times I shite for years which they think is due to internal haemorrhoids. I got a finger up the arse today as well - "You may feel a little pressure here" - it felt like she'd driven the Flying Scotsman up there. Enjoy your supper everyone. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DDcups Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Thinking that 'a cup' is in any way an acceptable unit of measurement in cooking It is a acceptable measure. That's why you get the measuring cup sets, 1/4 cup 1/2 cup and 1 cup you get the picture. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 It is a acceptable measure. That's why you get the measuring cup sets, 2 girls and 1 cup you get the picture. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I got that last time and they found nothing wrong. Without going into too much detail, Ive been passing blood most times I shite for years which they think is due to internal haemorrhoids. I got a finger up the arse today as well - "You may feel a little pressure here" - it felt like she'd driven the Flying Scotsman up there. Enjoy your supper everyone. If it's internal piles or an anal fissure it's the same thing, a burst vein up your arse. Incredibly painful, you have my sympathy brother. Thankfully in my case there was a quick solution, within 12 hours or so. You just need to squidge some powerful cortisone or steroid cream up there and you'll be sorted. If your GP won't give you a script demand to see a Proctologist (arse doctor). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I got that last time and they found nothing wrong. Without going into too much detail, Ive been passing blood most times I shite for years which they think is due to internal haemorrhoids. I got a finger up the arse today as well - "You may feel a little pressure here" - it felt like she'd driven the Flying Scotsman up there. Enjoy your supper everyone.The NHS line between some discomfort and agonising is a bit vague. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 If it's internal piles or an anal fissure it's the same thing, a burst vein up your arse. Incredibly painful, you have my sympathy brother. Thankfully in my case there was a quick solution, within 12 hours or so. You just need to squidge some powerful cortisone or steroid cream up there and you'll be sorted. If your GP won't give you a script demand to see a Proctologist (arse doctor). The thing is, I've never experienced any pain or discomfort. The last time they said it must be a split pile so I got them banded, sorted me out for about a week then back to the blood when I shite. I'll take you're advise and see a proctologist. I stand by what I said though; there is no way that was only an index finger up there today. How the gays get pleasure out of that is beyond me. Each to their own though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 The thing is, I've never experienced any pain or discomfort. The last time they said it must be a split pile so I got them banded, sorted me out for about a week then back to the blood when I shite. I'll take you're advise and see a proctologist. I stand by what I said though; there is no way that was only an index finger up there today. How the gays get pleasure out of that is beyond me. Each to their own though. You'll be hoping you don't get a colonoscopy then. Horrendous. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Wirebrush and Dettol should cure your ailments. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 You'll be hoping you don't get a colonoscopy then. Horrendous. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 If it's just a bit of wet blood and not pints I wouldn't worry about it. Wee bits of dried blood could be bad. If it doesn't hurt forget about it. Arse problems are for life but hopefully they'll only get jaws on the throat vicious once in a while. And I doubt many gay men with anal fissures take it up the arse, even with a safe word. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 People that go to the doctors. We're Scottish for f**k sake. Just ignore it and it will go away/you will die, delete as applicable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praw Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 It is a acceptable measure. That's why you get the measuring cup sets, 1/4 cup 1/2 cup and 1 cup you get the picture. Bit more complicated than that, depends on the type of ingredient being measured.... Liquids 1 tsp = 6ml 1 tbsp = 15ml 1/8 cup = 30ml 1/4 cup = 60ml 1/2 cup = 120ml 1 cup = 240ml Dried ingredients 1 tsp = 5g 1 tbsp = 15g 1oz = 28g 1 cup flour = 150g 1 cup caster sugar = 225g 1 cup icing sugar = 115g 1 cup brown sugar = 175g 1 cup sultanas = 200g Butter 1/8 cup = 30g 1/4 cup = 55g 1/3 cup = 75g 1/2 cup = 115g 2/3 cup = 150g 3/4 cup = 170g 1 cup = 225g 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 You'll be hoping you don't get a colonoscopy then. Horrendous. I got both the endoscopy and colonoscopy earlier on this year. At least you're pre-drugged for that and it's nowhere near the circumference of an "index finger"/ giant redwood log. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 I got both the endoscopy and colonoscopy earlier on this year. At least you're pre-drugged for that and it's nowhere near the circumference of an "index finger"/ giant redwood log.Drugs...ya wimp! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dosser-fae-the-shire Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Drugs...ya wimp! Aye, this. I've had both and was told that the drugs don't make much of a difference so went without. Watching the monitor when a camera is up yir arse was a bit surreal. Seeing biopsies being taken was worse though. I could have just not watched I suppose. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Aye, this. I've had both and was told that the drugs don't make much of a difference so went without. Watching the monitor when a camera is up yir arse was a bit surreal. Seeing biopsies being taken was worse though. I could have just not watched I suppose. It's rude to refuse free drugs when offered. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Got woken up this morning with a call from the health centre to tell me I've got iron deficiency anaemia. Turns out my blood count is less than half of what it should be and they were considering a blood transfusion but have told me to take iron tablets for a month first. What a waste of a fiver that Cordosyl was - I might drop it off at Redhead's later. The wife had iron tablets for almost a year after the wean was born; couldn't stand up without falling over for months. Her turds practically clanged every time they hit the porcelain. Colonoscopy is a piece of piss - the worst part is the fasting and chemical enema beforehand. And no, I'd hardly ever taken it up the arse beforehand, you bunch of fucking comedians 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 The wife had iron tablets for almost a year after the wean was born; couldn't stand up without falling over for months. Her turds practically clanged every time they hit the porcelain. Colonoscopy is a piece of piss - the worst part is the fasting and chemical enema beforehand. And no, I'd hardly ever taken it up the arse beforehand, you bunch of fucking comedians Is she banned from Ikea for knicking fridge magnets. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 You are unquestionably the least metal person I have ever encountered. The insults continue! Although it does sound like Dee Man will be our resident metal warrior soon. Hope he's stocked up on the WD40. Thinking that 'a cup' is in any way an acceptable unit of measurement in cooking Someone once explained to me that it's a much more adaptable measurement system because it uses proportions rather than absolutes, so you can easily scale up or down depending on the number of people you're cooking for, and you don't need a precise measuring jug as any receptacle can be used as your 'cup'. Sounded like cover for being unable to do mental arithmetic to me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted December 21, 2015 Share Posted December 21, 2015 Is she banned from Ikea for knicking fridge magnets. Wish I'd thought of that. Might have helped cover some of the cost for the anti-rust treatments. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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