Bobby Skidmarks Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I managed to cut the top of my index finger quite badly making dinner last night and the fucker still hasn't stopped bleeding. I should probably use something a bit more appropriate for the task than masking tape to try and stem it, to be fair. Fuse the wound with vinegar then coat it with salt to absorb the blood. After that superglue it to your middle finger to limit movement. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 (edited) Fuse the wound with vinegar then coat it with salt to absorb the blood. After that superglue it to your middle finger to limit movement. Thank you, Dr Skidmarks.Edit: I'm going to write a multi million selling range of YA books about a character called Dr Skidmarks. My lawyers will be in touch. Edited April 28, 2016 by KnightswoodBear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Skidmarks Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Thank you, Dr Skidmarks. It's Mr Skidmarks, I didn't attend Castlemilk Surgery school for nothing. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I managed to cut the top of my index finger quite badly making dinner last night and the fucker still hasn't stopped bleeding. I should probably use something a bit more appropriate for the task than masking tape to try and stem it, to be fair. Rub superglue over the wound then stick the finger up your arse and leave to set. This should stem the blood flow from the wound. Ignore the advice of the standard P&B charlatans. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 (edited) It's Mr Skidmarks, I didn't attend Castlemilk Surgery school for nothing.Mr Skidmarks doesn't sound like a sexy young medical professional/secret agent.Mr Skidmarks sounds like a teccy teacher who sharted in front of his second year class. Edit: I'm going to be writing a multi million selling YA series about a teccy teacher who sharted in front of his second year class. My lawyers will be in touch. Edited April 28, 2016 by KnightswoodBear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Festival of House has been cancelled Good. I hate all of that shite. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I can pay £7 per hour, maybe stretching to £11.You are testing me. I am losing it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I managed to cut the top of my index finger quite badly making dinner last night and the fucker still hasn't stopped bleeding. I should probably use something a bit more appropriate for the task than masking tape to try and stem it, to be fair. Making dinner? Wtf was Mrs KBear doing at the time? This is outrageous 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 I thought she was round yours. That's not an euphemism 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Glenn Hoddle 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Glenn HoddleWhat's he been up to now? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 What's he been up to now?Glenn Hoddle believes disabled people are being punished for sins in a past life. Glenn Hoddle is on my television, being paid to talk about football. Hence; Glenn Hoddle 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted April 28, 2016 Share Posted April 28, 2016 Glenn Hoddle believes disabled people are being punished for sins in a past life. Glenn Hoddle is on my television, being paid to talk about football. Hence; Glenn Hoddle Good point, well made 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deefiant Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 All winter I was held up driving Dundee - Aberdeen by gritters/ploughs on the A90 - 0 snow, often not that icy. Today the A90 is wild and has clearly not been touched by a gritter. Just passed my 2nd crash. I'm approaching Forfar. #prayfordeefiant I should add I'm a passenger and not exacerbating the danger by posting whilst driving. Thank you 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 A white out in May near enough. Gtf. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deeboy Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Snah'in on DDE weekend. Wha'd a fucking thought, ken? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Have to go to Oban today. Fucking Oban. Good weather for a cross country commute atleast..... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1320Lichtie Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 I can confirm there was no snow in Oban on Monday or Tuesday. I can also confirm the Rowantree does a cracking big but messy burger. I'm on my way up to Dundee now. How's the snow in that godforsaken wasteland today? There's none in Dundee Milesy. You'll be ok. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
11thHour Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 My morning rolls were delivered sans brown sauce. Raging. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Decided to wait until a few episodes of Game of Thrones were out before bingeing it so I've been steering clear of all the TV discussion threads. Only for some utter gibbercunt to come out with a huge f**k-off spoiler on the GTF thread. Can you get them to delete it? I've only just started season 5. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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