Sweet Pete Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 £5 on Fletcher to score first at 14/1. Their is a story in both the sun and daily record today about underage drinking and both papers feel the need to show us a pic of a teenage boy drinking a can of beer. Well i'm so glad they did because until i looked at the photo i didn't know what underage drinking was. Hey, that's nowt; the Sun showed a picture of the lift that the 2 oddballs in Motherwell were shagging in, presumably in case we didn't know what a lift looks like. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Hey, that's nowt; the Sun showed a picture of the lift that the 2 oddballs in Motherwell were shagging in, presumably in case we didn't know what a lift looks like. Given it was the sun i'm amazed their wasn't a quote from the lift. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
South Lanarkshire Jag Posted September 6, 2011 Share Posted September 6, 2011 Given it was the sun i'm amazed their wasn't a quote from the lift. The lit was too busy undergoing therapy to comment 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEY_SIDNEY Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 When you ask someone their age. They respond im 27 on my next birthday........ ok so that makes you 26 - which is the answer to my question!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Having a dentist appointment at 12 and getting seen at 12:40... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeMan Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 the price of fredo's, the price of space raiders, and you only get 1/4 of the bag filed with crisps nowadays... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smpar Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Haven't posted on this hread before so I have a few. When you're walking behind a very slow person and they don't have the fucking manners to let you passed them despite knowing that you're obviously in a hurry/wanting to walk faster than a fucking snail. When you see someone at the other side of a door as you approach it, so you open it for them and step aside to let them through. After having the manners and patience to let them through, another fucking 25 people come crawling through, and not one of them has the common sense to see that you've been standing there like a spesh for ages. When you're talking to someone and someone else feels the need to say your name 12 times before you politely tell them to f**k off and then take offence. The OF, they're both petty and they both get on my nerves. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwififer Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Groom speeches. I'm shitting my self now. Adam, help!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamieStevenson Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Near anorexic girls saying they are fat... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Groom speeches. I'm shitting my self now. Adam, help!!!! I wrote mine the day before the wedding. It was pretty easy. My best man (who was married two years ago) said that out of writing the groom's speech and his best man's speech, the groom's speech was a piece of cake. It's fairly straightforward - remember and thank the wife's parents, your own family, ushers / bridesmaids and best man, crack a couple of jokes and thank everyone for attending. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Near anorexic girls saying they are fat... Anorexia isn't automatically an indicator of weight (although for obvious reasons low weight generally follows.) It's a mental condition. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) Anorexia isn't automatically an indicator of weight (although for obvious reasons low weight generally follows.) It's a mental condition. You're not kidding! I genuinely knew a girl who ate toilet paper to fill herself up, when she was dieting for her wedding. She discussed it as if it was a legitimate diet plan. She wasn't happy when I asked if she had a self cleaning arse. Edited September 7, 2011 by Sergeant Wilson 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I've heard of people eating toilet paper before - from people with various eating disorders, not just anorexia. One hypothesis is that it's part of the "pica" condition of a craving for eating non-foodstuffs, and it kind of got sucked into the anorexia subculture (which does exist, and is as frightening as it sounds) due to its having little to no calorific value, being easy to keep down, and not being something you'd ever really be tempted by. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swampy Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 Just go for it on the day, i had one written but by the time the speeches were away to happen i just forgot about it and went for it. Was this between frames or did you wait until everyone had got their own shoes back? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Wilson Posted September 7, 2011 Share Posted September 7, 2011 I've heard of people eating toilet paper before - from people with various eating disorders, not just anorexia. One hypothesis is that it's part of the "pica" condition of a craving for eating non-foodstuffs, and it kind of got sucked into the anorexia subculture (which does exist, and is as frightening as it sounds) due to its having little to no calorific value, being easy to keep down, and not being something you'd ever really be tempted by. Apparently it expands and makes you feel full before it disolves. She used to do it at work with the cheap stuff in the lavvies there, but preferred to eat the qulted stuff at home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowers Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 kinder bueno costing 65p 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stimpy Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080528194551AAN7fft&show=7 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10 CC ICT Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080528194551AAN7fft&show=7 Can eating Charmin toilet paper harm or kill you? If so, how? Does it save time wiping later? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Groom speeches. I'm shitting my self now. Adam, help!!!! Basically as Gaz said, it's a piece of cake compared to what the best man has to do. I met my best man for a pint about a week before I got married and he was talking about the amount of time and effort that he had put into his. Mine literally took me about an hour to write. Mention how beautiful your wife looks, thanks for coming, hand out flowers (if you're doing that), couple of little jokes, a minute or so describing how lucky you are to have a wonderful woman in your life and I finished with a bit of an embarrassing story about my best man as I wanted him to be nervous before tearing me a new arsehole in his speech. Try not to make it last anymore than five minutes I would say, that's the max I would go for. Enjoy the day, don't let the little things get to you. And if you're wearing new shoes, remember to peel the labels off the bottom of them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Madonna being an ungrateful c**t. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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