Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 It hurts to poo Does it come out with grooves on it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamaldo Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have anal warts Are they throbbing? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 How old are you? This is not important, there is a scientific question to be answered here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have anal warts Only known cure is a kiss there from Susan Boyle. Or keeping a chilli pepper up there overnight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I haven't been able to view them myself so i can't properly comment. So how do you know there are warts up your hoop? Your poo would have grooves in it if there were, post a few photos the next time you have stool. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Normally the warts should cause the poo to spin on exit, leaving a slight but measurable whirlpool effect after dropping into the water. Swallowing a reel of thread may make the effect more easily observed, measured and timed. When can we expect a report? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I dont do that anymore due to the severity of my warts Man up, we're talking scientific discovery here. Push! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have anal warts Get the wife to burn them off with the iron. If it doesn't work, at least you'll have an amusing anecdote to tell your grandkids. You sure they're warts and not piles? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have anal warts Uh-oh - bad news, Throbs: it's probably an STD Doesn't explain why they're on your ringpiece, however. Maybe someone else can give some suggestions? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Man up, we're talking scientific discovery here. Push! There's money to be made here, plastic surgery to give hoopwart, the benefits are thus. The rifling of the hoop would propel the stool at great velocity, sending said stool round the bend, negating the need to flush* at the same time there would be minimal residue* resulting in a saving of toilet paper. The only flaw in this would be the senseless vivisection of Andrex puppies due to lack of work, however Westies are cuter. *save the planet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have the dreaded Man-flu. Aching all over, freezing but sweating, chesty cough and have a blocked nose and ears. Still, at least I don't have arse warts. I can't think of a money making scheme given your condition as I don't own a distillery. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 (edited) There's money to be made here, plastic surgery to give hoopwart, the benefits are thus. The rifling of the hoop would propel the stool at great velocity, sending said stool round the bend, negating the need to flush* at the same time there would be minimal residue* resulting in a saving of toilet paper. The only flaw in this would be the senseless vivisection of Andrex puppies due to lack of work, however Westies are cuter. *save the planet. Pinged off an email to James Dyson. I'm sure using his revolutionary cyclone technology we could create an implant to imitate throbber's genital warts up his arse (fraid so throbber, just googled, what have you been up to?). I suggested a 4 way split, Me, you, James and throbber(for his suffering). If you want to give any of your share to #SavethePuppies it's up to you. Let you know how it goes. Edited September 20, 2014 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Pinged off an email to James Dyson. I'm sure using his revolutionary cyclone technology we could create an implant to imitate throbber's genital warts up his arse (fraid so throbber, just googled, what have you been up to?). I suggested a 4 way split, Me, you, James and throbber(for his suffering). If you want to give any of your share to Greenpeace it's up to you. Let you know how it goes. I have revised my stance, f**k the planet, throw money. By the way, given his condition throbber might not be too comfortable with a four way split. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 By the way, given his condition throbber might not be too comfortable with a four way split. Given some of the treatment suggestions, he won't do walking away either... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Hiya Welshie! Great to hear from you. Sorry I missed you at Cannes, fucking yacht broke down at Troon and you know how I hate flying. Anyhoo, cracking idea from that Zen boy. We'll need throbber to do the final experiments with his arse, and Zen Archer now has copyright because of that shitty forum you talked about it on. Fucking idiots. Anyway welshbairn, your oot, sorry. Like my accent? LOL Best James 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have the dreaded Man-flu. Aching all over, freezing but sweating, chesty cough and have a blocked nose and ears. Still, at least I don't have arse warts. Man-flu can only be diagnosed by a suitably condescending maw/girlfriend/gaggle of bints on Facebook. Please confirm, as the symptoms are similar to that of Ebola. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Young lad at work says he really wants to get the Apple Watch when it comes out, though he also says he'd be too embarrassed to actually wear it in public. When asked what would be the point in having it he replied "just to have it". We're doomed. Good, good, goooooood... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I'm with you, but it'll never happen because all the "psychics" have to do is ask why religion isn't being criminalised, and that's a can of worms that nobody wants to open. You should watch some James Randi videos on youtube, it's funny when he calls them out on the bullshit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.