throbber Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Uh-oh - bad news, Throbs: it's probably an STD Doesn't explain why they're on your ringpiece, however. Maybe someone else can give some suggestions? Well i was in Blackpool recently 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Man up, we're talking scientific discovery here. Push! There's money to be made here, plastic surgery to give hoopwart, the benefits are thus. The rifling of the hoop would propel the stool at great velocity, sending said stool round the bend, negating the need to flush* at the same time there would be minimal residue* resulting in a saving of toilet paper. The only flaw in this would be the senseless vivisection of Andrex puppies due to lack of work, however Westies are cuter. *save the planet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have the dreaded Man-flu. Aching all over, freezing but sweating, chesty cough and have a blocked nose and ears. Still, at least I don't have arse warts. I can't think of a money making scheme given your condition as I don't own a distillery. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 (edited) There's money to be made here, plastic surgery to give hoopwart, the benefits are thus. The rifling of the hoop would propel the stool at great velocity, sending said stool round the bend, negating the need to flush* at the same time there would be minimal residue* resulting in a saving of toilet paper. The only flaw in this would be the senseless vivisection of Andrex puppies due to lack of work, however Westies are cuter. *save the planet. Pinged off an email to James Dyson. I'm sure using his revolutionary cyclone technology we could create an implant to imitate throbber's genital warts up his arse (fraid so throbber, just googled, what have you been up to?). I suggested a 4 way split, Me, you, James and throbber(for his suffering). If you want to give any of your share to #SavethePuppies it's up to you. Let you know how it goes. Edited September 20, 2014 by welshbairn 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Pinged off an email to James Dyson. I'm sure using his revolutionary cyclone technology we could create an implant to imitate throbber's genital warts up his arse (fraid so throbber, just googled, what have you been up to?). I suggested a 4 way split, Me, you, James and throbber(for his suffering). If you want to give any of your share to Greenpeace it's up to you. Let you know how it goes. I have revised my stance, f**k the planet, throw money. By the way, given his condition throbber might not be too comfortable with a four way split. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
broon-loon Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 By the way, given his condition throbber might not be too comfortable with a four way split. Given some of the treatment suggestions, he won't do walking away either... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Hiya Welshie! Great to hear from you. Sorry I missed you at Cannes, fucking yacht broke down at Troon and you know how I hate flying. Anyhoo, cracking idea from that Zen boy. We'll need throbber to do the final experiments with his arse, and Zen Archer now has copyright because of that shitty forum you talked about it on. Fucking idiots. Anyway welshbairn, your oot, sorry. Like my accent? LOL Best James 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I have the dreaded Man-flu. Aching all over, freezing but sweating, chesty cough and have a blocked nose and ears. Still, at least I don't have arse warts. Man-flu can only be diagnosed by a suitably condescending maw/girlfriend/gaggle of bints on Facebook. Please confirm, as the symptoms are similar to that of Ebola. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Young lad at work says he really wants to get the Apple Watch when it comes out, though he also says he'd be too embarrassed to actually wear it in public. When asked what would be the point in having it he replied "just to have it". We're doomed. Good, good, goooooood... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~~~ Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 I'm with you, but it'll never happen because all the "psychics" have to do is ask why religion isn't being criminalised, and that's a can of worms that nobody wants to open. You should watch some James Randi videos on youtube, it's funny when he calls them out on the bullshit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weirdcal Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 (edited) Its all just people who don't feel they have control over their own lives and people prey on it. If i were to say something to you like "A stranger will reveal themselves and it will open up an opportunity" Mobile posting is a pain in the tits for editing mistoooooks Edited September 21, 2014 by weirdcal 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IainMorton Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 (edited) People who don't call their husband/wife/partner/children by their names when talking about them to other people, and refer to them as 'him/her/missus' etc. A few of my colleagues are bad for this. "I'm meeting up with the missus after work", "had to go home and make him his tea", "he was up at 5am this morning and couldn't get back to sleep". I've been working with a guy for nearly two years now and only recently did I find out what his wife was called. Why do people do this? It would be ok if the other person knew them personally, but it is ok to do this when they've never met them?! Edited September 22, 2014 by IainMorton 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Depends how many partners they've had before and it avoids embarrassing slip-ups. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I always refer to my wife as "the current Mrs NBB". Pisses her off no end. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I always refer to my wife as "the current Mrs NBB". Pisses her off no end. Next time refer to her as the incumbent, she'll think she's been promoted. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 The St Andrews team on UC, one looks like a vampire the rest look like scruffy c***s, cape or no cape. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Phoenix Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Next time refer to her as the incumbent, she'll think she's been promoted. Better still refer to her as the ex, she'll think she's won a gold watch. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Next time refer to her as the incumbent, she'll think she's been promoted. She'd probably think she was pregnant 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.