Cardinal Richelieu Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 A spider was in my bed. A fucking spider. In my bed. It wasn't small either. Nearly shit the fucking bed. A spider in ones bed is the stuff that makes arachnophobes, like myself, nightmares. It crawled across my laptop. The second I realised what sort of shit was going down I jumped up faster than lightning, ran for the switch, grabbed the nearest suitable blunt instrument, in this case a can of deodorant, and, thwack, squashed the bugger with quite unnecessary force. Enigma 1 Spiders 0 (FT) I am, however, left emotionally scarred. I'm terrified that he was much loved among the spider community and has some bigger mates who might be hell bent on revenge, Booooooooooo. Mon the spiders. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Dee Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Probably been said before. Negative can'ts at work. Who being totally bereft of solutions or ideas themselves, for an issue, still say you cannot do what you want to do to solve the, stated, issue. Why? "because you can't" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Started a scan on my backup drive on Saturday. Still going, not even reached halfway yet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monster Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 You and SweeperDee should get together and have a night out on the town. You sound like a right couple of Lads. You'll be beating the women off with a stick. Hopefully not your stick, wouldn't want you breaking a hip or anything. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest honestrae95 Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 Unbelievably unfunny April Fools jokers that think they're all of a sudden Frankie Boyle. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 The absolute cuntoids who appear as contestants on Deal Or No Deal. Where do they find these mouth breathers? It took me a while to work out why people trying to avoid reds kept picking the red boxes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 The absolute cuntoids who appear as contestants on Deal Or No Deal. Where do they find these mouth breathers? must be mdma in their water.i dont even like my own mates that much that id be jumping up and down like a c**t on telly for them.fucking wankers. dinnae get me started on edmonds weirdo midget BEAST 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted April 1, 2013 Share Posted April 1, 2013 must be mdma in their water.i dont even like my own mates that much that id be jumping up and down like a c**t on telly for them.fucking wankers. dinnae get me started on edmonds weirdo midget BEAST ^^^^^^ Failed the audition IMO. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Having two days off work coming up, and being floored by the cold 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vikingTON Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Having two days off work coming up, and being floored by the cold The cold is a diddy disease: man the f**k up. If it were bad AIDS then you may have had reason for complaint. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlipperyP Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 (edited) The cold is a diddy disease: man the f**k up. If it were bad AIDS then you may have had reason for complaint. Cold, is for weans? Maybe he's a wean..Unless you can't walk, talk or masturbate you are in full working order, he should deal with it! ETS - When you say Diddy disease, is this something that comes from Ibrox? Edited April 2, 2013 by SlipperyP 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Mouse will scroll up, but not down. I pray this never happens to any of you, my seethe is growing by the second. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 The cold is a diddy disease: man the f**k up. If it were bad AIDS then you may have had reason for complaint. Lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Mouse will scroll up, but not down. I pray this never happens to any of you, my seethe is growing by the second. It annoys me to hell when you want to highlight a pile of text in a long email (to delete an email chain below for example). Outlook makes it annoyingly slow on the way down but manages to do it quickly from the bottom up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widge Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 I can't bend my hand a certain way at the moment. Simply due to the fact I mutilated myself with an axe in Saturday. Well by mutilated, I mean missed the bit of wood I was aiming for and accidentally hit myself. Ohh aye and I can't play football manager, cause Steams being a c**t, plus I need to work tonight. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 IP sniffing moderators who add 2 and 2 to get 5. Grrr. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endieinreekie Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Mouse will scroll up, but not down. I pray this never happens to any of you, my seethe is growing by the second. Just turn it upside down 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paranoid Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 Faux fur animal hats with ears. Or even the woolly ones. Grrr. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bengmfc Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 People that get on the train and ask if the train is for a certain station, when it is clearly stated on the boards. Can guarantee it will happen 4/5 days of the working week. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted April 2, 2013 Share Posted April 2, 2013 When you turn up at a pedestrian crossing, find a whole pile of folk waiting and nobody's pushed the button yet. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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