Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...

[Hampden Diehard]

On a Glasgow bus...the obligatory foreigner (aye, this does sound a bit racist, but every Glasgow bus has one, so I'll class this an an observation) barking down their 'phone far, far too loud; a guy watching a film on his i-pad without earphones and a guy with earphones whose music is blaring. And there's only about 6 people on the bus. I can't concentrate on my colouring in.

[die hard doonhamer]

Tap the brakes next time, it really pisses them off.

Beware if you get behind the Zen Mobile, I relish watching seethe in the rear view mirror.

I prefer to drop a gear and quickly lift the clutch. They shit it when my car gets a lot closer to them without brake lights appearing.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

I prefer to drop a gear and quickly lift the clutch. They shit it when my car gets a lot closer to them without brake lights appearing.

When Mr Dick keeps pushing his luck, I tap the indicator and if he keeps his rate whilst I gradually move over I brake whilst straddling the white lines, the smell of shite in their vehicle must be intolerable after that.

[KnightswoodBear]

I prefer to drop a gear and quickly lift the clutch. They shit it when my car gets a lot closer to them without brake lights appearing.

This is a favourite method of mine too.

The other, which takes a wee bit more precision, is drop a gear, then tap the brakes gently with your left foot (you have to be careful not to stand the car on its nose) whilst simultaneously standing on the loud pedal with your right. Watching them slow down whilst you speed off is very satisfying. Especially once they catch up with you and you've returned to your normal speed.

[Hedgecutter]

On a Glasgow bus...the obligatory foreigner (aye, this does sound a bit racist, but every Glasgow bus has one, so I'll class this an an observation) barking down their 'phone far, far too loud.

I had this the other day with what appeared to be an older middle eastern guy shouting down the phone in whatever language he was conversing in. The manner of it possibly suggested that it was his first time using a mobile phone.

[Hillonearth]

I had this the other day with what appeared to be an older middle eastern guy shouting down the phone in whatever language he was conversing in. The manner of it possibly suggested that it was his first time using a mobile phone.

I've noticed this a couple of times with francophone African punters on mobiles yelling really personal stuff down the phone in public as if they're under the impression French is some obscure language no-one's going to understand.

[Hedgecutter]

Dept for work and pensions giving you a 08:45 interview at a job centre office which doesn't open until 9. Very clever.

I say sack 'em.

[welshbairn]

People staring at you like you're an idiot when you're trying to talk to a nearly deaf relative on the phone.

[Hedgecutter]

In town on a cracking summers day here but have to head home because "the gas man is coming sometime between 12 & 6". Won't even be able to sit out in the garden where I won't hear them FFS.

The incredulous look from the wifey in Currys yesterday when I refused to but her shitey care plan for my new tumble dryer.

Aye, piss off, love.

Same usually applies to offers of unneeded and overpriced anti-virus packages the likes of Norton.

Although they don't actually say it as such, they make out like "your computer will either blow up or you'll be left totally bankrupt when somebody steals all your files and details without this. You'd be mental not to buy this!!!".

Edited July 15, 2014 by Hedgecutter

[DA Baracus]

Dept for work and pensions giving you a 08:45 interview at a job centre office which doesn't open until 9. Very clever.

I say sack 'em.

I hope you're prepared for a series of pointless meetings where their advice is to make your CV one page and to check local papers for jobs. Oh and to use their dreadful Universal Jobmatch website. You're sure to have great fun filling out the 'job diary' thing that they insist you do or else they won't pay you £72 p/w.

Since you are highly qualified you'll find them comically, hopelessly useless helping you get a job in your field.

You should crash graduate events at the unis if there are any on soon.

[Gaz]

I went to the Jobcentre in between finishing Uni and starting teaching in August as I was bored sitting about the house and thought I might try to earn some pin money. They asked me what qualifications I had, then just looked at me and the advisor laughed and said "er, I don't think we'll be able to help you".

[welshbairn]

You're sure to have great fun filling out the 'job diary' thing that they insist you do or else they won't pay you £72 p/w.

If you're in a guinea pig area where they're trying out Universal Credit (like Inverness), you'll have to prove you've spent 35 hours a week looking for a job. Which they know is impossible, so they train you to lie. And if you sign up for Universal Jobsmatch be aware that hundreds of crooks offering fictitious jobs will have access to your CV and will sell it on.

Edited July 15, 2014 by welshbairn

[Andy Dufresne]

I went to the Jobcentre in between finishing Uni and starting teaching in August as I was bored sitting about the house and thought I might try to earn some pin money. They asked me what qualifications I had, then just looked at me and the advisor laughed and said "er, I don't think we'll be able to help you".

My brother in law went in to look for a new job and was told to leave as he was in his work stuff and they only help unemployed people.

[Gaz]

My brother in law went in to look for a new job and was told to leave as he was in his work stuff and they only help unemployed people.

To be fair, I can kind of understand that. They have limited resources so it's only to be expected that they'll prioritise the unemployed.

[DA Baracus]

If you're in a guinea pig area where they're trying out Universal Credit (like Inverness), you'll have to prove you've spent 35 hours a week looking for a job. Which they know is impossible, so they train you to lie. And if you sign up for Universal Jobsmatch be aware that hundreds of crooks offering fictitious jobs will have access to your CV and will sell it on.

Aye last year when I was unemployed I had to do the job diary stuff to prove I was looking for a job. It took me about 2 hours a day to exhaust my search (including doing applications etc).

The Universal Jobmatch thing is a disgraceful failure. It's flooded with shite (mainly sales jobs that promise loads of comission you can't actually make) and outright bullshit like you say. The decent jobs are few and massively over subscribed in terms of applicants as all advisors will tell all their 'clients' to apply for it.

It can be soul destroying stuff. Good luck to all in that unfortunate situation.

[mizfit]

I hope you're prepared for a series of pointless meetings where their advice is to make your CV one page and to check local papers for jobs. Oh and to use their dreadful Universal Jobmatch website. You're sure to have great fun filling out the 'job diary' thing that they insist you do or else they won't pay you £72 p/w.

Since you are highly qualified you'll find them comically, hopelessly useless helping you get a job in your field.

You should crash graduate events at the unis if there are any on soon.

That job diary was a b*****d, I applied for every job I was qualified to do in tayside and fife and apparently I hadn't filled in enough, when I asked for advice on interviews I was told to look online.

Then when I said I couldn't apply for anything else as I was underqualified he told me to move elsewhere to find work.

c**t of a man

[kev23]

I was unemployed between August and September last year. Horrible experience. Had just left college and decided to enjoy summer before looking for work. The 2 months spent on the dole were genuinely the worst of my life.

Knew the place was a joke after the first meeting when the guy said I had to apply for 3 (YES 3!!) jobs a week. I was applying for that nearly every day. Then on the second meeting i got sent to a interview technique thing at Asda which was beyond pointless. He asked what I gained from it and I said nothing and he threatened to stop my money, which I hadn't received any off anyway, because I was obviously not listening.

Took a temp job in Amazon after that for 4 weeks before getting my current job. Currently working in a supermarket but I quite enjoy it. Looking to move to something different after the summer though or do night classes at college as well as work. Could never go back the dole though. Horrible place.

[DA Baracus]

You're expected to apply for jobs that are up to 90 minutes away from you when you're signing on. You are expected to attend interviews up to 90 minutes away. All at your own expense. When you're only getting £72 a week that's just nonsense. It's unworkable for many.

You are at the mercy of the attitude of the Jobcentre employee. If they are understanding it's alright and you can get on with trying to get a job and get your money every 2 weeks. If they're a moany jobsworth they will be utter c***s to deal with and will expect you to act like a robot.

It's awful applying for jobs you know you will be good at and can do easily but then not even getting an interview.

[Hedgecutter]

Mine's going to be a real weird one for them, although the woman I dealt with told me that I should be in what they informally call the 'easy group' with the skills which they have try and teach a lot of other people - some of which can be half-arsed wasters (well, not to those exact words of course) and they really need to study those diaries to make sure they're not taking the piss.

She almost made it out that I was just entitled to the money through past contributions ("a little thank you from the government" as she put it) which would stop after a certain period of time where I might have to broaden the search. Maybe the person I see next may be different, but she seemed to clock that any roles which I go for are not going to be advertised through any of their systems and that it can be awkward in that in some roles it can be worth holding out for - the government earn more tax through the higher tax band jobs of course.

Time will tell.

[DA Baracus]

Also the job diary is a bag of shit as you can just make it up. You might have to to make it look like you've done enough if you've applied for every job you can and you're waiting yo see new ones.

You soon learn on just how many different sites each job is advertised.

Also the Universal Jobmatch site recycles jobs frequently (i.e. posts the same job again) as well as featuring junk/fake jobs and sales jobs you can't possibly live off as they are comission based and there's no way you can hope to sell close to enough.

Some Jobcentre staff understand this but others just see the number of 'new' jobs posted on the site and ask why you haven't applied for them.