Jump to content

Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


Recommended Posts

Look under the nearest bush/hedge.

Such treasures are, now, sadly a thing of the past.

Heard Tony Robinson is filming a special time team special, due to air next month. Bush Bongo : Park Pamphlets from yesteryear. I Expect some shots reminiscent of a pouch of old Holborn, if I'm honest.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My girlfriend has decided she wants to get fit so somehow I have to play badminton on Wednesdays. I just beat her 7-0 in sets without really moving from the middle of the court. I hoped that would be that but on the way out she booked it again for next week. I now see Wednesday's being my least favourite day of the week.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My girlfriend has decided she wants to get fit so somehow I have to play badminton on Wednesdays. I just beat her 7-0 in sets without really moving from the middle of the court. I hoped that would be that but on the way out she booked it again for next week. I now see Wednesday's being my least favourite day of the week.

Tell her for every point she loses, she needs to take one in the brown. She'll be sure to give up quickly. Unless she's filthy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My girlfriend has decided she wants to get fit so somehow I have to play badminton on Wednesdays. I just beat her 7-0 in sets without really moving from the middle of the court. I hoped that would be that but on the way out she booked it again for next week. I now see Wednesday's being my least favourite day of the week.

Pretending he's raging but really just wants to boast about beating his burd at Badminton type post

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Tiree bush porn update. None to report.

I went round to the nearest house to enquire about the owner's orientation - he seemed disappointed when I said I meant his TV aerial. It seems mine is goosed but the absolute gent told me to help myself to his DVD collection (still no porn) so decent result.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Such treasures are, now, sadly a thing of the past.

Heard Tony Robinson is filming a special time team special, due to air next month. Bush Bongo : Park Pamphlets from yesteryear. I Expect some shots reminiscent of a pouch of old Holborn, if I'm honest.

One of the sad drawbacks of the Internet age. Not content with decimating our high street with eCommerce, it's all but destroyed our printed filth industry. Finding bongo under a hedge was a right of passage for boys of a certain era.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I once found a fine collection of old school static-filth up a loft on Gigha.

I do however appreciate this of no use to you.

On two previous job sites we've found scuddy photos of the occupants. One was a neddy burd lifting her jumper to expose one tit and one was old photos of the elderly gentleman owner in the nip hidden under an old wardrobe.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On two previous job sites we've found scuddy photos of the occupants. One was a neddy burd lifting her jumper to expose one tit and one was old photos of the elderly gentleman owner in the nip hidden under an old wardrobe.

When we used to get called out to telephone faults at the old Kodak place off South Street, the frame was situated in a room in the basement that contained a filing cabinet full to bursting of all the extra copies of pictures they'd developed of naked burds that had been sent in.

As a young, wide eyed apprentice, it was certainly an eye opener.

Fnarr.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When we used to get called out to telephone faults at the old Kodak place off South Street, the frame was situated in a room in the basement that contained a filing cabinet full to bursting of all the extra copies of pictures they'd developed of naked burds that had been sent in.

As a young, wide eyed apprentice, it was certainly an eye opener.

Fnarr.

And you didn't even grab an armful for your ol' buddy Pete (twenty years in advance of meeting me). Poor show from you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And you didn't even grab an armful for your ol' buddy Pete (twenty years in advance of meeting me). Poor show from you.

To be honest, it was 99% utter munters with various household objects slung up them, and the odd absolute golden nugget thrown in just to keep the horror at bay.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The most impressive collection of scud books I ever encountered was not in a park, in the woods not even within our shores but in the TV room left a palace hotel, Nicosia, Cyprus. I've mentioned, on here before, that I was stationed there on a UN tour late 90s. Every 6 month tour had added to the collection for 10+ years. Literally 100s of mucky books that had been bought, reviewed and then placed into the appropriate pile. Vintage, readers wives, total honeys, hardcore etc.

Everyday we would receive our hot int(de de de dirp de de) briefing in the TV room from our illustrious leader (when I say illustrious I mean wet behind the ears, straight out the box from sand hurst, clueless, long streak of piss, one pip wonder) who happened to look like a dark haired shaggy(scooby doo not the it wasn't me one). No kidding he even walked like him. "Urrrrm right chaps the Turks are doing urrrrrm something, errr bad and the Greeks don't like it errr urrrm". Something needed to be done to liven up this daily half hour of white noise.

Pocket porn, those amazing private hardcore mags that could ingeniously be placed in a map pocket, was the answer. 10 minutes befor the briefing we would scan the mags looking for the clortiest scenes, within the pages of these pinnacles of pornographic creation, and leave them on view on the coffee table in the centre of the room.

The mucky b*****d couldn't take his eyes off of them and there were a hell of a lot more errrs, ahhhhhs and urrms, to boot. He even took a massive minter at one point and muttered "good god" when catching a glance, I can only assume, of the DVDA centrefold shot. This product of a sheltered upbringing had received an education.

I honestly believe Shaggy grew up that day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The most impressive collection of scud books I ever encountered was not in a park, in the woods not even within our shores but in the TV room left a palace hotel, Nicosia, Cyprus. I've mentioned, on here before, that I was stationed there on a UN tour late 90s. Every 6 month tour had added to the collection for 10+ years. Literally 100s of mucky books that had been bought, reviewed and then placed into the appropriate pile. Vintage, readers wives, total honeys, hardcore etc.

Everyday we would receive our hot int(de de de dirp de de) briefing in the TV room from our illustrious leader (when I say illustrious I mean wet behind the ears, straight out the box from sand hurst, clueless, long streak of piss, one pip wonder) who happened to look like a dark haired shaggy(scooby doo not the it wasn't me one). No kidding he even walked like him. "Urrrrm right chaps the Turks are doing urrrrrm something, errr bad and the Greeks don't like it errr urrrm". Something needed to be done to liven up this daily half hour of white noise.

Pocket porn, those amazing private hardcore mags that could ingeniously be placed in a map pocket, was the answer. 10 minutes befor the briefing we would scan the mags looking for the clortiest scenes, within the pages of these pinnacles of pornographic creation, and leave them on view on the coffee table in the centre of the room.

The mucky b*****d couldn't take his eyes off of them and there were a hell of a lot more errrs, ahhhhhs and urrms, to boot. He even took a massive minter at one point and muttered "good god" when catching a glance, I can only assume, of the DVDA centrefold shot. This product of a sheltered upbringing had received an education.

I honestly believe Shaggy grew up that day.

I feel like I'm worthy of some sort of recognition for reading this entire post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I attended the funeral of an old friend today, he was so admired that there was a long queue to get into the church.

What I saw really appalled me, there were actually c***s that thought it was fine to use the old 'look, that's so and so' we better talk to them just to jump the queue.

The wrong man got buried today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was a crash at the Scott Fyffe roundabout today, some old dear had went right off the side of the Arbroath road and into the railings. I was approaching the roundabout from the city centre.

Just past the Boars Rock when I was halted by some diddy just casually sitting in the middle of the 2 lanes (road was extremely busy at this time, about 3pm) not letting me past, I was wondering wtf was going on as I was sitting there for a good 30 seconds with loads of people behind me.

The car eventually started moving extremely slowly shifting over into the left hand lane, I drive past on the right, have a look at what's going on and some daft wummin had her window down recording/taking photos of the crashed car. Fucking unbelievable.

Halting an extremely busy road for about a minute just so you can get a snapchat or a photo or whatever of somebodies crashed car to post online. Thing is the woman that had crashed her car was standing there watching her do it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...