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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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26 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said:

Anyhoo, my room in Barcelona has no AC and the fan isn’t very good. It’s absolutely fucking boiling in there and I haven’t a clue what to do about it. Might find a park bench. Still would be a step up from Glasgow, I suppose.

Have you tried taking off your jumper?

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4 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

If you do, send it to Australia. Apparently it’s worse than the North Pole there at the moment.

It fucking is, you c**t.  I just saw a polar bear with a scarf on run past my room. 

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Anyhoo, my room in Barcelona has no AC and the fan isn’t very good. It’s absolutely fucking boiling in there and I haven’t a clue what to do about it. Might find a park bench. Still would be a step up from Glasgow, I suppose.
Aye but is it city centre Barcelona?
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9 hours ago, Mark Connolly said:

French air traffic controllers.

What sort of absolute c**t does that for a living?

French ones?

I have a certain amount of admiration for French air traffic controllers, and French workers in general.  The slightest provocation and they f**k up everyones day by going on strike.

I missed Rangers putting PSG out of the Uefa Cup in 2001 because someone had eaten Jaques baguette out the fridge at Charles De Gaulle and he called a wildcat strike.

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2 minutes ago, KnightswoodBear said:

French ones?

I have a certain amount of admiration for French air traffic controllers, and French workers in general.  The slightest provocation and they f**k up everyones day by going on strike.

I missed Rangers putting PSG out of the Uefa Cup in 2001 because someone had eaten Jaques baguette out the fridge at Charles De Gaulle and he called a wildcat strike.

They also have no qualms about setting the odd sheep on fire just to make a statement, but I think it was a bloke from Fife that did that on a train.

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15 hours ago, pozbaird said:

How come whenever someone dies and it makes the news (for whatever reason), it is always a great guy, a well-liked student, or an angel. Do complete cnuts never die?

Similarly, when something kinda’ shocking happens in an area (for whatever reason), why does the community always be described as ‘tight knit’.

Tight knit my arse, just a normal place where you maybe know the neighbour on one side, but ignore the fanny on the other side who always goes out wearing a Sellik tap, and as for anyone more than two doors away, you don’t know jack shit about them... as I say, tight knit my arse... until on the news.

Explanations please to... 

The worst 1 is when it's a child who died.

The headteacher will be interviewed and it's always a popular, well liked student who will be tragically missed.

Surprising the head knows the kid well from the hundreds of other wee shites in the school and why is it never a wee waster who died who was gonnae be a drain on society anyway? 

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Think you'll find that matches were dropped before Bradford
I too considered this joke. My attempt would've been more like 'i think matches were dropped a few minutes before Bradford as well' - but I couldn't quite decide on the right wording.

In the end, I figured the original joke had enough of a nod to it that I ran the risk of the dreaded 'that's the joke' gif.

If your (sightly inferior) joke goes on to garner a dozen greenies I'll be consumed with regret.


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