Tony Ferrino Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 19 minutes ago, throbber said: Always side with a masturbator is a good rule of thumb. Yes, never tackle one head on. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 2 hours ago, welshbairn said: There's probably something about the size of his cock in the Gospel of Thomas. Gospel according to John Thomas, surely ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Baked fresh pretzels are tremendous but pretzels you get in a bag that you can buy in supermarkets are pish and the most dry things that steal all the moisture from your mouth ever 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Richard Osman's errant belief that he is funny. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 14 hours ago, peasy23 said: The masturbator will have stronger arms though. Well, at least one of them. Yes, but he's only going to be hanging on with the weak arm. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 12 hours ago, DA Baracus said: That's an easily survivable fall. You'd barely sprain an ankle there. Unless Jesus is hovering in mid-air, like Spock in Star Trek V. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 The trend of young women getting a tattoo just above their elbow in order to show off some twee doodle to whoever is walking behind them. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 2 hours ago, GordonD said: Unless Jesus is hovering in mid-air, like Spock in Star Trek V. Good call. Never thought of that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 Latest from the annoying sister. “Oh I’ve started making my own muesli. Do you get Holland and Barrett up here in Scotland?” You’re from Elgin you stupid bint. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 4 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Oh I’ve started making my own muesli. Do you get Holland and Barrett up here in Scotland? An incredible amount of wrong compacted into two bite sized sentences. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 17 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: An incredible amount of wrong compacted into two dry, cardboard-like, bite sized sentences. FTFY 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 Christmas stuff in the shops already. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swarley Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 Latest from the annoying sister. “Oh I’ve started making my own muesli. Do you get Holland and Barrett up here in Scotland?” You’re from Elgin you stupid bint.Well, do you? I'm on tenterhooks here. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honest_Man#1 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 Also fits well into the ‘things that make you cringe’ thread, but hecklers at comedy shows who think they’re hilarious and want to be the star. I’ve paid to see the comedian, and whilst it’s enjoyable having them rip the piss out of you, I’d prefer if you’d just shut the f**k up for 5 mins. At the Fringe on Saturday seeing a comedian, and this one woman couldn’t help but chip in. Firstly because the guy had a go at vegans and she had a bit of a heads gone shouting at him, then later her very loud phone alarm went off and she leaves it ringing for a painfully long time. Comedian asks what does she do at 9.16pm every night that she needs an alarm for... “to take my anti-depressants” in a completely serious, raging voice. f**k off then you miserable attention-seeking c**t, I’m here for a laugh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 Probably a Pars fan on the way home from the game! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supermik Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 Being sat at a table at wedding receptions with a load of unknown randoms. Waiter put 2 sliced loafs and butter on the table. 3 daft bints decided to get wired in about it like they had never seen food in their lives. Waiter then arrives with the set starters for everyone. Pate! To go with the now non existent bread. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 People who get married on a Monday... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 14 minutes ago, supermik said: Being sat at a table at wedding receptions with a load of unknown randoms. Waiter put 2 sliced loafs and butter on the table. 3 daft bints decided to get wired in about it like they had never seen food in their lives. Waiter then arrives with the set starters for everyone. Pate! To go with the now non existent bread. 2 sliced loaves at wedding? Sounds classy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 I hope it was a least Hovis and not Asda's own brand. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 Supermik confirming he’s been put at the arsehole table of what sounds like the ultimate arsehole wedding. Credit to you, mik! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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