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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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15 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

And proud. We're not dumb Americans, we can be trusted to cross the road in our own time without building the polis piss up fund.

Most of us can, sadly lots of people can’t.

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19 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

And proud. We're not dumb Americans, we can be trusted to cross the road in our own time without building the polis piss up fund.

One thing to be said for America, outside the big cities pedestrians have right of way at street corners.

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50 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

On the subject of repetition in language, let's not forget the sentence "There's Ayr over there." Or about buying onion Bridies in Dundee.

Fuzzywuzzy wuz a bear

Fuzzywuzzy had nae hair

Fuzzywuzzy wuznae fuzzy wuzzhe? 

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6 hours ago, buchan30 said:

Folk who try and cross the road 10 yards away from where you can actually cross at traffic lights where it is safer. Not so bad on a wee side road or that, but there is a dual carriageway in kirkcaldy that is a 40mph where people with cross where it just isn’t safe.

I'll admit to being one of these people.  I don't see the point in stopping all of the traffic for a red light when I can cross at a closer point, which is more convenient for both myself and the motorist (and the environment too I suppose).

That said, I appreciate that there are people with next to no distance-time coordination who become 'rabbit in the headlights' types, and as a result will be a menace to drivers. 

FWIW, the scariest experience of my life was crossing a road in Egypt where they had no under/overpasses.  The locals I were with said "walk in a straight line at a steady speed and you'll be fine.  Don't, and you'll die".  You'd see women carrying kids walking through motorway traffic with the cars just steering around them.  I compare it to The Last Crusade where Indiana Jones has to step out into the canyon with his book telling him it'll be fine.  Once, you've done that, crossing the A96 is a piece of piss.

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19 hours ago, MixuFixit said:


'OK. So. Here's the thing.'

Ah, my personal 'favourite'. In other words, 'I think you're too fucking stupid to get what I'm trying to say, so I'm going to explain it to you slowly and in small words'. Get fucked cunto, particularly when you're trying to explain something I knew about/was doing before you were even born.

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29 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

the scariest experience of my life was crossing a road in Egypt where they had no under/overpasses. 

I actually found an overpass in Cairo when confronted with this situation. Unfortunately it was 2 feet thick in fish heads and other equally uninviting stuff, they used it as a dump for the market.

Edited by welshbairn
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8 hours ago, SlipperyP said:

We had a problem in Thailand with too much rice being produced for the demand.

It's was a Khao khao khao. -  White rice mountain.

Or if your ever go camping (ooh) here, you can always say

Mai mai mai mai mai - New wood doesn't burn, does it?

I don't expect people to believe this, but my partner's gran who was born and raised in rural Aberdeenshire came out with the classic "fit fit fits fit fit?" when she opened up a pair of slippers one Christmas morning .  I'm absolutely convinced it was said deadly seriously with absolutely no hint of a joke.  If it was, it was the only one she ever made.

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3 hours ago, The Moonster said:

And proud. We're not dumb Americans, we can be trusted to cross the road in our own time without building the polis piss up fund.

95% of the laws are for 5% of the people.

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55 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

I don't expect people to believe this, but my partner's gran who was born and raised in rural Aberdeenshire came out with the classic "fit fit fits fit fit?" when she opened up a pair of slippers one Christmas morning .  I'm absolutely convinced it was said deadly seriously with absolutely no hint of a joke.  If it was, it was the only one she ever made.

Has everyone heard Tam Cowan's Enrico Annoni gag? 

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46 minutes ago, jimbaxters said:

Has everyone heard Tam Cowan's Enrico Annoni gag? 

It's not Tam Cowan's. Or if he's using it he's stolen it. It was Alex Norton who told that story first.

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4 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

I don't expect people to believe this, but my partner's gran who was born and raised in rural Aberdeenshire came out with the classic "fit fit fits fit fit?" when she opened up a pair of slippers one Christmas morning .  I'm absolutely convinced it was said deadly seriously with absolutely no hint of a joke.  If it was, it was the only one she ever made.

the correct answer being...at ane on at ane,an at ane on at ane.

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