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Petty Things That Get On Your Nerves...


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11 minutes ago, scottmcleanscontacts said:

Anywhere south of about Perth and the chippies are crap.
 

I think it’s a progressive problem. 

I'm 300 miles south of Scotland and the chip shops are utterly shit. 

The fish is cod by default. I like cod, but not deep fried in batter. It is a soggy mess and not a patch on haddock. 

The pies. Holy shit. Rectangular chalky "tescos extra value" foil tray nonsense filled with vomit and diarrhoea. 

A complete absence of connoisseurs' processed meat products. No puddings. No reconstituted shaped delicacies (the king rib is a big miss for me). 

And i got a completely blank look for asking for a fish supper. After explaining that is was fish with chips, the p***k had the nerve to ask why i didn't just ask for fish and chips. 

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I think it’s a progressive problem. 
I'm 300 miles south of Scotland and the chip shops are utterly shit. 
The fish is cod by default. I like cod, but not deep fried in batter. It is a soggy mess and not a patch on haddock. 
The pies. Holy shit. Rectangular chalky "tescos extra value" foil tray nonsense filled with vomit and diarrhoea. 
A complete absence of connoisseurs' processed meat products. No puddings. No reconstituted shaped delicacies (the king rib is a big miss for me). 
And i got a completely blank look for asking for a fish supper. After explaining that is was fish with chips, the p***k had the nerve to ask why i didn't just ask for fish and chips. 
Spot on. Maybe the worst Fish Supper I've ever had was in Reading. Debatable if it was even as good as Cod.

On the flipside, I tend to think the further south you venture the better the Indian food becomes.
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47 minutes ago, coprolite said:

I think it’s a progressive problem. 

I'm 300 miles south of Scotland and the chip shops are utterly shit. 

The fish is cod by default. I like cod, but not deep fried in batter. It is a soggy mess and not a patch on haddock. 

The pies. Holy shit. Rectangular chalky "tescos extra value" foil tray nonsense filled with vomit and diarrhoea. 

A complete absence of connoisseurs' processed meat products. No puddings. No reconstituted shaped delicacies (the king rib is a big miss for me). 

And i got a completely blank look for asking for a fish supper. After explaining that is was fish with chips, the p***k had the nerve to ask why i didn't just ask for fish and chips. 

Ma Bam always said the English preferred cod to haddock as they have no taste. 

Why don't you ask for a "Cowan supper". Tam Cowan always says you should get a seperate fish as the steam from the chips makes the batter go soggy. 

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2 minutes ago, Stellaboz said:

Worst fish and chips I've ever had was a chippy in Peterhead around 18 or 19 years ago. Was physically sick after it, was so bad. 

How did they knack that up? It's not like Peterhead is a major fishing port or anything... :rolleyes:

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1 hour ago, coprolite said:

I think it’s a progressive problem. 

I'm 300 miles south of Scotland and the chip shops are utterly shit. 

The fish is cod by default. I like cod, but not deep fried in batter. It is a soggy mess and not a patch on haddock. 

The pies. Holy shit. Rectangular chalky "tescos extra value" foil tray nonsense filled with vomit and diarrhoea. 

A complete absence of connoisseurs' processed meat products. No puddings. No reconstituted shaped delicacies (the king rib is a big miss for me). 

And i got a completely blank look for asking for a fish supper. After explaining that is was fish with chips, the p***k had the nerve to ask why i didn't just ask for fish and chips. 

Couldn't have put it better, what passes for a pie round here isn't worthy of the name. The first, and last, time I tried to eat a steak pie out of my hand here it disintegrated into a mess of meatless filling, mushed pastry, a painfully hot hand and general despair. A hot pork pie is available at certain grounds too. No, I haven't tried it. No, I never will.

I don't know how widespread this is either, but a pizza in Teesside seems not to be a pizza unless it's absolutely drowning in garlic dip.

The parmo is a fine dish, especially the hotshot, and cheese savoury has its merits but it doesn't make up for the miserly menu at the chipper.

Yes. Chipper.

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10 minutes ago, ParsJake said:

Couldn't have put it better, what passes for a pie round here isn't worthy of the name. The first, and last, time I tried to eat a steak pie out of my hand here it disintegrated into a mess of meatless filling, mushed pastry, a painfully hot hand and general despair. A hot pork pie is available at certain grounds too. No, I haven't tried it. No, I never will.

I don't know how widespread this is either, but a pizza in Teesside seems not to be a pizza unless it's absolutely drowning in garlic dip.

The parmo is a fine dish, especially the hotshot, and cheese savoury has its merits but it doesn't make up for the miserly menu at the chipper.

Yes. Chipper.

We have one pizza shop locally that puts plasticcy garlic sauce over everything but most don't. 

Do you get those parmo things at the chip shop*? 

 

 

*i agree with your terminology but am using the esperanto version. 

 

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A mate was on holiday in Yorkshire years ago and asked where the chip shop was. "T'fish shop?" replied a Yorkie. "Naw, I want a chip shop" "Aye lad, tha' wants t'fish shop in High Street"

Apparently the chip shop was called "t'fish shop" in those parts. 

yorkshire.thumb.jpg.22dce2732483eed7fe28a7f10f316e6e.jpg

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9 minutes ago, coprolite said:

We have one pizza shop locally that puts plasticcy garlic sauce over everything but most don't. 

Do you get those parmo things at the chip shop*? 

 

 

*i agree with your terminology but am using the esperanto version. 

 

Parmos are available from kebab/pizza takeaways, recommended if you're ever in the area. :)

The chip shops (might be safer sticking to calling them that) seem to have a choice of cod or haddock and that's it. They do offer you "scraps" with your fish supper, after initially thinking I was being challenged to a fight it seems scraps are the tiny bits of batter that accumulate.

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10 minutes ago, virginton said:

What is a 'hotshot' parmo exactly? Despite having been in Stockton a few times I've never quite been pished enough to order one of these delicacies but with the right description that could change. 

 

A hotshot parmo is generally topped with pepperoni, red onions, jalapenos, garlic butter and fresh chilli. 

An inferno parmo adds peppers to the hotshot. Again, recommended but best to get a half as anyone would struggle to finish a whole parmo in one go.

EDIT - might be helpful to describe the actual parmo as well. Chicken breast in breadcrumb, deep fried and topped with bechamel sauce and cheese.

 

Edited by ParsJake
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29 minutes ago, ParsJake said:

A hotshot parmo is generally topped with pepperoni, red onions, jalapenos, garlic butter and fresh chilli. 

An inferno parmo adds peppers to the hotshot. Again, recommended but best to get a half as anyone would struggle to finish a whole parmo in one go.

EDIT - might be helpful to describe the actual parmo as well. Chicken breast in breadcrumb, deep fried and topped with bechamel sauce and cheese.

 

One hotshot for me, will probably pass on the inferno for the sake of the toilet pan the day after tbh. 

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A mate was on holiday in Yorkshire years ago and asked where the chip shop was. "T'fish shop?" replied a Yorkie. "Naw, I want a chip shop" "Aye lad, tha' wants t'fish shop in High Street"
Apparently the chip shop was called "t'fish shop" in those parts. 
yorkshire.thumb.jpg.22dce2732483eed7fe28a7f10f316e6e.jpg
Yorkshire people annoy me
We are leeds we are leeds WE ARE LEEDS

Sit doon
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