BFTD

Fucking amateurs. Type it up on the PC, print, place on wooden table, take photo, print the photo, scan the photo, upload to the company website. It's the only way to be sure.

Seems like they're working their way through the P&B massive at the moment. Surely only a matter of time before 8Mile is called upon to pass judgement on a shite-based assault case

What did they offer you? I've always figured that these places will give you buttons in exchange for your stuff.

Steady; it's not like I'm from Dundee or anything. (Am I doing this right? I've nothing against Dundonians, but I'm trying to fit in.)

Yes. Shocking how many Americans assume that anything outside of North America is third world. They have plenty of attractive ladies who are absolute filth, however, so...swings and roundabouts.

I was sure this was a post by sjc for a minute there. Had a dire hilarious retort all lined up - fuckin' boo!

Your examples imply that you have zome issues viz your mother. Please, lie down on ze couch unt tell us more, dear boy.

Going another step further, people who come in to work with the lurgy, spread it around to the rest of the office, then bitch and moan about how untermensch everybody else is for not working at 100% efficiency/taking time off/dying. Then spending their time whining about how the wage structure should be geared towards penalising those who take sick days ("it's just a coincidence that it's been five years since I was ill"), including a long public rant at the company AGM. Are these common, or was I lucky?

Being sick and depressed. Also, our address is (vaguely) similar to another in the town, although totally different names, and we regularly get their mail for some reason. I take it to the other address out of courtesy, but they never return the favour, and wouldn't even buzz me into their building to give them their last misplaced parcel. Tried returning it to the sorting office, and it came back to us again We've had a load of missing mail in the last few months; not hard to guess why. Their stuff is going in the bucket from now on.

Holy crap, you can't send batteries through the mail any more? That's me humped whenever the wife's laptop needs a replacement Also, how on earth have you managed to avoid negative feedback on Ebay? Some lunatic vicar neg'd me once because he'd bought something from me at 2pm and it hadn't arrived by 5pm on the same day Got a whole host of stories about mentalist Ebay users. Someone should start a thread.

Pretty much all true IMO, although I think I enjoyed it more than you. Kev's original ending would've been way more fun... Would've had everyone soiling themselves, a la The Mist.

Just discovered this thread. I'm a little pissed, and I notice there are a few familiar faces that post here, so I'd like to announce that I've been depressed for 24 years and haven't found a solution yet. Still, at least I'm not dead, I suppose. Goodnight P&B - kisses to all, and I hope you're all doing well.

Good boy. Tried to give you a greenie, but I'm fresh out. I can't give blood until I'm off the tablets

Just imagine I'm helping you lift them, in a very real, but a very homoerotic way *smooch*

Just about to cover her arse with the shopping bag too, the narcissistic bitch

That is absolute shitehawk behaviour.

You come up with some cracking mental images.

Europa Report - the first manned space flight to Jupiter's moon Europa makes some unexpected discoveries. This is a found-footage thriller, pieced together from the cameras dotted around the vessel, with a few talking heads thrown in. Unfortunately, there's nothing unexpected about the plot, except possibly for the fate of one of the crew members. The whole thing goes exactly as you'd expect and is curiously uneventful. It's a well put-together piece, but has a very peculiar feel to it. It reminded me of those Christian films that start out as normal before any problems are solved by a healthy dose of Jesus, so I was expecting something along those lines, but it thankfully didn't materialise. Could've been really quite good with a more imaginative script.

Ah, Rosario

Just occurred to me that they might really mean, "like I could care less", but the first word has been dropped over time. So, it'd be a sarcastic version of our phrase. I'd do more research, but I could care less.

Open Grave - when an amnesiac regains consciousness in a mass burial pit, he must work with a team of other memory loss sufferers to establish what's happened, and whether or not he's responsible for the pile of bodies he awoke with. This was a pleasant surprise, and is a film worth seeing without knowing too much about the plot. Suffice to say that the story develops into something quite different to the original premise, and is far more interesting than the cliched synopsis might imply. Nice to see a horror story that tries to keep the audience thinking without stretching credulity too far.

Frost - A team of Arctic researchers mysteriously disappear in the field, leaving one member behind to establish what's happened, along with her recently-arrived boyfriend. Icelandic found-footage drama that attempts to go down the route of explaining very little, but unfortunately forgets to make the journey to the lack-of-explanation interesting. Lots of annoying handheld camera jiggling in this one, and it does a dreadful line in camera 'overloading' effects when something scary/eventful is supposed to be happening. The end result is a couple of people with malfunctioning equipment wandering around in the snow to little end.

Possession - after her husband and brother-in-law are involved in a head-on collision, a woman is stunned when her husband appears to have been transported into his brother's body. An alternative synopsis for this would be: a woman attempts to justify acting on her nascent desires for her douchebag brother-in-law after her simpering, saccharine husband ends up in a coma. This is overly sentimental tripe, but mildly amusing when you see through the supposed storyline to what's going on underneath, which must be way more obvious than they'd planned. Also, there must be a million films called Possession, or The Possession - I keep finding new ones. Must be a scunner if you're trying to have a conversation about one of them.

Not irrational, in fairness.

The voices. Do you not hear them?