BFTD

They're watching the footy, mate. Darren and Samantha who, anyway? I'm guessing Gough and Fox, respectively. Am I close?

Is that the show that Abi Titmuss shagged George Best's son on? I'd express surprise that it's still going, but that doesn't seem to go down well with reality TV fans Anyway, today's PTTGOYN is that I figured I'd get away with not varnishing the back fence this year, having done it last summer. Bloody weather.

On this issue only, mind

Puts that whole Dumbarton thing into perspective, huh?

Jim Goodwin? Good Lord I feel I can protect myself, but won't somebody think of the children?

Boo!

Blimey. I'm sure I remember blue being considered the drink of BEASTs when this last came up. I may have to switch back now I know it's safe.

Wait 'til the knees and elbows start poking through the flesh

Try Housebound next. Bit different, but they make a really good double bill, and it has that winning comedy horror element that hardly any films get right. Just watched Return of the Living Dead again recently, if anyone else is looking for another good example of the genre. Might try tracking down the sequels next.

Mods, please.

Ooh, somebody had rich parents. Bet you had the thermal printer for printing out BEASTly photos too.

This has been the story of my week Thank you, kind sir. Hellbhoy QC. I've been sentenced to five years cleaning the lavvies at Ibrox. I wouldn't mind, but I only went in for a funeral

Personally, or are you implying that I'm the happy tractor? Aye, I had an event to attend in the midweek. My usual sexy hobo look just wasn't going to cut the mustard, sadly. I even bought a new suit

I've got (apparently - never seen it) a prominent scar on my scalp from where some f**k-up occurred when the heart monitoring electrodes were being put on my napper. ...I started typing this with the intention of demonstrating that this can happen and not cause serious problems, but perhaps I'm not the best example

Check your PMs. I'm particularly looking forward to the 'Gold Readers' Wives' section that Throbber's going to mod. Edit: fixed the apostrophe, lest any Mormon gold members think they're being picked on.

Condolences. Time helps, is all I can add. Good lad, staying with your mum. Get her pished and try to do something enjoyable (i.e. not watching the Scotland game).

Agreed. Only a BEAST would have laughed at that post.

Everybody kens a laddie who tells everyone that they guessed all the twist endings to films like The Usual Suspects and Sixth Sense...I figure this is just a similar thing. If it makes them happy, who cares. I'm so credulous that it didn't occur to me to care that Hayden Panettiere may not have actually been pumped by P&B's finest, BTW

Yes to all of the above, but I haven't looked since last weekend, so no point listing more stuff that might not even be there anymore. I'm going through it all tomorrow, so I'll get back to you then

I'd no idea that the Kirin Cup had been going for so long, nor that it's only been held twice in the past seven years. Wonder if the SFA are turning down the invites these days, or if we're just too diddyish to warrant being included now

That's one happy tractor. A new paint job and we might have a replacement for that bloody hornet mascot.

Big fan of the Scorpions, Bairnardo.

...no doubt included to show off the extra performance of his new MMX processor, the jammy bast I remember seeing Quake running on a 3D accelerator card for the first time and drooling like a moron. It'd looked like this when I'd been playing it (probably played just as cackhandedly too):

I could murder a meaty kebab right now, thanks to you b*****ds. Not so keen on the cheese though