scottsdad

My team are all holding out for my big December Comeback.

Not working tomorrow. Wife away. Sinking a few beers. Die Hard on ITV4.

Half a compo face, but I approve of the pettiness.

His sense of direction must be really bad!

Is there a managerial vacancy at B&Q?

Motorist takes local council to court over £70 fine for driving on bus route... but he says road markings were blocked by roadworks

Folk that park like this get unnaturally angry if you park next to them in the same fashion, straddling the line.

I watched a sad documentary about how blind people get used to new surroundings. Touching stuff.

I once went out with a French girl. I asked if she was into golden showers. "Oui, Oui!"

Jonathan Banks from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul was in Airplane!

I won't be there but have a great day guys.

Since we can't use plastic straws anymore, I've just been choking turtles with my bare hands.

Coogan should win awards for this. If you want a documentary, the one on Netflix is excellent. Covers other things, like the then Prince Charles passing his speeches by Savile for comments. The doc really covers how he weaved his way into politicians and royalty.

In every big organisation I have worked in, the powers that be have invested in and launched initiatives that have proven to be shite. I some cases they spend huge sums on *something* that was supposed to make things better but never properly worked. I each case they refused to simply ditch it and go back to the old system that worked. I don't know if it was pride, some mental refusal to accept the money was wasted. I reckon that's where we are with VAR.

Some batshit stuff going on in the US. Speaker of the House binned a week or so ago, and the favourite to take over is a Trumpist election denier. Like appointing Mark François as prime minister.

I watched BBC Breakfast today. Various folk were on and every time, I kept thinking "John Hughes could do a better job". Grant Shapps the defence secretary? Yogi can do it better. Middle East peace envoy? You know who would be better. Some shitebag council leader drivelling about something. You get the idea. This site has ruined my brain.

It's crazy. I went to Linlithgow and there are traffic lights on the road, near the abattoir. Stuck on red, both ways.

Seeding chat? Seething chat

Sorry to hear that.

My vice captain, too. "six months to live" he promised us last year.

9 for Friday

Grandmother, 78, has landline number used for more than 50 years cut off after ringing BT to end her broadband package so she could pay for husband's care This is how to properly do a Compo Face.

Other beverages are available

The editing in Beckham was really good too. Like the bit about celebrity. "Oh no. Celebrity never changed me. I stayed the same." Cut to Fergie: "Oh aye, it changed him. Changed him a lot." Or [my favourite]. David Beckham: "There was a chant. A horrible, horrible chant and I can't bring myself to say it." Cut to Victoria: "Posh Spice takes it up the arse!"

Reminds me of when Scott was about 13 and had a load of spots on his forehead. I remember sitting talking to my folks about him. "Aye, it's a shame he has all those spots on his foreskin". And I carried on talking, not realising the slip of the tongue I'd made. The wife was creasing herself as my folks were passing looks back and forth.