Raith Against The Machine

Had some Barr's Cola.

Tis brilliant stuff. Actually, I might invest in some. Why am I so skint?

Maybe it only works in Arbroath, or in the open air. It was definitely working for Renton.

Renton asked me to pass on a message to you... "GEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIITUPYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" He may have been slightly inebriated (as I am just now), because he'd just finished singing "DUNC, DUNC, SUPER DUNC".

People () closing threads that they've started whilst drunk. That's not how it works. See xbl for a lesson in how to cope with ridicule - you have to ride it out!

I can't understand people who do that. Tell other people that they're being racist. If someone who I didn't know was blatantly racist in front of me, I'd probably be a bit embarrassed and say "heh... yeh" and then try to change the subject.

I think I'm going mental. I just got a wee pop-up box from a wee maintenance program I have, telling me that it deleted 33Mb worth of stuff, or some such bollocks, and I said "Oh, thanks", out loud.

Sign language for babies? What next? Braille for kittens? Audio description for my perma-confused Gran?

Could be worse. Bus arrives, you go to the door, it opens... and the driver gets out, fag in hand. Feck off you tit. Smoke out the window, it's fecking baltic out here. At least let me on the thing first!

My room is fecking roasting, it's like sleeping in a microwave. Except, you know, the floor doesn't revolve.

You can't fail to love Sloanaldo. I quite fancy him to get 8 assists tonight, in a 7-1 victory.

The good quality, proper Indian restaurant/takeaway in Dalgety Bay has shut down, while the shitey kebabhouse is still carrying on pushing out shite food to drunk folk, paying its illegal workers a pittance. There's just no justice. Not that I'm going to stop going mad in the other one when I'm pished. Mmm Munchybox!

What the buggery f**k is a hand twat? Is that a vagina on your hand, or a hand protruding from your vagina?

Find a job before you leave school.

Handy Andy? Andy Pandy?

Walker's "Builder's Breakfast" crisps are awful. Taste like eggy farts. I know that sounds ridiculously juvenile, but it's an absolutely perfect description of what it tastes like.

It's definitely Jim Hamilton and Scott Severin. Thanks, all

Could Jim Hamilton be one? What about Latapy?

Was listening to 810MW earlier and Richard Gordon was saying that Barry Ferguson was the third player to have scored in 10 out of the 11 SPL seasons so far. Got to the football before he revealed the other two, and I'd really like to know. Anyone able to help?

Mogwai provided the soundtrack for that, IIRC.

The Uni have taken something like 3 months to tell me I can't take 2 law classes at the same time, so I have to drop one of them and replace it. Never mind that I've already been to lectures, and bought the book, as well as missing deadlines for graded work in my new class. Boo Stirling Uni

The US mortgage crisis is possibly the most boring thing to have ever happened, ever. And I can't be fucking arsed writing about the difference between the traditional mortgage lending system, and the new shitey reckless one that ruined the world. I just don't care

In this case, yeh. It's hardly unique, though. I wouldn't normally be bothered, but the last time I was in it was early in the night and I was bursting as I got in so headed straight for the bog. Nobody else in there, so automatically it's fairly awkward. After bleeding the radiator, I went to wash my hands and noticed his wee dish just had a solitary pound coin in it, and I felt pressured to put something in. Feeling safe in the knowledge that my back pocket was half full of twenty pence pieces (plus a fiver, and a receipt from somewhere...) I stuck delved deep for a small contribution, but when my hand resurfaced I'd manage to lift 3 pound coins and a penny. Now, I can't very well stick a penny in, or go rummaging for coins of a lesser value, so I had to forfeit £1 for a meagre scrap of paper towel. Robbing fucker.

Toilets in nightclubs. Can't believe I spent £1 for the privilege of having a small black man watch me piss.

My Gran sponsored a dog and it wrote to her twice, then died. Smackhead, no doubt.